OCD is killing me

[OCDisruiningmylife]

That's just it really. I have suffered with OCD my whole life but I didn't realise what it was for probably over a decade of suffering in silence.

Over the years it has changed but it has always revolved around intrusive thoughts and I genuinely can't do this shit anymore.

I am getting meta cognitive therapy at the moment but I just feel like it's been going on for such a long time that it is just ingrained in me and is just a part of who I am. I have serious issues with feeling inferior to people and this is what my OCD seems to have latched onto now. I over analyse and over think every little detail in my life, every interaction I have with people is fucking exhausting.

I don't know where to go from here. It's so, so hard. I wish I could just switch my brain off for a little while.

I've reported the above post.

Keep going with therapy. Have you ever considered medication alongside the spoken therapy? SSRIs help some people.

@Stompythedinosaur

I've reported the above post.

Keep going with therapy. Have you ever considered medication alongside the spoken therapy? SSRIs help some people.

I have reported it too.

I am currently on Sertraline and although things have improved the thoughts are still there.

I understand what it's like, had intrusive thoughts particularly as a teen, think over everything I do and say to death. A lot of time away from people apart from those I'm entirely comfortable with is the answer for me - although I know that may not be possible. Also recognising that I am more comfortable as a listener and saying very little, but that what I say can be really helpful to others because I am such a deep listener. I think good listeners are pretty rare tbh and very under rated.
With the intrusive thoughts I realised that it was just my brain playing a trick on me basically, and just because I was thinking things didn't mean I was going to do them or had to do them. So now I don't worry about them - yes I could take all my clothes off and dance on that table - but I'm not actually going to so......

Hello I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. My DD has had some serious OCD and related problems in recent years and we finally went down the Fluoxetine route which is an antidepressant with success treating OCD.
The bit about turning your brain off or dialling it down is how our Psychiatrist describes Its effects. My DD says she can sometimes ignore her thoughts and urges now not every time but it’s really slowly helping.
Sometimes the brain needs chemical help to regulate and not all the talking therapies can help that part that’s how I see it anyway.
Hope this helps in a small way.

@Tal45 Thank you so much, what you have said is really helpful and Yes I could take my clothes off and dance on that table - but I'm not actually going to gave me a good laugh

OP you might want to look up Bryony Gordon, who suffers from OCD and has written books and done podcasts on the subject.

I always describe my OCD/intrusive thoughts/anxiety as like having my two halves of my brain fighting all the time- the rational/logical vs the anxious/obsessive. That's what I find exhausting as it seems more often than not that the OCD side wins. However, I am now on 30mg of citalopram and had 1:1 CBT which really helped in that it gave me tools to use. I also stopped watching certain TV (health anxiety was big for me), deleted some social media etc started crochet which is great way of concentrating on something else. I also was religious about self imposed rules. For me goigling symptoms for example was like jumping down a rabbit hole. So now family or partner will Google search something for me if I need it- such as good medication for sore throat. It sounds daft but it really helped.

You will find your way through this. And the logical will eventually win out.

Lexapro might work better op. It's really good for anxiety and giving you a 'eh it's probably alright' feeling. Intrusive thoughts are horrible, I really sympathise.

@OCDisruiningmylife

That's just it really. I have suffered with OCD my whole life but I didn't realise what it was for probably over a decade of suffering in silence.

Over the years it has changed but it has always revolved around intrusive thoughts and I genuinely can't do this shit anymore.

I am getting meta cognitive therapy at the moment but I just feel like it's been going on for such a long time that it is just ingrained in me and is just a part of who I am. I have serious issues with feeling inferior to people and this is what my OCD seems to have latched onto now. I over analyse and over think every little detail in my life, every interaction I have with people is fucking exhausting.

I don't know where to go from here. It's so, so hard. I wish I could just switch my brain off for a little while.

@OCDisruiningmylife OP are you OK? How are things recently?

I’m a therapist, fluoxetine and other SSRIs can be really useful to turn down the thoughts, CBT too. There’s a great book called “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” which is very helpful and user friendly.