Would you mind if your child changed their name?

[Clymene]

This isn't a TAAT but I wondered how other parents would feel about their child changing their name. It seems to be the accepted view that if your child identifies as non binary of trans or similar, they change their name and their parents are supposed to not have any issue with it.

But I think I would and I think a lot of other parents would too. Whether it was to do with an identity or any other reason. There is so much agonising that goes on here about choosing a baby's name or fury when other people mispronounce or misspell that name. And yet parents are apparently supposed to just say OK fine when they're teenager suddenly decides they no longer want their carefully chosen moniker.

One of mine completely changed her name - first, middle & surname. It really hurt(s) tbh.

My Dd is female, and identifies as such.
She now uses a shortened version of her middle name, and has added her paternal family's surname to hers.
It doesn't bother me at all, I chose her names, and love them both, I understand her use or the extra surname, but officially it's still mine.
I call her by her given first name which she also wants, as I'm her Mum and gave it to her.
In our case it has nothing at all to do with trans/non binary etc.
She's a female in a long term relationship with a male and happy to be so.
I gave her two names, so no reason why she shouldn't use the second, over the first.

She's most definitely a she too, she'd be horrified if you called her they, or a cis-woman.
She's a woman, and will tell you so if questioned.
She's not backwards in coming forwards!

My DD is female but hates her name as it was the most popular, she wanted to change it but never seems to have enough money to. She just refuses to answer to her full name unless it's her grandparents. I wanted to call her the shortened name but DH insisted she had a " proper" name.

Someone once told me that a name is the first gift a parent gives to their child besides the gift of life - it's the gift of identity. And like any gift, it should be freely given with no strings attached, so if your child changes their name they are not rejecting you, or the gift, they are exchanging it for something that suits their needs better at that time.

I changed my name as a teen and wrote all my assignments for school in my new name. It was a phase, brought on by a dislike of how my name scanned (I thought it too short and plain).

"And yet parents are apparently supposed to just say OK fine when they're teenager suddenly decides they no longer want their carefully chosen moniker."

They might have chosen it but they're not the one who has to live with it.