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How do I control my anxiety for my driving test?

32 replies

MeadowHay · 29/04/2021 16:07

I have my driving test very soon. I was actually meant to do it in January but it was rearranged due to the lockdown. I was all ready to do my test in January and was actually feeling quite optimistic, but this time with my test so close my last few lessons have been shambles - suddenly making loads of huge mistakes that I would never normally make. I can only put this down to the heightened anxiety. If I don't pass my test, I am aware that I will be facing a likely 4 month wait to retry it, so I think this is making me feel more pressured (not to mention the extra cost of lessons - I've already been a slow learner and had far more lessons than most people...)

I only have a few lessons left before my test and I really need to control my anxiety if I have any hope of passing this test!. Does anyone have any tips or methods that have worked for them? I was initially a very anxious learner and over a LOT of lessons this mostly disappeared, so it's really frustating to have these feelings back again and to be going backwards with my driving Sad.

OP posts:
Horehound · 29/04/2021 16:10

My top would be to get out and drive as much as you can. Have you got a car and l plates and someone to go out with you? The more you're out and about the more confident you will be

Other than that, don't big it up like such a huge thing. If you fail, well you try again. It is not life and death, in 100years this won't matter.
That's how I think of things.

LaTomatina · 29/04/2021 16:12

Other than that, don't big it up like such a huge thing. If you fail, well you try again.

This.

SingingSands · 29/04/2021 16:17

I ruined 3 driving tests with horrendous anxiety. On one test the instructor actually asked me to pull over and offered to drive us back to the test centre. Mortified.

On the fourth I just though "feck this". I jumped in the car and acted as though I'd been driving for my whole life. It was a confidence trick. I tricked my brain, which made me act confident, which made me feel confident, which made my actions confident. I passed! (And if I had failed at least I'd have done so confidently Grin).

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MeadowHay · 29/04/2021 16:19

Thanks - I will definitely, definitely keep at it if I fail. I know that statisically I'm actually far more likely to fail than pass based on the stats at my test centre as a first-time exam-sitter. I think it really is the fact that the wait to re-sit it will be soo long that is making me feel so anxious about failing. I'm pregnant, and if I couldn't sit it for 4 months, if I failed the 2nd attempt, I would only have 1yr left on my theory and I also have no idea how soon I'd be able to re-book it/pick up lessons as my baby is due early autumn. So it's those circumstances that are really making me feel the pressure I think Sad.

Unfortunately I cannot get any practice outside of lessons, so instead I am having lots of frequent lessons, which is the next best thing albeit extremely expensive...! I have clocked up a VAST amount of time on the roads in lessons, far more than most people Blush which definitely was the driver behind my anxiety about driving eventually basically disappearing. It's literally just now the test is on the horizon it has suddenly appeared again and making me do stupid things, some of which would make me instantly fail my test eek.

OP posts:
ZoeMaye · 29/04/2021 16:19

Plan to fail. Say "this is my mock driving exam/dress rehearsal" then do your best and perform as though it's the real thing, but with none of the pressure as you are not planning to pass this time, just prepare fully for next time when you do.
Chances are you will pass first time, but if you don't the great, it's just a mock exam/dress rehearsal.

MeadowHay · 29/04/2021 16:56

@ZoeMaye

Plan to fail. Say "this is my mock driving exam/dress rehearsal" then do your best and perform as though it's the real thing, but with none of the pressure as you are not planning to pass this time, just prepare fully for next time when you do. Chances are you will pass first time, but if you don't the great, it's just a mock exam/dress rehearsal.
Ooh, didn't think of this. It might be a good strategy, because I've been trying the whole 'visualise yourself having passed' and telling myself I can do it and I will pass etc and it's not really working, I think because deep down I don't really believe it or have confidence in the messages! Maybe this is what I need, to be very pessimistic instead so the pressure is off ha.
OP posts:
iklboo · 29/04/2021 17:07

DH recommends Bach's Rescue Remedy for his pupils if they're nervous.

Horehound · 29/04/2021 17:12

I also agree about just pretending to be confident. On my test I chatted away to the instructor asking where he was from, how long he'd lived in town etc etc it just took my kind off the actual driving which I could do. If you know you are capable do not overthink it. Look at things and think oh a pigeon, that's a bird. Oh an old building, wonder what's inside. Etc

Notagain20 · 29/04/2021 17:13

Spend some time every day visualising yourself when you are a confident and experienced driver. Really enjoy it, as though you're watching a video of future you with a few years driving experience under your belt. Picture yourself grabbing your keys and going out to your fabulous car, which you've had for a while and love driving. How do you move, what are you wearing? Put some music on, put your shades on and go for a drive in your imagination. Picture yourself calm and confident, enjoying popping out in the car to meet friends or pick up some food or whatever. Notice how you feel, what you see, what you hear in this imagined scene. Practice this every day, at least once, and your subc will learn that driving is something you enjoy!
Good luck!

Notagain20 · 29/04/2021 17:13

Subconscious

Northernsoullover · 29/04/2021 17:16

Forget the Bach remedy and go for the big guns. Beta blockers. They stop you shaking and most importantly they do not alter your mind or make you drowsy. I took 5 feckin tests. I had beta blockers from the 4th and despite failing I left that test feeling amazing because the physical symptoms of anxiety had gone and I knew I'd pass the next one.

