Want another baby but terrified of dying

[Thefourbells]

I've just turned 32 and my DS has just turned 5. DH 5 years older than me. I am desperate for another baby but I am absolutely terrified of dying in childbirth. My first labour lasted 4 days and ended in an emergency section and both DS and I got sepsis. It was the worst experience of my life.

I would 100% have a planned section next time but I am just terrified something would still go wrong and I would die and leave DS without a mother. I've had counselling and a birth debrief and neither has alleviated this fear. I'm getting on in age now and don't want to leave it too late but I am paralysed by fear.

Has anyone had similar?

Understandably after such a traumatic first labour experience that you are frightened.

Given what happened would you not be under special care during your next labour with every available precaution taken to make sure all goes well?

Perhaps more counselling is needed to alleviate your anxiety and to give you to focus on the joy a second baby would bring you and your family.

I dont think i would be under special care, I was told it would just be the midwife and I wouldn't see a consultant til the section itself. My notes from my first labour were lost.

I had a similar first labour so opted for an elective section the second time. I was referred to see the consultant beforehand to discuss and agree the section.

Actually we still had delayed cord clamping in theatre, so that's an option too.

The chances of dying are so slim that it's not worth worrying about (easier said than done). But if you are fortunate to fall pregnant then you might feel great. We aren't in control of the future and you might regret not trying. Maybe hypnotherapy is worth a try? Just throwing it our there, but do you definitely want another child? Is this your subconscious saying that actually you don't? Please feel free to ignore 🙂

Actually just reading about your first labour I totally understand your apprehension. Would a birth doula help, someone who can be your advocate? I can't believe they lost your notes, maybe your local MP can write to the hospital on your behalf to say you feel like consultant led treatment would be best for you.