How to do this (financially)

[Howmanysleepsnow]

DH says he’s leaving. I do agency work (currently 1 night a week as he won’t mind the dc for more).
Obviously I can’t work nights if he’s not here. Shifts in my profession are 7.30-8.30 or nights. I can’t do either without childcare and I know from when they were babies that childminders locally don’t work after 6pm/ before 8am.
A minimum wage job won’t pay the mortgage (800pcm) let alone anything else.
No family locally.
How does anyone else make this work? Obviously I can’t sign on for benefits unless I’m seeking work, but there’s none available that I’m qualified for (I’m a nurse- MH) in hours I have (potentially got) childcare for.

Do you still want to be a practicing nurse? Would you consider being an inspector for CQC? Working from home, planned away time for inspections, decent wage. You keep up your CPD and retain your registration

Don’t move out.

Get some legal advice
Do you think he will have the kids overnight at all? Don’t believe what he says he will do, think about what you think is likely.

Put in a claim for CMS
Start getting together all financial documentation. Assets will be split but not necessarily 50-50.

If you think he is likely to be financially abusive/difficult then ask women’s aid for a solicitor recommendation.
If there a nursing employment agency that could assist you in finding work??
Best wishes

Aside from all the practical issues how sad is it that your DH would see his children move out to “somewhere shitty” or does he think they will stay with him?
I hope if my DH ever left me he would still have his children’s best interests at heart!
I work in Care Homes and our deputy managers are nurses (various specialties) they work 9-5. I know it depends where you live etc but there may be something a care group could offer you especially with MH.

@Nearlyadoctor

Firstly op despite pp advice - DO NOT MOVE OUT ,the house is yours and your children’s home. I’m also guessing they’re happily settled at school etc so if DH isn’t happy then he has to move out.

Financially I assume all the children are his so it’s not going to be entirely up to you to pay the mortgage, bills etc he will need to contribute to looking after his children.

Obviously get some legal advice asap, and it may well be that you need to give up your current job at least in the short term as looking after 4 children alone is no mean feet. You will be entitled to maintenance and benefits, DH is still going to have to support his children despite all his bravado.

You have a decent qualification so going forward you will be able to get a post to workaround your family life.

Most of all don’t panic - it will be ok.

I was just about to say the same thing. Op do not move out.