Did you have a baby in the early 1980s?

[biscofftruffle]

My mum died over twenty years ago so can’t ask her. I’ve recently had a baby and I’m wondering how our hospital experiences might have compared (obviously I know no one can tell me what it was like for me personally!)

Were babies kept with mum?

How long were you in hospital? I was born via c section.

Was breastfeeding encouraged? I don’t think I was breastfed for long.

Were dads present?

At home, were babies put in their own rooms?

Where did you buy things like prams and cots?

@biscofftruffle

My mum died over twenty years ago so can’t ask her. I’ve recently had a baby and I’m wondering how our hospital experiences might have compared (obviously I know no one can tell me what it was like for me personally!)

Were babies kept with mum?

How long were you in hospital? I was born via c section.

Was breastfeeding encouraged? I don’t think I was breastfed for long.

Were dads present?

At home, were babies put in their own rooms?

Where did you buy things like prams and cots?

I had a baby in the late '80s but I don't think things had changed massively.

Were babies kept with mum? - Yes, although some mums did put them in the nursery if they wanted to sleep. Not sure why because the other babies woke them up anyway.

How long were you in hospital? I was born via c section. - I had the option to stay in for four days, but everything was okay so they discharged me after two. I think the stay was a week for a CS.

Was breastfeeding encouraged? I don’t think I was breastfed for long. - Yes, I BF DS1 for about 15 months.

Were dads present? - Yes, but after the delivery they could only come at visiting times.

At home, were babies put in their own rooms? - Hell, no! I guess some people did but this, but I don't know anyone who did.

Where did you buy things like prams and cots - OTTOMH, Debenhams, Adams, Mothercare.

I just asked my mum (I was 1980 born)

"In Southampton hospital where I had you, babies were kept beside mum, I spent 3 days there then 7 in a cottage hospital in Hythe

In Hythe mums had babies at bedside in day but we did a 10pm feed and change then put babies in nursery for the night

Mothers were woken for a 2am feed regardless of whether baby needed it or not
You never needed it but they still forced me to wake you and try

Breast feeding was encouraged and bottle feeding frowned on

Dads were allowed but I had my mum with me

You were in cot in my room at night and in a carry cot downstairs in living room in day

I bought second hand stuff from newspaper ads and from relatives also some stuff from neighbours and jumble sales"

I'm so sorry you're not able to ask your mum OP we sound a similar age as I was born in the early 80s.

My mum was in for 10 days, no complications, she says this was the norm - they were encouraged to stay in bed and rest, and given a lot of help/advice on feeding, bathing etc. She says she had planned to formula feed, but was given a lot of support with breastfeeding (she says not judgemental, just encouraging) and she had so much milk she decided to give it a go - infact she had so much milk she expressed a lot to be used by the neonatal care unit, she even kept this up for a while at home! She fed for 9 months, she says once I had teeth that was it, although as solids were started at 4 months apparently it was quite a long time to feed. Feeding was strictly 4 hourly and 10 mins per side only, she had always found me feeding on demand and breastfeeding toddlers really strange as she said it just wasn't advised when she had children.

Dad's were allowed, my dad was horrified by the whole thing and apparently went home halfway through convinced they had left the grill on, and arrived back not disappointed to have missed most of it

She says the babies were taken at night to the night nursery but I cried so much (apparently I was a terrible sleeper) she went to find me, and took me back with her, then had to stay awake holding me for most of the night, so not very restful! I was a summer baby, but she says they were advised to wrap babies warmly in a blanket despite the heat and put on their stomachs to sleep, so different from now.

She says they got pram, cot etc second hand - pram was a big old-fashioned solver cross type thing, I can remember my brother in it. A lot of stuff was shared round the family, I have a lot of cousins a similar ages, so someone would have the cot of a few months, someone else would borrow it, then it would eventually come back for the next baby. Apparently she shared maternity clothes and even nursing bras with her sister and sister in law, not sure how this worked as they're all very different sizes! She was in a one bed flat when I was born so I was in with her and my dad until they moved.

