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Original poster

Is there anything to be done other than just not go?

72 replies

MusicMenu · 06/05/2021 23:20

I have a small group of middle aged women friends who enjoy a social bike ride and lunch. Obviously we've done precious little of it recently, but are able to go again now under the rule of six for an outdoor lunch.

We're not quick like lycra clad racers, but we keep a respectable pace and most of us are sensible road users and considerate of drivers.

One of our number is not. She will pull out with out looking, overtake on bends, send abuse back when drivers tell her what they think. Riding behind her is terrifying. We've all tried pointing out the error of her ways, everything from gentle explanations to very forceful "discussions" taking things from the pov of her children losing their mother, how unfair it is to the group, how bad it makes us all look, nothing is going in.

In every other way she's a perfectly good person and a valued friend.

Is there anything we can do?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 07/05/2021 09:05

[quote Dobbyafreeelf]**@MusicMenu* for the cyclists maybe but not for other road users. And not for my poor client who ended up falling because I was late and unable to help her get to the toilet on time. I was late because I had to negotiate 5 bunches of morons on bikes each spread out far enough that getting past any of them was impossible. 15 f**g miles I was stuck behind them.

Cyclists should only be on the road in groups small enough to safely overtake. So in 2s or 3s max![/quote]
I absolutely agree with this. I have been stuck behind large groups of cyclists for miles and miles too. Very dangerous and frustrating and I agree that it should be illegal except in properly organised events where roads have been closed to allow for it. Pelotons do form.

Even a group of just 5 or 6 really can be too large to get past safely on most roads.

OP, if your friend wants to put herself at risk like that then there is nothing you can do to stop her apart from not having her in the group. It may well be safer to do that even though she won't like it. She won't do half of this stupid stuff if she cycles alone.

MrsTrumpDuTurnip · 07/05/2021 09:37

If it makes your decision easier, how would you feel if she causes an accident or death and you had to explain to the police how you had spoken to her about how dangerous you all thought she was on the road?
Don't be part of it

Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 14:05

@NiceGerbil and @FlyNow no I don't wish to start another thread. I came on here to discourage the op from cycling in groups. I hope she takes some on my points onboard!

@NiceGerbil you asked if the road was narrow was it safe to pass? No it wasn't which is why I refused to pass them until it was safe for me to do so when the road widened out. I was right behind them going into the narrow section which is nearly two miles long with a few car passing spots. They knew I was there but continued to enter the narrow section regardless. I patiently drove about 10miles per hour behind them and got abuse for it.

@modgepodge what has me riding horses got to do with it? I rarely if ever ride on the road. On the occasions that I do I always give way to other road users and am on the road for the minimum amount of time possible. Horse riders are far far easier and quicker to get past than arrogant cyclist rising in packs.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cycling
newnortherner111 · 07/05/2021 14:10

Go without her, or if that cannot be achieved somehow, not at all. Sad if the latter as cycling is good exercise.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 14:15

No comment on the deaths of cyclists who were probably not commuting then?

I see.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 14:16

Bottom line is they are way more vulnerable than you.

To say cycling should only be allowed for commuting is ridiculous.

Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 14:30

@NiceGerbil

No comment on the deaths of cyclists who were probably not commuting then?

I see.

@NiceGerbil I don't get your point? I've never denied that cyclists are not vulnerable road users. But being a vulnerable road user does not absolve you of behaving in a responsible and considerate manner. And no I don't think that roads are the right space for bike races and time trials. There are plenty of race tracks for that. I have no problem with cyclists riding in small groups for pleasure. 2-3 cyclist you can get past. 30 you cannot. Its dangerous and inconsiderate
modgepodge · 07/05/2021 16:41

[quote Dobbyafreeelf]**@NiceGerbil and @FlyNow no I don't wish to start another thread. I came on here to discourage the op from cycling in groups. I hope she takes some on my points onboard!

@NiceGerbil you asked if the road was narrow was it safe to pass? No it wasn't which is why I refused to pass them until it was safe for me to do so when the road widened out. I was right behind them going into the narrow section which is nearly two miles long with a few car passing spots. They knew I was there but continued to enter the narrow section regardless. I patiently drove about 10miles per hour behind them and got abuse for it.

@modgepodge what has me riding horses got to do with it? I rarely if ever ride on the road. On the occasions that I do I always give way to other road users and am on the road for the minimum amount of time possible. Horse riders are far far easier and quicker to get past than arrogant cyclist rising in packs. [/quote]
You said you were a horse rider and that horses on the road weren’t as disruptive as cyclists. That’s what it’s got to do with it. As I said earlier, I disagree that horse riders are easier to pass.

Leeds2 · 07/05/2021 16:48

I would arrange the next bike ride, and not ask her. If she finds out and asks why she was left out, I would tell her. If she tries to arrange a ride, just say no and leave the others to make their own decisions.
I would however also arrange a meal out, or drinks, or something not involving bikes to which she can happily be invited.

romdowa · 07/05/2021 16:55

Someone does need to bring it up to your friend that her actions while cycling are putting you all in danger and that you are all not willing to cycle with her any longer when she behaves like that . Just leaving her out is a bit mean without a conversation first.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 16:55

Horses are most definitely not easier to pass they can be unpredictable. That's why you go vv slow.

They often go 2 abreast round here.

There is nothing in the highway code saying cyclists on narrow roads should pull over to let cars pass.

You said should only be used for commuting, now you're talking about organised races!

Etc etc.

Branleuse · 07/05/2021 17:08

we've all been stuck behind cyclists (and buses and horses and learners etc), but they have every right to use the road. If youre frequently late because of other road users, then give yourself more time in future.

