Just had another night of dreams about cracks appearing on the walls as my subconscious doesn’t do nuanced. DH tries so hard to be supportive and is doing so much but I’m putting the pressure on myself. My DM (84), fiercely independent, large house and garden, has been ill since having pneumonia at Christmas. She is getting better but there are underlying problems and she is now having a variety of tests. The person she would discuss everything with was her DS(82) and they phoned each other daily, unfortunately her DS committed suicide this week, it was not a shock and the daily phone calls had been one sided and about this subject for months, which has added to my DM’s health problems but it is very sad. All her friends are now dead, or suffering from dementia, my siblings are either abroad or dealing with very frail PIL themselves, we all FaceTime during the week for coffee but she really only sees me and my DH. Tomorrow there is a hospital appointment, next week more blood tests and, in the middle, a lovely lady who is beginning to look her age who I am doing my best to support while feeling guilty for not being there 24/7, even though I do all the organising, shopping and ferrying around.
Sorry, just had to put this somewhere, I adored my aunt when I was young, guess this wasn’t the time to come off my anti anxiety medication.