Wishing you all the best with your newborn.

I had my baby 1985 , we were in hope for 5 days as he was jaundice and had to sleep under special lights, I bf for a year, baby was with me except when under the lights in the nursery , stayed in my bedroom at home, bought most stuff from John Lewis and some from a mothercare

I was born in London in the early 80s. My mum was kept in for a fortnight but had lost a lot of blood (around 3L) after a bad birth and didn’t have a transfusion (she and my dad were worried- correctly as it turned out- about HIV and blood products). Because of this she didn’t have me with her all the time, I went to the “nursery” and was looked after there at night. She did EBF me though (the midwives would bring me to her at night) which was considered a bit hippy back then and which the midwives and doctors tried to encourage her out of as she had lost so much blood. She fed me (and then my siblings) until two though. Says she used to get a lot of funny looks out and about as no one else seemed to be doing it. Even my gran, her mum, tried to talk her out of it, saying that formula was basically better than breast milk because of all the added vitamins etc.

This is a lovely thread. Is 1988/91 too late? I don't want to clutter it up with irrelevance (i will just read!)

I was a prem baby born in the late 70s. My DM breast fed briefly but then bottle fed. She was advised to feed every 4 hours, but said I was always crying.
When I had DD, she was amazed at the advice to feed on demand, or every 2 hours and she felt really guilty thinking back that I probably cried a lot because I was hungry!

My first child was born in 1984. I was in hospital 6 days, baby with me, encouraged and helped to breast feed, shown how to bath baby.

Second child born 87, two nights in hospital, but second night only because baby jaundiced. Encouraged to breastfeed.

I followed all my health visitors advice as totally inexperienced. Babies in our room for at least three months. First baby slept on tummy but advice changed by the time second child born. I breastfed for about nine months each time but stopped as baby drinking from a cup by then (and I disliked breast-feeding)

Most of our equipment came from mothercare.

DH and I are early 80’s babies, my mum was definitely encouraged to use formula. MiL was adamant she wanted to BF, and did for 4 children. 6 months each, then on to cows milk.

My two were bf for a year each, she likes to say we did the same time

My 2nd was 1980, born in a Middle Eastern country , 4 days in hospital (British matron and a lot of U.K. staff) would have been longer but I was discharged to make room for a local woman who I was told ‘wouldn’t be able to look after herself’ (presumably because of lack of proper sanitation at home). Dh was allowed to be with me, but sent out at the 11th hour because of a forceps delivery. TBH by then I couldn’t have cared less anyway. He was back right after the birth.

Shared a twin room with a local woman who ticked off this clueless foreigner (me) for the way I dressed my baby before discharge - grabbed her from me, tutting loudly, and swaddled her very tightly in the shawl like a little mummy!

First was in U.K. in 1977, a week in hospital, babies stayed with us IIRC, 4 hourly feeding if normal birth weight, incidentally it worked absolutely fine for us - 6, 10, 2, 6, 10, 2. I don’t recall being pressured about feeding one way or the other - chose to BF and had no problems with it.
No fathers at the birth then, my DH was an 8 hour flight away anyway, no family was with me but despite a fairly difficult birth I was fine. Wouldn’t have wanted my DM anyway, we got on well but she was always an anxious, very squeamish type. Dh arrived before I left hospital, all tanned and bearing a huge bunch of flowers. 🙂).

I had babies in 77, 79, 81
Babies went into the night nursery so we could sleep
Yes breastfeeding was encouraged
Yes we stayed for about a week
Yes dads were present if they wanted to be, could stay with you through Labour as well
Yes my children went into their rooms
Mothercare for pram S
Mine was a marmet. A soft bodied oblong that was surprisingly roomy, and did all three
It was a maternity hospital.
It grew its own veg
I noticed with my last child the food wasn’t quite as good.
Obviously things were changing
It closed completely ten years later.

