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Original poster

How did you know your marriage was over?

38 replies

Ilovedmybed1985 · 09/05/2021 21:30

I have been married 5 years to my husband. We have a baby and a toddler together. I am now wondering whether we should even be together, so many arguments every single day. What was it that made you realise it was over?

OP posts:

Sideorderofchips · 10/05/2021 11:33

When he fucked my best mate.

Twinkie01 · 10/05/2021 11:55

When 2 year old DD said Daddy don't hurt mummy. He had me up a wall with his hands around my throat.

It was drink and drugs and we were very different people but at that moment I thought this isn't the relationship I want DD seeing growing up and we both deserved better.

Workinghardeveryday · 10/05/2021 12:14

So many awful stories on here. Hope you have all found Mr/Mrs Right and happy now

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Relationship problems

FijiCavanaugh · 10/05/2021 13:05

Not a marriage but long cohabiting relationship. He was a nice man and we got on well, rarely argued so it wasn't like many of these awful stories. He was lazy though, rarely had paying work and was conviced his hobby 'job' would make it big.

I knew I had to leave when he told me for the umpteenth time that his big break was coming as a result of xyz and I just internally rolled my eyes. I had stopped believing in him and stopped respecting him. I had started to dislike him which I knew would end in me hating him so he had to go before I turned into someone I didn't want to be.

weegiepower · 10/05/2021 15:05

Loads of little things and attitudes over the years built up, we always had a very toxic relationship from both sides, but once we had children I felt I was growing up and changing and he wasn't. For me it was him being really angry at me that I wouldn't take 6 of the 12 speeding points he'd got in a matter of weeks, he was so angry I wouldn't and made me feel like absolute crap. We had a small baby and he barely helped around the house or did anything to support me, it was all words and not actions and I was exhausted with a toddler and a baby.

Things built up over the following months and something in my mind just switched and felt desperately like I didn't want to be with him anymore. That was 2.5 years and although we had a baby and toddler at the time, I am so so much happier now.

LondonStone · 10/05/2021 17:06

Also not a marriage but long cohabiting relationship.

The morning after he simply didn’t come home one night. By 10am I was calling his mum, his dad, his brother, his best friend, his boss... thinking he might be hurt or dead. Turns out he spent the night with Bunny, the female colleague he told me not to worry about.

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/05/2021 17:09

I went for tests on a breast lump with 3 children under 5 while watched the racing on TV. That wasn't even the worst thing he did.

MrsM2021 · 10/05/2021 18:05

When he said that he would burn the house down with me in it if I ever dared leave him.
I knew then that I needed to leave or he would kill me eventually.
Thank God for non-molestation orders!

FabulouslyFab · 10/05/2021 18:17

Self employed he went away to work on a contract and when he came back he brought his ‘assistant’ who was going to help with the business. Then he disappeared for the whole of Christmas Day ‘working’....
I hung on for another two years before I left him tho tbh for the sake of the kids I should’ve gone sooner.
They didn’t last. She has loads of kids now and I do wonder if she ever thinks about what she put my 3 young ones through.

Sagaris · 10/05/2021 18:27

When he punched me so hard in the side of the head that I fell over the chair next to me, while eating my dinner. I woke up on the floor, choking, and my 2 DC's trying to wake me up, crying. All because I had arranged to take them out on an evening PTA event, I wasn't allowed to make arrangements if he wasn't coming. He had done other horrible stuff to me before then, but that was the first time in front of the kids. He was truly vile, but I put up with it because he had worn me down and convinced me I was useless. That evening literally knocked some sense in me! I saw a solicitor the next day - I tried for 16 years but couldn't take it any more.

imsanehonest · 10/05/2021 18:38

I'd put up with so much shit over the years (cheating/verbal abuse) but it was the night that my young DC2 was crying (he'd shouted at her for not eating her tea) and she came to me for a hug and he snarled "Don't you dare hug her."
So I did and said to him "Don't you ever tell me not to hug my child!" And that was it. That was the breaking point. Chucked him out.

Heatherjayne1972 · 10/05/2021 18:43

When I found his old phone all charged up and the messages to and from the OW
That plus the lazy entitled slob he became oh and knocking me about
What a Charmer !

Ollinisca · 11/05/2021 02:29

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