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Really ashamed tw miscarriage

3 replies

knightinshiningwhatever · 09/05/2021 03:00

About a week ago I went out with DH and some friends to the pub. I wasn't drinking as I was pregnant. During the evening I felt increasingly unwell and I said I'd like to go home. He was just finishing up his drink when unfortunately my waters broke and I started having a miscarriage, I was only 16 weeks so it was horrific. a woman from the village we live in was staring at me and I know she was staring because she was doing that thing where you notice something and then do a double take and then can't stop staring.

I assume she was staring because it looked like I'd just pissed myself in a pub beer garden.

I know her to see her and have seen her around quite a lot, I feel so embarrassed she witnessed it all happening and I don't know whether to just brazen it out and let her think I pissed myself or tell her? We have mutual friends and this is a small village, everyone knows each other's business. I know by next week quite a lot of people will have heard about it, we were just telling people we were pregnant so not many people knew.

It's bad enough to have lost my baby without people thinking I just got so drunk I lost control. I don't want to go out at the moment because I'm afraid of bumping into her.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 09/05/2021 03:18

Flowers to you and DH. What a horrible thing to happen.

I would find a way to tell the woman. Don't assume she was thinking unkind thoughts, but if it sets your mind at rest, try to let her know what happened through your mutual friends.

Try to rest. Accept kind offers of help or companionship - don't be lonely through all of this.

Are you going to do any sort of little memorial ceremony to help you process the loss?
Some people light little candles, plant a rose or some other plant (forget me nots?) plant a little tree, put a little statue or birdbath in their garden, pace gathered driftwood, pebbles, or shells in a garden setting, or even on a beach where they will be washed back into the sea... If you're religious, you could have a little prayer service.

knightinshiningwhatever · 09/05/2021 16:18

Thank you. I think I'll try and get in touch with her. No doubt she will already have told a few people. I'm going to have a funeral.

OP posts:
AtoZed · 09/05/2021 17:23

Sorry for your loss. Be nice to yourself, you've been through an awful lot recently.

💐

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