This was like my marmet pram. It cost £80 and was a proper workhorse
My cot was white with a drop side and was £40

A few years after my family was complete I was horrified at how much all the new models were costing and wondered how people were going to afford to have kids
Well 44 years later the human race didn’t die out and it actually wasn’t the cost of the equipment it was the horrifying cost of child care that far outstripped it.

Interesting thread, thank you for starting this OP.

I was born in the early 90s and some of the things my Mum tells me just horrifies me tbh. MIL is the same so it wasn’t just my Mum, seems it was genuinely the advice. We were weaned at 12 weeks and neither of our Mum’s breastfed- they both told us it wasn’t encouraged because formula was so easy... My Mum put baby rice in my bottles from 6 weeks to help me sleep . When we were weaned it was on absolute shit as well, MIL was saying just the other day that DH would only eat chocolate mousse so at 3 months old he was eating bloody chocolate mousse! My Mother has said similar, she loves telling me how much I loved sausages and chips as a baby.

Also always on our fronts to sleep, they considered it safer at the time incase we vomited. Scary. My Mum still thinks you can spoil a baby by holding them too much as well which is just horrible.

My DSs - born in 1983 and 1984, in Newcastle, Geordies!
First time mums stayed in hospital for 5 - 7 days for a vaginal birth. Second time mums could leave if they wanted to after 3 days, but were encouraged to stay for 5. If you had a C section - no matter if you were first timer or not - it was 10 days.
Fathers were present at birth.
Newborns often spent the first night in the nursery, especially if the birth was traumatic.
Mum had to have 3 baths a day - I salt, 2 savlon.
If the mum hadn't moved her bowels by day 2, senna was issued.
Breast or bottle, they didn't mind as long as you were happy. Lots of support for breast feeding. I breastfed DS1 until he was 9 months old. My 'D'p refused to let me bf DS2.
Mothercare and Boots is where most folk bought their proms etc from.
In hospital, all the babies used cloth nappies.
My DD1 was born in 1987 and things were starting to change. You could go home after 2 days, there were less staff and the baths were done away with. Disposable nappies were being used.
DS3 was born in 1990. Expected to leave the day after the birth - if the birth was before 12 noon, you could go home the same day, pretty much no support for anything, disposable nappies were rationed.
My last child was born 1998, and it was pretty much the same as in 1990.

I’m sorry about your Mum. On the buying baby stuff point, I was recently putting together a “guess the baby” game and asked everyone for photos (all born c.1980-82), about 5 of us were pictured in the exact same bouncy chair 😅

I was born in 83.

My mum didn't want to breastfeed, she wasn't encouraged and was given tablets to stop the milk production.

Were babies kept with mum?
I was a midwife when I had DCs in 1979 & 1981; you had the choice of having your baby with you or in the nursery. Generally the baby was in the nursery at night.

How long were you in hospital? I was born via c section
10 days first, 7 days second. 10 days if CS.

Was breastfeeding encouraged? I don’t think I was breastfed for long
Yes definitely the ‘Breast is Best’ era, often babies had ‘top up’ feeds of formula.

Were dads present?
Yes if normal delivery, no if CS/forceps etc

At home, were babies put in their own rooms?
Mine weren’t, not until they slept through the night. I don’t know anyone who put their baby in their own room from the start.

Where did you buy things like prams and cots?
Not a great deal of choice other than specialist baby shops that sold everything. Definitely no online shopping!

When DB was born (1978) it was the thing to allow babies and mums to stay in hospital for a few days. She was in her own room for almost a week. The baby was taken away and cleaned up then handed to her.

When I was born (May 1980) it had all changed. She was in and out the next day or same day. She was most disappointed! Also it had become the thing to put the baby on the mothers chest as soon as it was born for contact. She said I was sort of handed to her, not cleaned up, and I think she found that a bit much, can't remember how she described it but it was something like that.

I was low birth weight (smoking in pregnancy was common) and spent 2 weeks in an incubator. DM went in daily with expressed breast milk from home.

