Help me decide when to do a degree

[Eachpeachpears]

I left education after my AS levels as I didn't know what I wanted to do and wasn't enjoying the subjects I had chosen. I've worked ever since.

After living a little, I now know I want to retrain in a certain area that requires a degree, one that would be part uni study and part placement. I need to do an access course first for a year to get onto the degree so in all, 4 years until qualified.

I have 2 young children, age 2.5yrs and 3 months. They would be 3 and 9 months when starting the access course. Funding isn't an issue thanks to student loans and grants targeted to people in my position.

My question is, should I do it now or when the youngest is in school which is quite a while to wait?

I spoke yo a friend who has done exactly the same thing who said the 12 hr shifts were difficult and she wishes she had waited until her children were in school. However, I don't see how it's any different to when I would be qualified and working? Night shifts etc are part and parcel so doing that as part of uni and when I'm qualified seem no different?

I don't want to miss out on the childrens formative years though.

DH is supportive in his words, but not really his actions. He says the right things. I just don't feel it from him.

I'm only 25 so I've got time on my side to wait, but I'm dying to do it sooner. The thought of doing my shitty dead end office job when I could be doing my dream job just makes me feel shit.
DH has changed career a number of times while we've been together and I've always supported and accommodated it, however he would like me to wait.

Please help me decided. Has anyone done similar?

Are you definitely planning to do the Access course in September? I would see how that goes to begin with as it'll give you a chance to see how much you enjoy studying. It'll also let you see how your childcare plan works out. I think it's actually easier to do stuff when children are small, you can put them in daycare at 8am and collect them at 6pm. Once they are in school the timings become more awkward and you might be looking at breakfast or after school clubs which can cost nearly as much as a full day at nursery anyway!

One thing I would say is that it's easier to keep studying once you've started. If you take a break after the Access course before your degree it can be quite hard to get back into the right mindset. I would be tempted to say once you've started, keep going! There's no ideal time to study with small children but if you wait there may be other reasons to stop you applying to university and it may never happen. Good luck!

I agree, it would need to be all done at once.
The options are doing it now or starting the access course (and follow with a degree) in 4 years.
I also think waiting brings more opportunities for things to stop me, but dh's argument is if that's the case then I don't want to do it enough in the first place.

I've waited until September just gone to start mine but I'm a single parent and also, my placements don't start until Year 2 (this Sept). My kids are currently in reception and pre-school so in September they'll both be in school full time. I've waited about 3 years for this but i felt it would be less stressful to wait until they are both in school and I'll only need to arrange wrap around care. For me, the concern was about them settling into full time nursery and also the potential constant sick days. But that's really because I'm totally on my own. You've got DH to help

He doesn't sound massively supportive, what are his concerns - money, childcare issues, the fact you'll be more independent after a degree?

You do have time as you are young but you sound like you're keen to get started. As you say, there will always be reasons not to do it so maybe you just have to make the jump - have you made contact with any colleges or been to open days to see what commitment would be required for the Access course?

I would do it now. It's much harder to work longer days when they are in school without a lot of flexibility. I did a PhD when my youngest was in nursery. It's manageable to work now that they are in school because dh and I both have a lot of flexibility, but if you'll be needing to do 12 hour days, unless you have lots of family support or wraparound childcare, definitely do it now.

I think dh is worried about money and how much it would take me away from the children. I don't want to miss their formative years and I'm struggling with the line between not missing loads and doing what I want to do too.
I'm leaning towards doing it now, I just don't want it to ruin our lives.
I think dh's opinion is slightly skewed by the fact his dad retrained when he and his sisters were younger and his parents then divorced after arguing over money etc