I was a big surrogacy advocate until I started watching The Handmaid's Tale...

[thecatmother]

I am on season 2 at the moment and I am feeling absolutely heartbroken for her circumstances (trying not to give away the plot). On a more serious note, I have been considering myself as progressive thinking woman by supporting the surrogacy idea, now I am finding myself changing my mind. I feel that even if the child is not the woman's biologically, there's still a bond, for example, I didn't really care about my daughters biological provenance when I was in labour.
I have been supporting the positive that came out of the surrogacy, but now I am feeling that women are used as vessels and service providers and its rather ironic how a fictional story provoked that thought. I was also following Alec Baldwin's wife on Instagram and realised that she had a baby girl carried by a surrogate whilst she was pregnant with a boy, because they already have a lot of boys and only one girl in their family. It is just unbelievably crazy how little in touch with the real world that is.
I am much more comfortable with the idea of adoption, as those children would have been naturally with their mothers to start with, and unfortunately can't stay with them because of the mother's circumstances.

I think it can be difficult to separate surrogacy and the commodification of women’s bodies. I think instances with no negative consequences for the surrogate are few and far between, especially give pregnancy carries medical risks.

I used to be absolutely fine with surrogacy until I realised it was just basically rich people buying poor women's bodies

@Hopdathelf

I think it can be difficult to separate surrogacy and the commodification of women’s bodies. I think instances with no negative consequences for the surrogate are few and far between, especially give pregnancy carries medical risks.

I agree, I also think what kind of long term effects are there on mother's mental health. I only presume that you have to be reasonably young (ie under 35) to be a suitable candidate. The decisions that are made in whatever the circumstances might be , financial or emotional, almost already make that woman to be in a vulnerable position.

@LaurieFairyCake

I used to be absolutely fine with surrogacy until I realised it was just basically rich people buying poor women's bodies

That's how I feel now too.

I used to feel the same until I suddenly realised the ramifications of it all. It's not all cuddly, lovely stories of families getting much wanted babies... it's renting a woman's body and ripping away a baby from its mother.
Grim

@SleepyMama25

I used to feel the same until I suddenly realised the ramifications of it all. It's not all cuddly, lovely stories of families getting much wanted babies... it's renting a woman's body and ripping away a baby from its mother. Grim

Grim, indeed.

I'm an adoptive parent so I know the desperation and lengths people will go to to have a child.
I try not to judge people's choices but I'm slightly uncomfortable with surrogacy.

My only previous surrogacy experience was a story of a friend of a friend. The lady in question was recovering from cancer and couldn't have her own children, however she froze her eggs prior to treatment and her sister (a mother of 2) was going to carry the baby. Unfortunately the lady had died of a stroke before her sister had the implantation. There wasn't any money or pressure involved and all the family was very close.
I do realise now that it was and is a rare situation, when the surrogacy is helpful.

@gabsdot45

I'm an adoptive parent so I know the desperation and lengths people will go to to have a child. I try not to judge people's choices but I'm slightly uncomfortable with surrogacy.

I absolutely applaud you, it is a very hard job to be a parent. And especially an adoptive parent, the lengths and pure resilience that you need to become an adoptive parent is admirable.