My Dad was at DBs birth, maybe as he was first? It was quick too. With mine he was at work! Only found that out last week. He worked 20 minutes away! Cheek. Mine was longer birth though.

I guess everything came from Mothercare and hand me downs. DM used to wake at night and breast feed me on the sofa. I definitely was in my own room before 3. It was actually a bed in a converted airing cupboard that had the boiler cupboard in it, but I was only tiny so wouldn't have known but I do remember it! We moved after that.

Had my DD in 1984. Was in hospital a week. The babies were kept across the hall and the nurse would come and fetch us if they cried. I was given sleeping tablets the first two nights so I could get some rest. I guess the nurses fed her. Breast feeding was barely mentioned. A couple of mums on my ward were breast feeding though and I remember one of them kicking off as she was having difficulty getting it established and the nurses had given her baby formula in the night rather than wake her.

One time I was told my baby was crying so went across to the crying baby only to discover when I changed the nappy that it was a boy, someone had moved the cribs round. Had to read the name tags to find DD.

Literally everything was provided by the hospital and we weren’t allowed to dress her in her own clothes until we took her home, which we did with her wrapped in a blanket on the bus!

I was born by section in the mid 80’s. My dad was allowed in but got sent out when he started looking a bit green. I was whipped away as soon I was born.
I was brought to mum to be fed and taken away again so mum could rest. Mum thought she could hear me crying and when she came to look a nurse was giving me a bottle - hadn’t asked mum cause she was meant to be asleep. I was mixed fed from then on. She stayed in 8 days but could have stayed longer.

DB was born in 78 and I was born in 81. My mum says DS was kept with her and stayed in 7 horrendous days (little sleep, babies by beds in 4 bed wards so crying a lot). Demonstrated how to bath baby, breastfeeding demonstrated and encouraged. Cot, pram, buggy bought from Mothercare.

I was born 81 and mum came home the next day, when I'd pood apparently. Also breastfed. She couldn't wait to get out as she often tells me (from that prison!).

Apparently both DB and I co slept with mum, and were moved out to our own rooms around 6 months. Both breastfed. Not a huge amount of difference with my own DCs, except she put us to sleep on our sides.

South of England if that makes a difference.

Hi OP. sorry your mum is no longer with you.

I had my DC in 1979 and 1982.

Dads encouraged to be present both times.

Both births normal. Enema and episiotomy routine (latter excruciating painful). Babies stayed with us during the day but I think were taken to the nursery overnight. All baby clothes and (cloth) nappies were provided by the hospital. I was in hospital for a week the first time, 5 days for the second.

We were encouraged - rather half heartedly- to breast feed. In 1979 none of the “second time” mothers were breast feeding and went straight to a bottle. I fed both mine for 4 months, as recommended then.

At the hospital in 1979 there were 2 maternity wards, one of which was for smokers (!!!!!).

At home first child had own room right from the start. Carry cot and cot from Mothercare. Carrycot was held in place in car by straps, very insecure. Child seat in the car from about 9 months, but I don’t think these were mandatory until some time in the late 80s.

Enjoy your baby

My children were born in 1985 and 1987.

Were babies kept with mum?
Yes on the whole - they once took my older son into the nursery because they felt I wasn't relaxing and said they would bring him to me when he cried.

How long were you in hospital? I was born via c section.
I was in 5 days with my first and 2 with my second. Five days was longer than average - he was a forceps delivery but I don't know if this was the reason. I think my friend who had a caesarean was in for 10 days.

Was breastfeeding encouraged? I don’t think I was for long.
Yes it was, but when I struggled with my first latching on one of the nurses gave him a bottle. I didn't really want her to, but felt I couldn't object.

Were dads present?
Present for the birth but then could only visit at visiting times - no dads on the ward at night for instance.

At home, were babies put in their own rooms?
No, in with us for the first few months - everyone else I knew with babies did this too.

Where did you buy things like prams and cots?
Mothercare - I got a second hand high chair out of the paper though.