How much do you spend on birthday presents for their friends?

[Lottielovescake]

The situation seems to be getting more and more complex with every party that comes around. Tell me wise women of Mumsnet, do you have any tips for getting it right with birthday presents? Do you have a set amount you spend on every child in the class’ birthday? Would you buy a present for a child if they weren’t friends with your child but you are friends with their mum? Does that depend if they invite your child to their party? What about if they didn’t have a party at all but are friends with your child? Do you spend more if they bring a big present for your child on their birthday? Do you buy bigger presents for closet for friends? Would you spend the same amount on a present for a child having a gathering in the local park and the child who invites yours to an expensive day out/ big celebration? It’s such a minefield!!!

Never spent more than £10 or 10euros. Exception being sleepovers, where I've spent 15euro or so.

None have been fancy day out style parties yet with no parties for the past year.

(For my child's parties, most presents have been around the 5-10euro region. Odd present more expensive.

When ds was of an age for parties, it was £5 if they invited him. As a teen he very rarely goes to anything, but it would be £10 in a card. Everyone treated the same, nothing if he's not going to something birthday related

£10ish for ‘just’ a classmate, up to around £20 for a close friend.

DS is 7 & this seems to be the going rate for pretty much everyone - Lego sets are popular (so I’ll often buy a few & stash when I see a good offer) but a tenner in a card is becoming more popular too.

This year we’ve given gifts to school friends even when no parties happening, before that it tended to be whole class parties anyway.

But really, just give what you can afford and want to. It’s the gesture that is important.

Also £10 in a card here, unless it is a really close friend and I know what they’re into, would still aim for £10 gift, would go a little over.

I usually spend £10-15 including card and wrapping paper. I might spend a bit more if it was her best friend and she wanted something specific

£5 - £10 for a class mate and a bit more for a close friend so we could get something with a bit more thought.

DD left primary school a few years ago but I would only ever buy a present if she was invited to a party/get together/sleepover or other celebration and spend between £5-10 usually, or up to £15 for a close friend.

£10 for general classmates and friends (or gifts that were £10 individually - I used to do 3 for 2 at Argos when DS went to lots of parties in primary) but £15ish for close friends

I do cash now as it works out cheaper than driving to get present and wrapping it and it always goes down we'll with the child. £10 if invited to a party. Bag of sweets if very close friend and no party. £15 if very close friend and party

£10 but only if invited to a party

Best friend, £20. For party invites was less and would depend on the venue. If the host had paid for an activity rather than home party we would spend more.

Something that looks like £15 but is hopefully nearer £10. Only if invited to a party unless best friend and not having a party.

I think you are over complicating it or writing an article.

Literally take it as a case by case thing!

Friends that I’m friends with, would probably pick a gift that I know they’d like.

Classmate having class party, £5 in a card if over 8. If under 8 would choose a gift.

Close friend inviting just a couple of friends. £10 and a token gift.

@4PawsGood

Something that looks like £15 but is hopefully nearer £10. Only if invited to a party unless best friend and not having a party.

I think you are over complicating it or writing an article.

Yes I wondered the same thing

When the dc were tiny and got loads of whole class invites I spent £5-7 pounds. I would look out for toys on offer that looked like they had cost a bit more and I would buy a few of the same for future parties if I found something good.

Now they are more tween age parties are much fewer and I probably spend £10-15.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I’ve been spending the same on all birthday presents for their friends so far (roughly £15) but have noticed others don’t. There seems to be an expectation of a bigger present in certain circumstances, such as if they’ve paid for an expensive activity. I went to a birthday meet-up in the park the other day and took a £15 present and felt like I’d gone overboard as others had brought tiny gifts.

£20 in a card is our standard present!
Unless the dc want to choose something specific, Lego set/makeup item or something like that.
No difference according to where or what the party is.

Usually used to have a £20 limit when they were at each other's parties every weekend but now that they have smaller friendship groups we say £30 upper limit.

I aimed for £5 when I could get things in the sale! Realistically, £5-£10 if invited to the party, at primary school. If a good friend then party is a given (except during Covid, when we still did presents for good friends) and I would spend £10-£15, but only on something they know their friend will like, not a bit of tat. I don't buy presents if there's a party and my child isn't invited - why would I?

£10-£15 for parties.
As they get older the parties stop and so does the gifting.

@aliloandabanana For example, a girl we know had a family only party, then invited my child to go to the park with her the next day “for her birthday”. She didn’t bring her a slice of cake from the party or anything. We took her a birthday present but I’m not sure if I should’ve bothered. I went to a park date again for another child’s birthday the week after and everyone just brought tiny presents (cheap pack of colouring pencils for example) and our bigger present seemed OTT.

I wouldn’t take a gift to a meeting at the park, is that not just a play date ?

£8-10. We take for every party we are invited to including an amazing zoom party. If both my children are invited to a party I either do 2 presents or choose something more expensive. I usually take my child's lead on what to buy their friend.
A friend's mum asked my DD what she wanted for her birthday. DD thought she was making conversation, and didn't realise she was asking for ideas. Luckily the mum realised DD wasn't just being grabby when she said "a bike".