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 29/04/2021 17:17

Treat it like acting and you are acting the part of someone that has been driving for years. Try and get into that character, rather than being your nervous self.

Also so lots of mock tests with your instructor.

Also rescue remedy

BertieBotts · 29/04/2021 17:21

Your GP can prescribe beta blockers for test anxiety, they are safe to drive on.

MeadowHay · 29/04/2021 17:24

Ah unfortunately over the years I've tried a lot of different anxiety meds and the only thing that works for me are benzos which obviously aren't an option for driving!! I would love for beta blockers to work but I can't take a standard dose as my blood pressure then drops too low (it's normally quite low as it is), and the tiny doses I can tolerate aren't effective at reducing my anxiety. Such a pain because otherwise I'd agree I'd be straight on them without shame!!

Will try lots of positive visualisations each day thanks! I do logically know that I can do it, I really can - I wouldn't say I've got to the point where I enjoy it, and I definitely have to really focus on everything I'm doing, not much of it feels 'natural' yet - but I've passed mock tests with my instructor and I know I can definitely drive to the required standard as long as I don't panic!! The problem is when my anxiety is now so high, if anything slightly unexpected happens I then panic and make bad decisions or hesitate too long and make decisions too late. I'm not normally like that as a driver, I'm very cautious and I know what to do, it's just my last few lessons Angry

OP posts:
Notagain20 · 29/04/2021 17:51

It's just your threat system in overdrive, pardon the pun, and you need to bring your "soothe" system online to balance it. Anything that helps you relax during the rest of your day, whatever that might be. And whenever you find your mind wandering to everything that could go wrong, or replaying any mistakes you've made, just think "no thank you" and visualise cool you driving beautifully, or anything else that you do confidently.

StCharlotte · 29/04/2021 17:56

@iklboo

DH recommends Bach's Rescue Remedy for his pupils if they're nervous.
It absolutely worked for me (although I was probably over the limit by the time I took the test which started 25 minutes late due to the previous person taking a wrong turn and getting lost - pre satnav).
pickingdaisies · 29/04/2021 18:05

My nerves made me mess up my first test. I got through other next one by having a long driving lesson immediately before the test, and then talking to myself the whole way through. So I literally talked myself through it - check mirror, signal, etc. It helped, and the examiner was cool with it too.

notagainmummy · 29/04/2021 18:47

Bach's rescue remedy did the trick. we also had another test booked at a centre with a short waiting list, and cancelled it after i passed.

hairymuffet · 30/04/2021 08:05

Propranolol from gp

ilovebagpuss · 30/04/2021 08:12

I always wished that there could be a better way like if your driving instructor could pass you at a certain point rather than the whole exam feel which fails a lot of people who drive brilliantly on their lesson.
When I failed my first test my instructor was like I knew this would happen you are ready but it’s the stress of the “exam” so just listen to your test instructor try and imagine he’s standing in on a normal driving lesson and you are just showing him your route.
If you fail just book straight away and ask to be notified of cancellations be prepared to just arrive jump in and go if they offer you one.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/04/2021 08:14

The advice I got on here years ago was to eat a banana and take 2 paracetamol. Something about blood sugar and controlling the nervous flushing you get.

It worked for me so passing on the good fortune! Good luck!

Magnificentmug12 · 30/04/2021 08:19

Good luck! If you fail you can just do it again.

But anxiety can be funny, sometimes it can block things out, and actually help you hone in on what you have to do and give focus, try not too push it down but let it over take and push it all too your mind to create a block on everything so you can just concentrate on the test and taking your time.

I know it sounds backwards but it can sometimes really work in “crisis”
If that makes sense?!

BramblyHedge · 30/04/2021 08:20

I used Bach's flower remedy on my 4th attempt and it worked - I know it is probably in my head but I was calmer and passed.

thelegohooverer · 30/04/2021 08:25

Practice more.

When you are learning a new skill there is a tipping point where, under observation, you perform better. Before you reach that point, observation results in a worse performance.

It’s really important to be able to drive safely and well when you’re under pressure. The pressure of a driving test is nothing to the pressure of driving a screaming, bleeding child to hospital, trying to reach a dying parent, etc. Sorry for the dramatics but it’s true.

The whole point of the driving test isn’t that you’re not anxious - it’s that you can drive competently and safely when you’re anxious. Until you reach that level of proficiency you haven’t earned a licence. Sorry.

confusedofengland · 30/04/2021 11:00

I was a nervous driver & failed 4 tests. I passed my 5th test age 32 & with 1 DC. I have now been driving for 11 years & not so much as a point on my licence nor any accidents & only 1 parking ticket, so I must be doing something right.

I think there were 3 things that contributed to my success.

  1. I needed to drive my DC about. Buses are walking were impractical & expensive. So I was focused.

  2. I took a herbal calming remedy, can't remember what it was called. It was either effective or I believed it would be.

  3. I asked for my driving instructor to sit in the back during my test. Then when I looked in my mirror I could see his face & remember what he would advise me to do in any given situation.

Good luck