OP, I think a proper conversation has to be had, even if its awkward. If her cycling is unsafe and shes ruining it for the rest of you, then she has to be told not to act like that, or you wont invite her

Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 22:09

@NiceGerbil

Horses are most definitely not easier to pass they can be unpredictable. That's why you go vv slow.

They often go 2 abreast round here.

There is nothing in the highway code saying cyclists on narrow roads should pull over to let cars pass.

You said should only be used for commuting, now you're talking about organised races!

Etc etc.

@NiceGerbil I can assure you they are not!!! Would you like me to post my dash cam footage to prove the point?
Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 22:13

@Branleuse

we've all been stuck behind cyclists (and buses and horses and learners etc), but they have every right to use the road. If youre frequently late because of other road users, then give yourself more time in future.

OP, I think a proper conversation has to be had, even if its awkward. If her cycling is unsafe and shes ruining it for the rest of you, then she has to be told not to act like that, or you wont invite her

@Branleuse sorry but what??? As a self employed carer who currently has to work 7 days a week you are seriously suggesting that I should leave more time!!!!! Not possible!!! You can't just mess clients about because moronic middle age twats want a jolly on their bikes!!!
SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 07/05/2021 22:17

@Dobbyafreeelf That literally makes no sense. It's unfortunate your client fell because you were late for a job that isn't the fault of other legal road users (do you lame pedestrians who held you up while they walked across the zebra crossing). It sounds like you haven't left enough time to travel between clients if you only make it on time if the roads are totally clear.

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 07/05/2021 22:20

@Dobbyafreeelf

The issue here is that carers are underpaid if you have to work 7 days a week and you don't have sufficient travel time. It is definitely not the fault of other road users, what happens if there's traffic? Or a slow learner driver? Or an accident on the road? Or a tractor? It really is completely mental to blame people cycling legally on the road because you are overworked.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 22:24

Post some footage if you wish.

There is also stacks of footage of drivers doing stuff to cyclists like trying to run them over/ actually running them over/ punching them in the face etc. So I'm not sure what it will prove. That some cyclists are inconsiderate maybe. Like some can drivers are etc etc.

And I really don't think it's easy to pass two horseriders next to each other. I understood that with horses you should go really really slow so as not to scare them. And that as sentient animals they can be unpredictable.

Very odd.

You say least don't seem to think that cycling should only be allowed if you're commuting any more.

You're in a car. You might get slowed down a bit. It's annoying.

Cyclists get cars doing things that could cause them real damage all the time. Pulling out, driving too close, hit and runs etc.

Cycling is really good for you. It's no emission. It's a shame there's this weird hatred thing in this country.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 22:27

OP can I suggest a moped? They can carry a lot of stuff. They are better environmentally and brilliant for getting through traffic.

You can even get those ones with covers around so you don't get wet if it rains etc.

Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 22:27

@SaltAndVinegarSandwiches no there is plenty of time between clients. On a normal day I have a 10 minute break between arriving to clients and the time I am due.
I cannot change the times clients need certain medications etc. The routes are timed well and have worked brilliantly until the most recent changes in lockdown.
On Saturday alone I counted 114 cyclists on my four hour breakfast round. Most of them in groups. I live and work very rurally. If there is an accident there are usually other routes round. There is no escape from cyclists.

DuckonaBike · 07/05/2021 22:27

This sounds really difficult OP. Can you all sit her down and try and explain the behaviours that are really worrying you? Pulling out without looking is particularly dangerous.

I have some sympathy for your friend too - it’s easy to get fed up with the entitled attitudes of drivers who think they have more right to be on the road than you do, and this may be why she shouts at people. But it’s not worth being right if you’re also dead.

And as others have said, cycling in a group is generally safer than cycling alone.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 22:28

In short.

Tractors fine.
Low power mopeds fine.
Horses fine.
Milk floats fine..
Cyclists not fine.

Ok.

Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 22:28

@NiceGerbil

OP can I suggest a moped? They can carry a lot of stuff. They are better environmentally and brilliant for getting through traffic.

You can even get those ones with covers around so you don't get wet if it rains etc.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 a moped on Dartmoor are you kidding me!!!!!!
NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 22:32

You counted them?!

Blimey.

'If there is an accident there are usually other routes round.'

What is the point of this comment? I don't get it.

In the end it's legal. They do not have to pull over to let you past. They are way more vulnerable than you. They are doing something that is way better than driving.

Try living in London and getting round in a car. It is what it is. The roads are for everyone who is legally allowed to be on them. And that's that.

NiceGerbil · 07/05/2021 22:33

Oh I have a family member near there! There's nothing wrong with the roads as far as I remember.

Why is a moped a ridiculous idea?

Dobbyafreeelf · 07/05/2021 22:42

@NiceGerbil

You counted them?!

Blimey.

'If there is an accident there are usually other routes round.'

What is the point of this comment? I don't get it.

In the end it's legal. They do not have to pull over to let you past. They are way more vulnerable than you. They are doing something that is way better than driving.

Try living in London and getting round in a car. It is what it is. The roads are for everyone who is legally allowed to be on them. And that's that.

Being legal doesn't make it morally ok. If you had had the commutes I have had of late your attitude would be very very different. Most people round hear loathe cycling groups.

A moped would struggle to cope with the hills and funnily enough it's completely unprofessional to turn up soaking wet to clients. The weather conditions can change in an instant on the open moor. You would never fit all the ppe and kit on a bike. I also have two dogs which accompany me on my rounds at times what are they supposed to do run along behind.