My eldest is six and her little sister is nearly 4.
6 is quite quiet in temperament (most of the time). She likes to read and draw and plays with her barbies for hours etc. She’s kind and considerate, really bright, but can be a little moody (and perhaps a bit prone to the dramatics - lots of flouncing when she’s tired etc).
3 is a bigger personality, if I can put it that way. She’s very sweet and affectionate but she talks nineteen to the dozen and is quite in-your-face, demands a lot of attention etc. She was a wild toddler but is a bit less so the older she gets. I accept she probably is quite a dominant personality in our house.
I love both my girls to the ends of the Earth and recognise that they are different people. I am so keen for them to be close (as I am with my sisters). And I think they are - they generally play well together, they will bicker of course but they are kind to each other. They share a bedroom (by choice - they begged for bunk beds). I don’t entertain any talk of competition between them and I bend over backwards to treat them fairly as far as I can. I try to spend time with both of them on their own but most of the time we are either all together or we are all at work/school/nursery.
Six has recently been very moody and seems to be very angry with me. I keep asking and asking what’s going on but she mainly just glowers or flounces off to her room. This has been worrying me but I couldn’t get anything out of her.
I don’t work on a Wednesday and so it’s just me and three at home (well DH is here but working from home). Well this morning it all came to a head. Six was awful all morning. To me and her sister. Shouting and angry, wouldn’t get ready for school etc. DH walked her to school and had a chat with her and out it came. She hates that four gets to stay at home on a Wednesday. She never gets any time without four. Four is my favourite. Four never leaves her alone etc etc. I feel so sad that this is making her feel like this. She could not be more wrong. Of course I don’t have a favourite.
To explain, I dropped my days to 3 per week when DD1 was born and upped them to 4 last year during the pandemic. So six has had the benefit of this time with me (in fact more) it’s just that now she has to go to school 🤷🏻♀️ This has all been explained, and she’s been told there are no favourites, we love you both so much but just the same etc etc.
I do try to spend time alone with six from time to time but it’s difficult to do this regularly. Four gets upset if we go somewhere without her and doesn’t like to be left out, and also even when six and I do spend time alone together she still doesn’t seem happy (example - we were both off on Monday for the bank holiday. I put 4 into nursery so I could have some time with 6 and we had a trip into town and a nice lunch - this was what she wanted to do. I thought she’d had a great time and when she got home she said “that was the most boring day ever”) I cannot win! But she seems so angry with me so clearly I am doing something wrong.
It feels like she hates me. Sometimes she will say things like “I wish you would disappear” and then she cries because she feels bad.
To be honest time alone with my mum wasnt a thing when I was a child and I can honestly say it never put me up nor down. I do try to give six her alone time but maybe I need to work harder at that. I’m just at a bit of a loss.