GP prescribed mirtazapine under psychiatrist’s guidance two years ago for anxiety complicated by OCD and PTSD . It helps me sleep, I feel drugged up most of the time and ever so slightly less anxious . GP won’t allow me to come down on it, says it’s essential I take it - no safe alternative as I’ve had a serious reaction to sertraline, citalopram and duloxetine - they don’t want to change it again .
Dose was increased in September to 30mg as I was having panic attacks . Also put on beta blockers and threatened with an antipsychotic too if things didn’t settle . Since then I’ve gained a stone in weight . I was morbidly obese to begin with .
I’ve also got PCOS which is going untreated (no meds) as
as told there isn’t any nhs help . Best friend is a GP and has pointed out dozens of times they should be prescribing metformin and checking for T2DB but my GP has said not needed .
My family continually point out how fat I am - in a horrible way, call me the ‘elephant in the room’ and say it’s my fault for taking medications - ‘if you stopped them you’d feel much better’ .
GP has said to religiously control everything I eat, calorie count every meal, track steps daily - says that’s the only way I can start to lose . I’m scared if I start it’s going to get to being an OCD ritual .
My diet isn’t great, I eat a takeaway once a week (more out of tiredness and lack of motivation to cook) and eat far too many biscuits, sweets, cakes and mayo . I comfort eat and hoard food .
Being so fat and anxious exercise is a nightmare too - I can walk about 3 miles but end up in agony with knees and ankles afterwards . I usually do 1.5 miles a day which probably isn’t enough . I’m thinking about trying to swim when the pool opens next week but I’m scared - too many ‘beached whale’ comments as a child .
GP said there is no NHS help - it’s a case of me being much stricter and forcing myself to walk more . I’m getting some therapy for the mental illness side of it, and she’s encouraging me to do gentle walks for enjoyment and eat for fuel rather than for comfort - but I don’t know if that’s enough?