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Basics of dealing with a period

80 replies

Advice54321 · 08/05/2021 19:39

At 37 I feel like I should know this stuff by now but since having my children my periods have got really heavy and I no longer feel like I’m doing it right.

So can you please share with me your tips on:

  1. I have to wear the largest tampon and a big pad to make sure I don’t leak through. Anything else worth trying?
  1. How to get out the shower and dry yourself properly without getting any blood on the towel.
  1. How to make sure you don’t get any blood on your bed, without fail I leak at least once every period. It’s so annoying!
  1. How to explain to your 3 year old why you’re bleeding. She genuinely seems concerned for me each time and I don’t know what’s the best thing to say.

Any other basic tips for managing a period would also be appreciated!

OP posts:
Orangesarenottheonlyfruit · 09/05/2021 10:40

I've just been to see a gynae as my periods have got very heavy and painful (I'm 42) over the last couple of years.
She's recommended I try the mirena coil, so I'm having one put in next week.
She said that periods can get very heavy and unmanageable as you get older and there's no need to suffer in silence!
Get yourself checked.

Looneytune253 · 09/05/2021 10:54

Why are people saying 'don't let dd see' surely that is so unhealthy? I personally go to the bathroom alone but I've never hidden it from my children and they've both grown up with really healthy attitudes to their periods and will discuss freely, even with their dad. My 10 year old tells an adult at school if she needs to and never had to have the big sit down chat with them at any stage (which can be very scary for them) and just talked honestly all the way through their lives

Houseofvelour · 09/05/2021 10:56

In regards to not leaking on the bed, I have always leaked horrendously so I bought the heavy overnight pants from modi body and use them with a bodyform maxi pad and it's dropped the leaking 😊

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happylittlevegemites · 09/05/2021 11:05

A mooncup (I tried a couple of brands, as the first was too floppy) and modibodi pants were a game changer for me. This makes things manageable.

The GP and gynae weren’t overly helpful. I’ve been scanned and biopsied, and told it’s “not peri-menopause but it’s because you’re getting older”. I’ve been given tranexamic (?spelling) acid which I thought wasn’t helping, until I stopped bothering with it last month !!!

sweetypop · 11/05/2021 23:44

@Looneytune253

Why are people saying 'don't let dd see' surely that is so unhealthy? I personally go to the bathroom alone but I've never hidden it from my children and they've both grown up with really healthy attitudes to their periods and will discuss freely, even with their dad. My 10 year old tells an adult at school if she needs to and never had to have the big sit down chat with them at any stage (which can be very scary for them) and just talked honestly all the way through their lives
I've always spoke openly to my dd regarding periods and bodies etc but at 3 years old it's scary for them to see blood. They associate blood with pain and are too young to understand... so seeing mummy bleeding is far more scary than the talk IMO
Serpenta · 11/05/2021 23:48

Download a period tracker app like Clue (they don't sell your data on) so you know exactly when to expect it.

OppsUpsSide · 11/05/2021 23:49

Trying to hide your period from your toddler of either sex is so fucking weird

Fixitup2 · 11/05/2021 23:51

1-3 mooncup
4 I don’t let my children see me empty my mooncup

Fixitup2 · 11/05/2021 23:53

@OppsUpsSide

Trying to hide your period from your toddler of either sex is so fucking weird
I think it’s weirder letting them watch you put your fingers up your vagina to empty a cup of blood then put it back up.
OppsUpsSide · 11/05/2021 23:57

I think it’s weirder letting them watch you put your fingers up your vagina to empty a cup of blood then put it back up.

Why?

Fixitup2 · 11/05/2021 23:59

Because you can teach your kids about periods without demonstrating

TopTips4TopTips · 12/05/2021 00:01

I've told both my kids (boy10, girl6) from the start what's happening. It's a normal bodily function, there is nothing to be weird about, I'd rather they are fully aware. Don't hide it.

