Staying together for the sake of the children?

[Sfuandtired]

My Marriage has not been what it should be for the last few years, fairly certain he doesn't love me anyone nor me him tbh, typical cliche, I've gained weight over the years which I'm sure is a factor, there's no emotional support or care, we're probably both guilty of not being very interested in each other although in my defence mine has developed due to him being very self focused and constantly meeting his own needs as a priority, that said, he pays the bills and supports the family financially, as do I.
I know if we weren't together I'd not miss being with him or around him and his behaviour tells me he'd say the same. We sometimes argue but not a great deal, however things aren't unbearable. My question is how many others are in a similar situation? perhaps staying as it's easier? and less upheaval?

Bitterness and resentment will creep in as will the likelihood of one or both of you having an affair.

Sit down and be address the situation and see if you want to rekindle your relationship or how to move forward and separate.

It’s never a good idea to stay down the sake of the children as it does them a great disservice when they are old enough to understand that you both aren’t a real couple in the true sense of the word.

Chatanooga1 I think there is already a fair bit of resentment on both sides, I have absolutely no desire at all to have to anything to do with another man right now but I have wondered if he would be tempted by an affair.

Leave. You want to give your children a good example of how a marriage works and what a good relationship looks like to stop them going into a relationship later in life and ending up in one that is dysfunctional because they have no idea what a happy healthy relationship looks like.

Depends how old the children are, what both of your financial situations would be leaving the marriage and joint home. Sometimes I do think it’s better to stay together for the children but not usually.

The children pick up on it and as adults end up feeling guilty that their parents sacrificed a decade or more for them. That’s the problem. Unless you’re brilliant actors.

The other thing is that if your husband meets someone (as you sense he might) and wants to be with her, it will be acrimonious and messy and he will be setting the timescale (ie not necessarily waiting until youngest child is 18). Surely it is better to part ways amicably, at a time that you both agree, and with no other party involved.

Never, ever stay together for the sake of the children.

They won't thank you for growing up in a house with loveless parents. Split up, move on, be happy, model a decent relationship for them, or model being single and happy.

Think about your family in 10 years time if you stay together - kids ready to leave home grateful to get away from the low level misery their parents feel, you've piled on even more weight because food was your only source of enjoyment, now wanting to meet someone new but held back because you're older, fatter and infinitely more miserable than you were 10 years ago.

@daisyjgrey

Never, ever stay together for the sake of the children.

They won't thank you for growing up in a house with loveless parents. Split up, move on, be happy, model a decent relationship for them, or model being single and happy.

Yep as a child whose parents did exactly what you're thinking there are still times I resent that they used me and my sibling as the excuse for staying together when in reality we all knew for years they should just split up.

That burden of being the reason both your parents are living a miserable existence is one no child should be subjected to.

Thank you all for the replies, they've given me something to think about