Normal toddler behaviour has broken me today

[NewMum0305]

My 25 month old- who is on the whole a delight but, like every two year old, has their moments - has had a lot of those moments today and for some reason, it has all gotten too much.

Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary - sweeping toys off the table at breakfast, doing the opposite of what I’m asking her to do, all very clearly to get a reaction.

Normally I try to find the balance between being firm and not making a huge deal out of something that is minor and feeding the desire for a reaction and on the whole, that approach works, but for whatever reason, today I just don’t have the patience for any of it. I have snapped at my daughter and even now, a couple of hours later, I don’t want to really be around her.

My DH has been great and just told me to take a break so I’m currently upstairs awaiting the sounds of her inevitable nap refusal (she’s going through a phase - am confident it’s that rather her dropping the nap).

I feel terrible as I objectively know she’s still so young and this is all bog standard toddler behaviour and so many parents have it so much harder with their little ones but I can’t seem to snap out of feeling thoroughly fed up with her today. I think the crap weather doesn’t help either.

Not sure what I’m looking for here but feel a bit better for just writing it down at least...

it is so hard sometimes. That's good your husband is letting you have a break.
One thing though, is it not quite common for 2+ yr old not to nap? I have a 20m old so I'm not there yet but I'm fully expecting no nap very soon! Fills me with fear because I really need a rest half way through the day!
Last night my boy cried going into bath, all the different toys in the bath after 10seconds of enjoying them, cried at the suggestion of coming out the bath, cried taking plug out, cried putting plug in. Me and my husband were going crazy lol some days it's just like that.

You've done exactly the right thing and taken a break from the situation, so glad to hear you have a lovely, supportive DH.
The toddler phase can feel bloody relentless at times. Funnily enough I was looking at toddler photos of my now adult DS and DD last night, it's amazing how my brain manages to completely block out that they were willfull, stubborn, patience testing little tyrants a lot of the time - I just saw sweetness and light in those photos 🤣.
It wears you down doesn't it? and some days you can cope with it so much better, you're just having a bad day. It doesn't help that life is nowhere near normal yet and it's feels like we're stuck in some kind of limbo land of it not being as shit as January but still not being able to fully relax. Plus the weather is awful pretty much everywhere today and that just makes everything feel that bit more crap.
Plough on through until after they've gone to bed and then breathe a sigh of relief that you got through another day of their tyrannical rule - you're doing great 🥰

Now I know I’m having a bad day as your kind responses have made me teary - thank you x

Some days are golden. Some days are a relentless grind where I want to shout “I don’t like vegetables/not throwing things/no/naps either!” and run away. (Lie, I hate naps.) The rainy weather isn’t helping; DD is being an arsehole because she needs to be taken out to run around and normally I would in the rain but it’s SO bleak where we are.

Hide for a bit. Get through it. Crack open an absolutely MASSIVE drink once she’s in bed. Order a copy of My Big Shouting Day. Tomorrow will be better. (Or it might be shite too so make sure there’s cake.)

Wait, I meant: lie, I love naps. Duhhhhhh

Toddlers are such dickheads sometimes. It's kind of like labour though, in a few years you forget the agony and only remember the good parts.

One of my friends described toddlers as soul suckers... there are days where they literally suck every fibre of your being from you! Teenagers do it too

Can you do something nice for yourself today and have a proper break?

Huge sympathy. I know it's pouring with rain across most of the country, but could you go for a walk anyway, maybe even grab a takeaway coffee tea? Your DH is right - you need a break, and sitting upstairs listening to him dealing with it, while better than nothing, isn't as good as getting out of earshot and getting some fresh air.

For what it's worth, my youngest is now 4 and it's a dream in comparison. Hang in there!

Thank you all so much. My husband put her down for her nap and she actually went down with minimal fuss and is still sleeping. I have had a cup of tea and some biscuits, and a cuddle with my DH, and feeling a bit more like I can face the “I WANT IT - NO I DONT WANT IT - I CAN DO IT MYSELF - NO MUMMY”s of this afternoon.

Thank you all again x

I've just packed DH and DS off out for a walk in the rain for similar reasons!

Ha! Solidarity Enjoy your break!

Toddlers can be complete utter terrors. It’s such a weird feeling, loving them so much but also that sometimes overwhelming ‘fuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkkkiiingggg hellllllll’ feeling which comes with the territory of having a toddler.

I had it the other night, just got too much. I got in the car, went to McDonald’s and got a McFlurry and sat in a car park and ate it. Alone. In silence. With no demands on me or my time or my patience, my body, my ears, whatever they want all the time.

Get some time to yourself, recoup, we all have bad days and it’s really healthy to recognise the bad days for what they are, just a bad day. There will be plenty of better ones x

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

Toddlers are such dickheads sometimes. It's kind of like labour though, in a few years you forget the agony and only remember the good parts.

Couldn’t of said it better myself . So glad your husband could take over for a while for you. Just remember OP this phase will end. When it gets bad, remember it is okay to give yourself space to recoup xx

I have a 28 month old. I've heard `muuummmmy" 500 million times today. He asked for Cheerios, I gave them, he threw them on the floor. He keeps taking clothing items off and throwing them at me. He's down to nappy as I type.
You have my solidarity

I can cheerfully tell you all I remember nothing, absolutely nothing, of any bad behaviour from my DC when they were toddlers.

I had four, they were obviously terrible sometimes.

Hang in there, and read the 'Cutted up pear' thread in Classics. It will make you smile.

Cutted up pear

What a brilliant thread - thank you @AuntyMabelandPippin. Funny enough one of the things that broke me today was my daughter asking for an apple, and when she saw me cutting it up saying, NO I WANT AN ORANGE, and then when I went to sort the orange, starting to whinge and shout as I was taking too long

And solidarity to everyone else - it does help to be reminded that others are going through the same thing too, and the need for a little respite is no bad thing!

I hope you've had a very large glass of wine. x

Snap! It’s so relentless isn’t it? You can do nothing right and everything is your fault 🙄

Our 2 year old has nearly broken the entire family today, must be the weather.. for a better day tomorrow.

Oh god we all have these days —most days—. I feel your pain. It is hard man. And dull. When it’s good it’s good but oh the rage that can come from the unreasonableness of young children. Glad you got a break

Thank you all, you are lovely. And I did indeed have a large glass of wine 🍷! Hoping for better toddler days tomorrow to everyone who had crappy ones today x

I could've written your post! 28 months and it's absolutely relentless. Missed out on a nursery place due to corona madness and DH works a lot so there are days where I feel my sanity falling apart after 13 hours without a break. Normally DH takes her for an hour or two on weekend mornings so I can sleep a bit longer but today she started howling mama and pounding on the bedroom door. Doing some major revenge bedtime procrastination now as I know it'll be the same thing tomorrow morning :(

Yes it's bog standard toddler behaviour but sometimes needing a break from it is also bog standard mum behaviour. Happens to us all. Sounds like you have a good DH who can take over when needed. You'll be fine OP.