OppsUpsSide · 12/05/2021 00:07

Because you can teach your kids about periods without demonstrating

You can also teach them to cook from a cook book without ever setting foot in a kitchen, but why would you

Fixitup2 · 12/05/2021 00:09

Maybe it’s because I have boys. I don’t mind them seeing pads but that’s about it. I just think it’s unnecessary

OppsUpsSide · 12/05/2021 00:13

I have girls and a boy, maybe my boy got a raw deal because he is the youngest

Fixitup2 · 12/05/2021 00:17

They also see the empty and clean cup, just not the actual emptying process. I also like the rare time to myself so like actually closing the door for a few days in the bathroom

Providora · 12/05/2021 00:20

My teen boys know all they need to know about periods because we have open conversations about it. They haven't missed out on an education because I prefer privacy in the bathroom when dealing with my horrifyingly heavy periods. They've been waiting outside the door since they were old enough - anything they saw when they were little is long forgotten.

avamiah · 12/05/2021 00:21

I have always just got on with it and never hid anything from my daughter who is now 11 and she actually can’t wait to start her period as so many of her friends have .In my opinion it’s best to be open as it’s no big thing .
As for having accidents on the bedding, just buy Vanish and the sheets are as good as new .
I have always used Tampons from my very first period as I didn’t like towels.I’m 48 now but 35 years ago the sanitary towels were bulky and uncomfortable, nowadays it’s totally different, the pads are so thin.
Hope I helped .

JackieTheFart · 12/05/2021 00:27

It’s been a while since mine were little but sometimes it was unavoidable to have them in public loos with me.

I used to tell them it was a bum plaster and nothing to worry about, it was just a lady thing and didn’t hurt.

Re the shower - I always put my mooncup back in before I get out, rinse again and then get out just to make sure.

Jayinthetub · 12/05/2021 00:28

Every sympathy OP. My periods have always been heavy like this and I have been reassured by a couple of loops of gynae consultants that it's normal. If it's a big change for you you should get it checked with your GP tho to be on the safe side.

My big game changer has been supermarket brand incontinence pads instead of sanitary/maternity pads. They are way more absorbent and so massive they make you feel well protected. They're the only things that work for me and I have been desperate enough to try using my dd's (clean) nappy before Blush

JackieTheFart · 12/05/2021 00:28

I’m having horrendous periods at the moment, combination of mooncup and period knickers seems to work well - if I bleed on the sheets I just wash them immediately and it’s never enough to massively stain.

avamiah · 12/05/2021 00:34

JackieTheFart,
What exactly are period knickers ?
I’ve heard of them, are they like Tena pull ups ?

Serpenta · 12/05/2021 00:39

Period knickers are absorbent, anti-leak, washable pants. There are a fair few different brands now, I think Modibodi were the first, and I noticed M&S have a range now too.

www.marksandspencer.com/l/lingerie/period-knickers

JackieTheFart · 12/05/2021 00:41

@avamiah not sure about the tena version but I have Thinx.

If I’m honest I don’t love them as they have a swimsuit sort of fabric on the outside which has that unfortunate whisking sound. But they’re great, I normally wear one overnight, take off and rinse through in the morning and then they are machine washed. They are quite expensive and the ones I have are a bit small for me.

EBearhug · 12/05/2021 00:54

I would agree that a menstrual cup definitely helps against leaks. There are loads of brands these days, so if one doesn't suit, another might. I found it took me till my second period with it to be really confident with using it. I do find that while leaks are less likely, on my heaviest days - it can still fill up, but you do get longer than with a super-plus tampon, so it's easier to manage, but there is still some risk of leaks if you go too long.

It's still a good idea to see your GP to get your iron levels checked, and to see if there's anything like endometriosis or fibroids or whatever going on. It can be helpful if you've hot some idea of flow, which it sounds like you have - how quickly you get through protection, any clots (and size), pain levels and anything else.

My GP said, "no woman in this day and age should have her life disrupted by periods, and there's a scale of treatments we can try until we're managing it." But other GPs are less helpful and will try to fob you off with all women go through this, it's normal, just live with it. If you have one like that, get another GP.

And I wouldn't worry about the 3yo - I wouldn't go put of my way to let her see it, but if she does, just give a basic explanation about how you're fine and it's a normal thing.