Online funerals 😢

[Wipedout7]

I attended an online funeral this lunchtime for an old friend. Due to covid, obviously only a handful of people were able to attend and as I hadn’t seen too much of her in the last couple of years (geography and circumstances) I wasn’t in the inner circle which is understandable

I attended the online service but have felt so low and tearful ever since. I think it’s due to the fact that you just close the webpage and you’re on your own, there’s no wake, or other people to hug or chat to.

My heart goes out to anyone whose lost a loved one during this shitty period and has had to grieve that way. It really sucks.

I attended one for an old friend in November. The feed cut out during her Dads eulogy. I really wanted to hear that part above all the rest of it.

Sending a hug to you. It is sad it has to be done like this at the moment.

Thanks @EscapeTheCastle and that sounds tough. There was no issue with the feed technically, it just felt strange and the most so at the end of the funeral. Still can’t shake the feeling hours after.

I've attended a few online funeral services this year. They are really hard, but each time I was amazed and uplifted by the fact that so many people could join and from all over. Some from overseas.

It made a massive difference to the families that people cared enough to make the effort.

But yes, it's strange having no one to hug. Phone calls were made and zoom chats set up instead.

I can very much relate to your feelings here.

My Dad died in late March so we had to hold his funeral in April. I also went to one other lockdown funeral in January (went in person, not on the live streaming). Neither death was Covid related.

The January one was particularly bleak. We couldn't do a wake or any sort of real gathering, just speak to each other briefly outside the crematorium afterwards before heading home. It just seemed so clinical and wasn't helped by the weather being absolutely cold and dismal. That was for a friend and former work colleague.

With my Dad's funeral we did have an unofficial gathering afterwards at my parents' house. Just immediate family and the neighbours, but it really helped. My mother was in a very vulnerable state having just lost her life partner of over 60 years and would have been utterly destroyed had everyone just simply gone home. So we didn't go home, we stayed to celebrate his life with her and we don't regret that at all. It was totally the right thing to do.

I'm sorry you have had to be going through this. It really is shit. I think may of these restrictions need to go now. They are affecting people badly.

I went to funeral in person last August and it was exactly the same as you describe. I still feel like they deserved much, much more. It was slightly better for family in that we were able to gather together at home. I felt awful for friends and colleagues who were unable to join us.

It's just awful. I attended a close family member's online just before Xmas as it was taking place hundreds of miles away and I was heavily pregnant with covid cases rampant. I suppose that given covid the online element allowed me to attend in some way but it was dreadful- I went through a whole box of tissues and felt devastated for weeks after that I hadn't said a proper goodbye. I'm sorry to hear about your friend x

I don't know if anyone's read this article by Grace Dent about the difficulties of grieving in this time...I found it really moving.
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/food/2021/feb/19/british-grief-centres-mainly-around-the-making-of-sandwiches-grace-dent

Sorry for everyone who has lost someone in this strange time.

Really sorry to hear about your friend. I’ve watched one funeral online, and attended my DGM’s during covid. It feels such a disservice to the person to have a little chat outside the crematorium then go home. And even odder to watch online and then log off alone, as you say. It feels like a very blunt full stop to the life of someone you love.

Yes I really hope things can change soon.

We had my elderly DM's funeral last week (non-covid related and not completely unexpected, though I do suspect that having most of her social life banned for 12 months accelerated her decline).

It was impossible for some of her brothers and sisters to attend due to the distances involved and various family are stuck in Oz. From that perspective it was good to know that they could "view" if they wanted to. The celebrant was mindful that he was doing a service online too.

Of the thirty attending I think there were a couple of us who had just had one dose of the vaccine, most had had both doses at least a month ago.

Everybody was masked up in a large room; we could easily have achieved social distancing with double the numbers. I didn't seem fair when we were treated to footage of football fans and nightclubbers over the weekend.

I am not sure whether it is doable for you, OP, but we have decided that we will have a memorial/get-together over the summer.

That article by Grace Dent is spot on, thank you for sharing