My mil is dying, in Australia, feel so helpless

[Veuvelily]

She doesn’t really have anyone
She’s just come out of hospital, back to her residential home, from what should have been a simple op but she had lots of complications
She’s in pain
She’s in nursing care now in the home
She’s a no nonsense, no fuss type of person, she paid for her funeral plan long ago. She has told me that she wants no-one there. She wouldn’t want me to drop everything and fly over there but I feel so guilty doing nothing.

She just had one son, my husband, he died 5 years ago and she’s been ready to go since then.
We did see her every year until the pandemic hit

Thats so hard op when you feel so far away.

I’m so sorry, what a horrible situation to be in. Can I just clarify are you in Australia or is she? I’m not 100% of the rules I know Australia are being super strict with their borders but I wonder if there are exceptions such as situations like yours? Sending lots of love ❤️

Gosh I’m so sorry.

Take comfort in the fact that her dying and you not being there is what she genuinely wants.

can you face time her regularly? Are there any local charities who might be able to visit her? Maybe who can help with video calls as well as being an additional companion?

So sorry OP, what a heartbreaking situation. Is there nobody there who would go and see her on your behalf ? In your place I probably would try to get there but I don’t know what the Covid rules are. Possibly entry restrictions and quarantine ? It may not be possible to be there.
Can you do facetime calls ?

I'm so sorry, what an awful situation. Would you be able to go (barring any entry restrictions - and I'm sure there must be waivers in place for situations like this) if she did want you there?

I'm sorry to read this. But as a Nurse in a Nursing Home please be assured that she will be well-cared for and kept comfortable and the Nursing staff will endeavour to be with her when the time comes. Sending you a hand-hold. x

Oh love.

I have a friend who is in Australia on compassionate grounds at the moment... her flight was around £850, and her quarantine has cost her about £1500 for 14 nights in a hotel with all food provided... it's a weird one, she didn't get to choose the hotel or anything, but she's very happy to have made it home. Just incase any of that helps with deciding if it's an option for you...

I really feel for you ❤️

I’m so sorry, we’ve just had a similar situation but family in Aus & relative elsewhere.

The policy Australia have taken has just devastated a lot of families.

She’s in Australia, I’m in UK
There is some sort of exemption you can get to bypass quarantine, but there’s a lot of red tape

Her nurse has said she’s too frail and weak to work the phone , I could ask her to sort FaceTime, but that might be traumatic for my son and I can imagine her refusing cos she wouldn’t want us to see her in a bad way.
My son Is 13, he’s been looking up flights. I have prepared him for this, but I thought we had more time. Her hospital procedure just had so many complications

I’ve contacted a couple of my husbands old friends who are over there. One guy has been really lovely, he’s visited her quite a bit and should be able to go this week

That is nice of him. Would he be willing to video call you while he is with her if at a reasonable hour? My dc (similar ages) saw my father a number of times on video before he died and although it is upsetting it is more because he was really ill than because it was by video. Also being at home he can just pop in for a few minutes rather than sitting for hours by her bed. I think it helped them to process it all.