I say argument, but my mum & I never actually argued or said a cross word.
Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the oncologist on Tuesday said he has 6 months at best (but told me privately that he thinks it will be much shorter). No treatment possible and the treatment for his other kidney cancer (separate type), was also discontinued.
We didn't get much chance to comfort him before he was whisked off and admitted for a possible blood clot and deteriorating kidney function.
My husband had the first day off in a week today, so we went to mum's. He suggested dropping some magazines off for dad, so took us to the hospital. Whilst talking to the nurse dad heard us and called out, so we were allowed to see him for a few minutes. He cried when he saw us and held mum's hands constantly.
My sister phoned whilst we were there. I gave the phone to him so he could speak to her. She told him that mum had won, that I'd stabbed her in the back and he started shaking. She told me it was unfair I'd seen dad and she hadn't (he was in hospital last month, she got to see him even though mum was refused entry). That we'd left her out. I tried to explain that it wasn't planned, and it was only due to hearing us that the nurse suggested we pop in.
I texted her on the way home, saying she could make an appointment and I'm sure he'd love to see her.
She was at mum's when we got there. She said I deliberately cut her out. She told my mum that mum wishes that she'd died instead of our brother, that mum killed my brother. That if dad dies it will be me and mum who is responsible.
She claimed I left her out of my brother's funeral, as people asked who she was (the only two people who didn't know her were two very close colleagues/friends of my brother's, who I knew socially). I wrote a poem for him and read it at his funeral. I gave my sister a poem so she had something to read. Apparently one of my dad's friends asked why she was left out of poem reading ?
She forgets that when we saw my brother in the chapel of rest she caused a scene as I wanted to see my brother alone but she insisted she had to be with me, same with mum & dad.
We are due our second Covid jabs (we had the first together). I had an appointment when my husband was off last week, but changed it for this weekend as she wanted us to go together, she now says I can get there myself (it is miles and not on a bus route and I don't drive), I wish I'd not changed for her.
I haven't argued with her, I tried to calm her, tried to cuddle her, but she won't talk.
I'm very, very stung. Dad has a limited time left and she's not thinking of him, only of herself, as if it's a competition.
I'm stung by my dad's friend and to be honest don't think I can talk to them again if they said what they did to my sister.
She said some unforgivable things to mum, but neither of us bit, both tried to concede, to assure her that she can visit dad... I feel like running away to be honest.