How long did it take for you to get use to working after having children

[user57754]

In fairness I have been working part time 3 days a week and found it fine as DH did most of the childcare.
Was offered my dream job 3 months ago but it was full time no negotiation. I took it and now I regret it terribly. My 'dream job' I was wrong about I am just completely over worked, over whelmed and spend my day highly stressed. I miss my children so much. Having four days off with them felt like a nice balance where I was with them more. I feel I'm wasting precious time that could be with them instead.

Hoping others will tell me it gets easier ?

Feel if I quit I'm throwing any chance of a career down the drain.

How old are your children?

I think once their in school it won’t be as hard for you as they’ll be out all day anyway.

I must admit I would find it hard, but my plan is full time when LO is in school.

Whilst children always come first, if this is something you’ve always wanted to do you’d be silly not to.

It is something I always wanted to do my part time job as nice as it was had no development.
My youngest is 2 my plan was similar to yours @Astronaut8 to wait until they were both school age. But this job came out of the blue and was such a good opportunity I felt I couldn't turn it down.

Can you say what industry you work in?

@Onesnowynight legal

I do it out of necessity as I earn significantly more than my partner. It does get easier. My youngest is starting nursery school in sept.

I still feel guilty but the only time it really gets me down is when other women tell me I won’t get these years back. Funnily enough my DH doesn’t get this at all and doesn’t feel any guilt about working FT.

Once they’re both in school I think the guilt will go and my eldest is 7 and her friends Mums, who are all SAHP or PT are really struggling to get back on the ladder.

I would stick at it op.
Have you been there long?

IME PT working damaged my career and earnings hugely. Wish had returned FT much sooner.

Would seek to identify the things causing your long hours and stress, and what could help. Eg the job being new, childcare challenges, sleep deprivation.

I would say I adjusted back after about 2-3 months. But the issue here sounds like you aren't happy with the job you've chosen, nothing to do with being a working mum. I love what I do and have never had any regrets, but being happy with your work is really key to that. I would ask to negotiate down to PT or be looking for another job/taking a career break.

I've been in the job 3 months now so I think there is an element of me getting use to it/learning the role. I am definitely overworked though as the company admitted they are understaffed and hope to take on again when the pandemic is over.

I think I do need to give it at least another 3 months. Today has just got to me in particular. I was in a meeting trying to hold myself together I'm not a crier but I could have burst into tears.

In terms of longer term planning though, I would say it's much easier to work when your dc are young and not yet in school. Full day nursery is easy to come by. Wraparound care and holiday care is not always easy to fill the gaps outside of school hours. So I wouldn't see waiting until they are school age to go back to work as making it easier (I think people just think that when they have small children because they can't imagine it could get harder).

It took me 4-6 months to get used to be back at work after maternity leave, but that was in a role I was familiar with. In a new role I'd say it takes me 6-8 months to feel like I'm not completely clueless. I'd say stick with it and it will get better, 3 months isn't long enough to give it a fair shot.

3 months is v early days. I find the first 9 months or so stressful after a job move.

You’ve identified a problem though with the workload. Would seek to set some boundaries and do what you can, not work crazy hours to try to do it all. Why are they postponing hiring, are they in financial trouble?

If the problems continue you could always investigate options elsewhere.