Does this count as pointing and pretend play for toddler DS?

[Pivotthesofa]

DS is nearly 17 months and does more hand gesturing than pointing but recently he's pointed to his dad's credit card from the buggy, pointed at a burger his dad was eating , and yesterday when I asked where the flowers were on the table he pointed at them.
Does this count as the two types of pointing, shared interest and showing? I wasn't sure. HV said they should be doing both types by 18 months.
when we are out he often holds his hand by his side in a point as though ready to point out things but doesn't seem to actually do it very often.

He also has a tea set and will pour the kettle into a cup (or anywhere to be honest) if I make the sound of 'pouring' and same for his kids watering can that came with his playhouse. Is this the starting of pretend play? Aside from that he generally brings us things and lobs things around or puts them in his mouth, although he does 'play' with his wooden puzzles by placing the wooden shapes on the base, not in the correct places obviously, and wheels his cars about and shakes his tambourine and musical instruments.

I was just wondering as we have a check up with our health visitor next month, as we couldn't do his 1 year check face to face, and it's made me a bit nervous as I wasn't sure he was hitting the pointing milestone.

He does wave, but he does it sporadically and sometimes I think it's more excited hand flapping (he does wave back at you if you wave and he's in the mood though) but has never clapped. He likes you clapping his hands together and will high five if you ask, but hasn't clapped himself.

DH thinks I'm worrying over nothing but now I know the check up is coming I feel like I haven't been doing enough with him to help him develop these skills!

I should mention that he doesn't have any words yet, but does a LOT of jabbering, sound mimicking and 'conversing' with his noises and understands a lot of instructions like us asking for things without pointing, asking where people are, asking him to fetch his blanket, whether he wants to read a specific book (he'll go and find it), whether he wants a drink or dinner or a snack etc

Hi, I dont have any advice as to whether this counts as pointing but I'm following with interest as my son is very similar.

He is 19months and it is only in the past few weeks that he has started to point to things in books, however has pointed to request for things for a while. He shares interests with us in other ways and will look for our reaction to new things/favourite tv programs etc but it is still a worry as pointing seems so important (something I hadnt realised)

I should also add he was a late Clapper (18months) and waver (17months ish) so you are not on your own! It's such a worry!

Following for my toddler who is currently 16 months but I feel a bit behind his peers :/

Following for my toddler who is currently 16 months but I feel a bit behind his peers :/

Interesting. Do yours go to nursery? DS doesn't and I'm wondering how much lockdown has affected this as we understand him so well he doesn't really need to ask for a lot of things if that makes sense.

He kind of whinges or makes an ah ah ah when he's trying to ask for something. He has done clear pointing but it doesn't seem as frequent as other kids who are younger than him, same with talking, I only noticed in the park to be honest!

He walked at 13 months, is a brilliant eater, no sensory issues as far as we can see although he's scared of some musical toys and gets very upset at the hairdryer and food mixer. Likes the hoover though! He also loves books and will point at things in books *usually the textured areas, and constantly brings us things to show us, lifts up his arms to be held, will give me 'kisses' on the lips and loves a cuddle when he's tired.

He's quite cautious by nature and with walking wouldn't even let us help him take a few steps, would only stand on his own and didn't even take proper practise steps then suddenly just marched across the room, so I wonder if he will be the same with other things.

He still puts things in his mouth a lot, and although he has shown interest in crayons he doesn't really draw with them more stabs them at the paper and prefers to put them in his mouth! He's my first so I'm not really sure what is normal.

He plays nicely with his sand pit and water pit (does put the sand in his mouth sometimes though, usually when teething) and loves musical instruments. He doesn't cuddle cuddly toys though, he gives them to me or lobs them out of the way - he does lean his forehead into them so I can make them give him kisses.

So hard to know when to worry !

DS also has good eye contact, very engaged with people and always demanding their attention, likes them to play with him/sing to him etc
Always looks up to make sure you're paying attention if Daddy or Nanny is doing something funny
If he's laughing or being tickled by someone he always looks for me to make sure I'm seeing it!

He follows my point and will look at things I show him and gets very excited about certain toys and books.

He doesn't like to be cooped up and just wants to roam about the house and really enjoys nursery rhymes although doesn't do the actions - to be fair I've never really done the actions with him.

He mimics sounds and expressions but doesn't do it for animal sounds. When we are trying to get him to say words he really watches our mouths and makes a similar sound back if he can

Your son sounds scarily identical to mine, right down to not letting us hold hands to walk, it all had to be on his own terms, his walking was also very late. He appears to be quite speech delayed, again this has progressed in the last month with a lot more babbling than usual.

My son has just started nursery as I had the exact same concerns as you, he just doesnt know what to do when he meets another child, he touched a little girls leg at the park this weekend as if to check if she was real, lockdown has been brutal for their social development!

He is also my first, I was so concerned we got a referral to a development clinic, however at the appointment all of the professionals were surprisingly reassuring at how engaged he was and that although his speech is delayed he is communicating effectively through other means and will review when he is 2.5.

