How do you start to recover when you've reached burn out?

[ilovetreetops]

I'm sat here like a zombie with so many important things I need to get up and do but I literally can't move.

It sounds dramatic but I'm utterly burnt out and yesterday I got to the point of shaking with rage on my walk home from work after an incredibly stressful day. I can't even be arsed to start conversations with dh as we'll be interrupted twenty times by toddler dcs so can't even be arsed to speak to him about it.

I lost a close relative 6 weeks ago and it still doesn't seem real. I keep having flash backs to seeing her laying there, looking unrecognisable as she died. I drove near where she lived the other day and stupidly thought "ahh I'll pop by and see her".

I'm booking a week off soon whilst the dcs are at nursery just so that I can have some time alone for a few days, which I'm hoping will help.

I feel I have reached a stage of not knowing how to feel more energetic and positive. Can't even be arsed to go to the gym/exercise which I usually do multiple times a week.

Any tips?

I feel the same. Totally burned out and exhausted. I am getting irrationally angry about the smallest things.

Put out of office on and have forced myself not to look. I know I need a break and people will just have to wait or they won't get it at all.

I have managed a day on my own, on the coast. Just staring at the sea. Feel so much better today.

I hope things improve for you.

When I was at rock bottom and overwhelmed, I told DH that I was going to bed and stopping there until I felt better so he was in charge at home. And that he wasn't allowed to ask me one single question until I came out because his life would be at serious risk if he did.

I shut the door for 48 hours, and just led there in a stupor until I felt I could move tbh. Sometimes we just need to stop. Hope you feel more like yourself soon

I had to leave the family and be on my own for a while - it was the only way. I was literally on my knees. Just a few days of not having to speak to anyone or think about anything. Family didn't like it (DH in particular but tough shit), but it did me the power of good. It also made my family appreciate just how much invisible work that "mum" does.

I hope you are able to find some space.

@ilovetreetops

I'm sat here like a zombie with so many important things I need to get up and do but I literally can't move.

It sounds dramatic but I'm utterly burnt out and yesterday I got to the point of shaking with rage on my walk home from work after an incredibly stressful day. I can't even be arsed to start conversations with dh as we'll be interrupted twenty times by toddler dcs so can't even be arsed to speak to him about it.

I lost a close relative 6 weeks ago and it still doesn't seem real. I keep having flash backs to seeing her laying there, looking unrecognisable as she died. I drove near where she lived the other day and stupidly thought "ahh I'll pop by and see her".

I'm booking a week off soon whilst the dcs are at nursery just so that I can have some time alone for a few days, which I'm hoping will help.

I feel I have reached a stage of not knowing how to feel more energetic and positive. Can't even be arsed to go to the gym/exercise which I usually do multiple times a week.

Any tips?

You sound like you are suffering from grief and trauma. There is a charity called Cruse who offer free grief counselling: 0808 808 1677 Can your toddler go and stay with their grandparents for a few days so you have some space? Book a few days off work, take some time for yourself. Or book yourself into a hotel for a few days and just do nothing. Try Last Minute or Booking.com or Travel Lodge for some deals. www.travelodge.co.uk/

I have this occasionally when I’m totally burnt out at work. At one point the year before last I couldn’t even formulate thought, remember my name properly, it was awful.

I took 2 days off and slept/meditated and didn’t try and do anything - that included eating (because I couldn’t formulate a mental response to what I wanted to eat), washing, or doing anything other than breathing.

Not having the pressure on myself to do anything was the space I needed. It took a while to feel normal again, and now I recognize the signs of overwork and mental stress and I take time out to address it.

If you’re dealing with trauma from grief as well, this is another facet of mental trauma.

I’m so sorry for your loss and the mental pressure you’re facing x

At total burnout stage, really just don't plan anything for your time off. Your body knows how to heal, you've just had a massive shock, so just do nothing, sleep when you need, for how long you need, when you have energy potter and make some nice meals, pamper yourself with a bath, watch a nice movie, reconnect with a friend, then when you feel better, get lots of fresh air and start to think about what you need to do to adjust, whether its planning to celebrate your relatives life in some way, counselling or small (not big) goals. I also love reading Pema Chodron when facing change there are some heartfelt books on grief and loss. Best wishes

I'm in the same boat OP- total breakdown in October (work/life/stress related), then COVID in January, then my Mum died horribly in March.

There have been times when I simply haven't been able to function. What's helped is the knowledge that things will improve, but it takes time and therefore not to pressurise my self to feel 'normal'; ADs; very slow return to work; and getting out in the fresh air.

to you, it's a shitty time at the mo