Does anyone else need frequent life changes?

[ChangeNeedChange]

I'll start by acknowledging that I'm pretty sure this is a product of a very unsettled childhood. I always need a considerable change - moving house, country, job etc. To feel satisfied with life. I'm in a situation currently where none of those things is really possible, and am wondering if it might be better to try and break this cycle. Or, to find an alternative. But what? I really want to move, but I really shouldn't.

I've tried searching this on the internet, but all articles relate to the opposite problem, and advise how to deal with large changes. I actively seek them out. Any idea how I can resolve this?

Do you need to resolve it? If change makes you happy, then why not embrace it?

I am probably a bit the same, and admittedly it's not always beneficial in all aspects, but I love a challenge and I love exploring and the thought of being in one house and one job for the rest of my life leaves me cold.

Having said that, I have a friend who has been in the same job since he was in school, working weekends, and he talks about when he retires from that same job, and in some ways I do envy that level of contentment. But I don't envy that life.

You're right, I don't actually want to, but because I can't do anything big and new now, I'm really frustrated. Can you think of anything that doesn't involve a big house or job move that might have the same effect? I'm not keen on having more babies or getting animals. Work commitments make hobbies tricky. I can't think of a replacement for now.

I moved around a lot as a child (forces child) and I always joke that I get itchy feet as an adult after two or three years.....

What an interesting concept.
What Do you think the reason behind it is? You say there is little on the internet re this. Interesting.

What do you get out of a big change, OP, that makes it appealing for you? How often do you need to make these big changes to feel comfortable? Does your family feel the same way, because this could be an issue going forward.

I am like this too. How about changing your style or going Vegan or watching films or reading books you wouldn’t ordinarily pick. Not the big change you are itching for but it’s something.

I’ve ditched good jobs and relationships in the past due to the change itch and never regretted it.

My husband is happy with big changes and enjoys them, but doesn't need them like I do.
Veganism etc. Won't satisfy the need. I've tried exercise... I really like the challenge as pp said above. Finding out about a new place, how to do things, renovation projects etc. I'm just very easily bored I suppose.

I am like this too, but we didn't move around a lot as kids.

I put it down to me being easily bored and having a lot of excess energy. Could you have a big project- that sometimes helps me. Like decorating the whole house or getting super fit? My friends laugh at me as I'm always doing something!

Currently in the process of moving and changing job

Decorating would be perfect but sadly we're renting. Tried fitness, doesn't work for me unfortunately.

I'm just like this too. I'm super itchy at the moment - constantly feel like I need to get a new job or move house (or have another baby 😬 which definitely wouldn't be ideal). I find status quo really hard, even though I'm very happy with my life. I also envy people that are satisfied; always looking for the next thing can't be that good. Wish I could slow down and just appreciate what I have...

I don’t, but a good friend of mine is just like you. She is 40 and has now had three successful careers in different industries, gutted and done up a farmhouse, married twice, had a child and moved area a few times - all in the last 15 years. I find it exhausting just thinking about it!
She definitely seems to get a buzz out of changing her life quite dramatically. She didn’t have a particularly unsettled childhood. She has a bipolar diagnosis though, with amazing highs and devastating lows. She is the most productive person I’ve ever met when she’s on a high - hence the ability to achieve so much and change her life every few years.

I find that even small changes can give me a bit of a lift and help to make me feel refreshed. Sounds silly when I write it down but things like discovering a new breakfast cereal, changing my running route, finding a new podcast to listen to on my drive to work.

Setting up a second sideline / business? That would keep you permanently busy, plus money.

Big 40th birthday trip to Aus / LA / Los Vegas?

Hi OP I am the same way but I have ADD or similar (being diagnosed) I moved jobs often, always to more stress, I build/renovate houses every other year. I’ve had a succession of big projects to sink my teeth into, it’s like I always need something to focus on.

However over the last year I’ve realised that I need to focus on being more settled as my usual way isn’t always what’s best.

So I am working on smaller projects for a while to see if that can work for me mentally. I plan my future holidays in like huge projects. I’ve done this before it took me 2 years to plan 5 weeks in 3 different countries with 4 generations of my family.

So this year I am doing something similar on a smaller scale. Maybe something like that could work?

I also find decorating/fitness just isn’t enough to keep me motivated.

I won't tell you what the next big change I'm planning is, if you have a husband and children it's not the most practical :D

It's difficult to make suggestions without knowing what you have done already and what sparks your interest. You could set a challenge to raise a certain amount for charity, or write a book, or learn something you always wanted to do, or set up a group for people with a shared interest or start a side-hustle type business or do some volunteering. There's a ton of courses available online on websites like skillshare or coursera etc that are very affordable. Start your own micro-brewery. Go on one of those immersion courses abroad to learn a language. Take a year out as a family to travel (once covid has settled down a bit).

There are off the top of my head, and in all honesty there's only a couple that would really satisfy me (for a while at least). But the ideas might spark something for you.

I’m like this too. We moved a few times when I was a kid and I don’t really know how to settle somewhere and make do with what I’ve got - I’m always looking forward to what’s going to happen next. Totally impatient. A friend described me as a rolling stone the other day - and yes, it’s because I get bored. I need a job that challenges me, which I have at the moment, but I’m already thinking about next steps and I’ve only been doing it for a few months!

No advice but following with interest!

Would it help to have a mental challenge? Study for an MSc or MA or a PhD. Write a book.

You say fitness doesn't work for you but would an endurance challenge work? Training for a marathon or triathlon?

I've always been like this, never settled, never stuck with anything, at my happiest when I'm on the move. I was diagnosed with adhd as an adult because my entire world was just crumbling around me and I couldn't cope.

I live abroad at the moment. Visa means can't set up a business, but that would fit the bill otherwise. Have learnt languages, got masters, written a book. Good ideas though, thanks for trying, lots on the right track.

I'm exactly the same after a very unsettled childhood. We moved yearly and I got used to that constant change.

I'm always after a project. We got a puppy last year which really helped for a while... but now I'm wondering what's next.

I’m like this (also a forces child and lived abroad as a child). Due to DH’s health conditions and DS’s schooling, we can’t move abroad but I’ll forever have that itch and it sucks!

If you could possibly swing it, take a few weeks out of your life to walk the Camino De Santiago in Spain. It can be life changing.

How old are your DC and what is your parenting and family life like? I have also been v busy (4 DCs, one SEN, multiple property renovations / builds across 3 different countries all at the same time, whilst working full time in demanding global corporate role, ran my own business, studied for a Masters, in 3 book groups again all at the same time, v highly scheduled DCs - loads of national level sports fixtures, v busy social life - exhausted just reading all of that)...however I now realise that despite my best intentions to give my DCs the best busiest exciting experiences and lifestyle - it was not possible for me to be as closely attuned to their subtle emotional needs as I needed to be.

I have now slowed right down.

Exercise (running, weights and yoga) have actually slowed me down and my focus now is on simplicity of the moment.

Lockdown has helped. I have regrets for how I chose to run our family when the DCs were younger.

Perhaps you need to consider the deep psychological reasons for this? If you were unsettled, then stability now doesn't feel natural? Have you ever had counselling? What would a counsellor say?