Help me host a sleepover!

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Dd is 9 and probably slightly late to sleepovers given they haven't been able to meet indoors for the last year.

She is desperate to have some friends over to sleep so I've promised (covid dependent) that it will happen at some point over the next couple of months.

I'm just not sure what to do my end!

I figured ds (6) can go sleep at Grannies so that he at least gets a good nights sleep. Three friends (even numbers better right?)

All I can think of is supplying pizzas and putting a movie on st some point.

Any top tips/suggestions?

Give them food, shut the door and leave them to it. Check on them once an hour and be prepared for them to be grumpy zombies in the morning because they won't sleep 😁

What does your dd like to do?

I think give them space and time to talk and play and be silly. Pizza and film is a good idea. Do you have Netflix or similar? Could they be in charge for the evening?

Makeup? Lego?

@EvilOnion

Give them food, shut the door and leave them to it. Check on them once an hour and be prepared for them to be grumpy zombies in the morning because they won't sleep 😁

Yup, this!

Make sure they don't have unrestricted internet access, so if the other girls bring smart phones. You want to know what they're looking at. I think I was 9 or 10 when a friend showed me porn at a sleepover on her laptop

They can have the lounge for the evening, we have Netflix/Amazon Prime/Disney Plus so I assume will find something on there they agree on.

What time do I then send them up "to bed" knowing of course the chit chat will go on til late.

What do I do about mobile phones? Dd doesnt have one but I know a couple of her friends do - do I just ask them to keep them in the lounge after bed?

I remember having a big sleepover for my birthday as a kid and my mum running a whole load of games and activities. It was fun, but I dont think I share her energy.

Definitely pizza and movies and leave them too it. Bed at 10.30ish with instructions to be quiet and phones taken off them at that point. Then ignore them unless the noise gets too much!! Don't expect them to get any sleep but they will enjoy themselves!

We put ask them to put their phones downstairs in the kitchen on charge so they can access them any time they like but are not in bedroom. This happened after hearing about a local sleepover and some late night bullying over WhatsApp occurred. Lots of snacks, popcorn etc. Films. Maybe other activities like nail polish/face masks? Depending how girlie they are. We did decorating t shirts one year with fabric pens, went down well.

Get them to bring sleeping bags and let them stay in the lounge all night. Leave them to it. Only intervene if the noise gets too much. Supply endless crisps and sweets for after the pizza.

I was tempted to leave them in the lounge all night, but our lounge is above the downstairs neighbours bedroom so felt it may bother them.

Dds room is big enough to all fit on the floor in there (we have mattresses and sleeping bags a plenty).

If she's never had a sleepover before, I'd start with a single friend before you go for multiple friends.

Identify a suitable film for them to watch in advance, food could happen at the same time or you might find it easier to get them to pause the film half way through to eat. Before the friend arrives, think about toys/games/activities they can do together after the film but before settling down to 'sleep' and get these ready in your DD's room - it's a good idea if the bed/camping mat set up is ready before friends arrive too.

After the film has been watched and food eaten, I'd get the children to get themselves ready for bed and send them upstairs. At about 10pm they could maybe have a 'midnight' feast before cleaning their teeth. Give them a time by which you only want to hear whispering...

In terms of mobile phones, let the parents know your house rules when you invite their child. For us, it's that all phones are switched off and in the next door room/on the landing overnight. We've stuck with this, even when DD1 was 15 (she's 16 now but covid has prevented any sleepovers) because I think it's important that when people are trying to sleep, are in night clothes etc. that they don't have to worry about photos being taken and shared around. DD1 hasn't been thrilled about this but it's not stopped her friends wanting to stay over. We've always been upfront about it and never prevented access to phones but said they won't be in the same room as the sleeping is meant to be happening overnight. Aged 9, neither of our DCs or their friends had mobiles so it wasn't an issue but by Y6 they did. Being upfront is important as it means that parents or friends who are unhappy with this arrangement can decline the invitation and any friends who need the security of knowing they would be able to contact their parent independently at any point, have this knowledge in advance so are spared the anxiety of having to ask about phones.

Weve got a playpark next to us so I thought if they get dropped off around 5, we could go along there for an hour or so, then back for pizzas at 6ish then start the movie after that

Good idea about stuff to do after the movie, I'll leave out some stuff in her room like Twister/ nail varnishes etc.

ds never had his first sleepover until he was 9ish. It is a good age to start.

Make sure Amazon/Netflix is restricted on age, or don't give them access!

I still remember taking ds and a friend home from a sleepover when they were around 11ish telling me how it went. They wanted to watch a scary film and being kids thought one including animals would be fun - and found the Human Centipede on Netflix, his friend thought it was great, ds was very quiet. A quick google showed it was a horror/porn film. Cue a very awkward conversation with the school secretary who was hosting the sleepover to let her know what they had watched.

If you are taking phones off them at night let their parents know, incase they expect a reply from their dc when they text them to ask if all is ok.

Otherwise - sweets, crisps, popcorn and don't expect any sleep.

Agree with @SE13Mummy. One friend, no phones overnight.
Do special dessert eg ice cream sundaes.

I'd definitely do pizza and movies etc and I definitely second the phones etc in a different room at night... how about an ice cream 'bar' too? My daughter loves it still at 16 when we do this.. a few different ice creams, toppings and sauces etc.

I'll just add that 'sleep' over is the biggest misnomer there is. There will be little sleep going on.

For activities, making your own pizza and decorating fairy cakes have been popular with mine.

Prepare something for a midnight feast.

Haha I'm definetly not expecting them to get any decent sleep, and dont mind, as long as they arent so noisy that dh and I cant even get a few hours shut eye.

Hi
Echoing a pp I would say that maybe start with one guest as sleepovers can be a bit fraught with emotions as well, esp with lots of girls and will prob be a relatively new and exciting thing anyway even with 1 guest.
As an alternative I usually do something first eg cakes or just dance if you have it is amazing for sleepovers with multiple guests !
Then pizza then I get them to get into pjs and into bed then movie snuggled up in bed ( with popcorn) -I sometimes choose in advance and just put on, to avoid disputes. Then teeth, lights out for “quiet chatting”, which can go on for hours but at least they are in bed!

OP, there is a common misconception on MN that they don't sleep, stay awake all night and will feel tired and ill the next day.

Only if you let it!

I have 3 dc and have hosted many sleepovers. They can have a lovely time and settle down for sleep at midnight or so. What is this obsession with children staying up all night? Lots of children hate that. Don't be afraid to be the adult in charge and set some ground rules.

As for activities - yes to above suggestions - pizza, movies, maybe some arts and crafts. We've done make your own ice cream sundaes and make your own mocktails which was fun.

You're definitely right to make it a twosome or a foursome.
I invited 2 other girls to have a sleepover with dd once and there were tears and mum's coming to pick up their dd's at 11pm.
I think pizza and movie sounds great.
I'd advise keeping out of the way as much as possible so you don't cramp dd's style and the girls feel like they can relax without Mrs BernadetteRostan watching them.
We usually ask that all phones/tablets are left in the kitchen on charge.
I'd ask they are up in the bedroom by 10 and while they are in the lounge I'd go upstairs, tidy away toys/games and dim the lights, put on fairy lights and make it cosy. Perhaps make some hot chocolate.
If you're able then perhaps buy some magazines so the girls are more likely to sit and chill ( animals and us/pink etc) and leave them on their beds as a little suprise.