Many moments shone through when my eldest son was ill with cancer:
The first time I left the hospital (he was in for 6 months and I only left for 1 night every 12 days or so to see my other son) on the way back my car broke down. The lovely recovery lorry driver drove me the hour to the hospital and drove my car back to my home town garage. When he left me he gave me his card and said he would come and collect me anytime to go and retrieve my car. He also gave me his girlfriend s number in case I didn't feel comfortable ringing a strange man. I didn't take him up on his offer but his kindness was amazing.
When we took my sone to Dorset for a few days holiday. All he wanted to do was go kayaking. The woman at the centre said she didn't think it was possible ( my son had a brain tumour which had made him disabled and needed a wheelchair.) the owner came back at that moment. He took one look at my son,asked him gently about his illness and what he wanted to do. He said to us it was no problem. He had to ring the coastguard (I think) to just report that he was taking an ill child out. I'm sure it went against very health ans safety rule in the book. But we got my son in a wetsuit, my other son, me and the owner. We got two double kayaks down to the sea balancing one of them on the wheelchair. We had quite a following by the time we got there. We went out in the kayaks, we even got out and swam through a cave as that is what my son wanted to do. We had the most amazing experience. He treated my son as an ordinary teenager. He wouldn't let me pay. His own son, i learnt later had also had a brain tumour.
When my son,s glasses lost the patch on them I nipped into my local opticians to see if they had any of the tape. I wasn't with my son but explained what and why he needed it. They didn't have any in. We were not registered there. 2 hours later I got a knock on the door. One of the opticians had gone and got some tape, found out where we lived, came to the house and sorted my sons glasses for him. Only took seconds to fix but she had gone out of her way to get it.
The man who came to fit a stair lift for him. Jazzed up the eat for him so that my then 18 year old didn't feel too embarrassed to use it.
The people we bought his specialised wheelchair from.
They asked him his interests Lord of the rings at that time. They made some special mudguards for the wheels with phrases fromLOTR written in Elvish.
The school he was at went above and beyond to allow him to keep coming to school when he was able. He was included in everything that he could possibly do as school was his love. He loved the Ccf and his fellow cadets would carry him and his wheelchair over bumpy ground. The school hosted his wake after he died as there were so many people who wanted to pay their respects.
The girl who I met in a cafe and she got talking to my son. She came to our house regularly and did little jobs that I couldn't do - like getting on to the flat roof and clearing it of moss.
The many strangers who baked cakes and turned up at a bake sale my son wanted to host to raise money for cancer research.
The kindness of many, many mumsnetters who offered me, and still offer me, support during those times. The amazing Wooly Hug I received that summed up his life, I feel the love of every knit and stitch from complete strangers.
The many strangers I have met after his death who have been brave enough to ask me about my son and allow me to acknowledge him to people he never even met.
The immense love and support from family and friends without whom I would not have made it through and who continue to get me through it 7 years on. Their love, understanding and total selflessness have left me breathless at times. At the worst, blackest time of our lives many people, those we knew and complete strangers showed immeasurable kindness. Im tearful and thankful as I remember - often it's too painful to remember those times.