It's so hard not to compare, I actually feel a sinking stomach feeling when I see other little ones much younger pointing away in their buggies. It doesnt help that my son is so big for his age (19 months wearing age 3-4) so people expect a lot more from him also.

I fell into a google hole when he was around 15months and made myself quite ill with worry, it turned into a deep anxiety/panic problem, in the end I had to give myself a proper shake and realise that the time wasted worrying was preventing me from enjoying my child. I now focus on the things he can do, celebrate every little milestone, make a huge fuss of his progress and am the proudest mum, even if he is still wobbling about the park like a 1 year old, he does it in style!

@Dugi3 I feel exactly the same!

He's also a chunk as well he's a very good eater so no sensory issues with food etc

He just doesn't seem to be interested enough in a lot of things to point etc, I'm going to try and ask him more things but it's almost like he focuses on one thing and then moves on to the next and he's really trying to talk at the moment I think, from the way the sounds he's making have changed

He loves other children, loves watching them at the park but does seem very unsure when they come up to him - I'm not worried about this though as it's only natural after not having any social interaction for so long :(

Have nursery raised any concerns or is it just your own concerns?

@dugi3 that's a really good way to think about it. I hope my thread hasn't made you anxious. I wonder if a lot of toddlers are going to be slightly delayed with some things due to the recent circumstances

His nursery have been amazing, they said that whilst they can see he is a little behind, they are used to children developing at their own pace and have experienced the full range. They are also keeping a book of observations/progress so that I can take it along to further appointments which might be something to ask if you decide a nursery, it is so helpful to have that outside perspective because I had no benchmark of 'typical'.
Mine is exactly the same, always on the go so it seems like he is taking everything in and onto the next thing without having time to stop and point. He asks for help by holding the toy up to me and making noise, if something comes on tv with music he will giggle and turn to me several times to see if I can see it, if he discovers he gets praise for doing something, he will do it over and over whilst looking at me to be told he is so clever/good try/fab boy!
I am hoping we will look back on these years when our children are fully grown talking, walking, pointing adults and wonder what that was all about! They will never know the worry they cause!

The one concern nursery did raise when he started at 15months was that he didn't seem to respond well to his name, I had noticed this also, this is what sent me into the Google hole. However, again within a few weeks his response was excellent and I can confidently say its selective hearing whether he responds or not, he just always seems to be at the very last point of the typical timescales with everything

@Dugi3 thank you for sharing all that. DS does respond to his name but it’s selective hearing too!

His comprehension seems good as he understands a lot of different instructions and questions, but his communication does seem to be behind even though he manages to make his needs and wants understood.

I do wonder how much of it is the fact he’s been shut in with us for so long due to the pandemic. We’ve gone to the park and things obviously but it’s not like they’ve been able to have play dates. I think you’ll see your DS come on leaps and bounds now he’s at nursery

When you say your DS pointed when he wanted things for a while - did he do it a lot? DS only does this sporadically but he does do it. Usually it’s to new things he hasn’t seen before when we are out and about ie the credit card

He also doesn’t point to his nose/touch his nose if you ask him where it is although I’ve only been recently trying and he will sometimes grab mine if I ask

I wonder if a lot of toddlers are going to be slightly delayed with some things due to the recent circumstances
Absolutely they are. They have lost countless opportunities for socialisation. Before Covid they would have been at groups and in the park with other people.

But also they would have been interacting with people in ways that before this you wouldn't have even noticed. Like with a stranger waiting in the supermarket queue.

Oh is that your teddy? He's lovely.
Child drops teddy from buggy to floor.
Where's he gone?
Child points.

You wouldn't have been thinking 'what an excellent opportunity to demonstrate/practice his pointing. It would have been a perfectly ordinary occurrence pre-pandemic.

My school is sending a letter home the week before the reports to tell the parents that their children are going to look as if they have fallen behind but that it's the same for everyone. We are measuring them against criteria that was in place before Covid. And it's the same for your baby.

It's not him, it's the situation.

@SavoyCabbage you’re so right I hadn’t even thought about all those little exchanges :( he has three cousins one who is a bit younger and he seems leaps ahead, but then he’s been going to nursery since he was 9 months so I guess that helps

I’m talking to him lots, pointing to things (I’m not really a pointer and neither is DH so we have to remember to do this!)

He’s very good at understanding “mummy have it” if he has something he shouldn’t and definitely understands our “no” and “ah ah ah” so I think his comprehension is there, it’s just him actually communicating that doesn’t seem quite where it should be. He’s still doing it, just perhaps not in the way he should be at this age. He was a little behind with it at his one year check too but not enough to raise any flags and the HV said then she was seeing a lot of babies who are the same

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Sorry typo.

App is glitching.

He's been pointing a bit more today - at me, at the floor when he wanted to get down, randomly at the sky when we were out so hopefully it's on its way development wise. No sign of any words but lots of noises and 'conversations' today.

He's also started mimicking the sound I make for the happyland mouse he's got which he's not done before with animal noises