Need help with self care. Think DM is heading for EOL care.

[HelpKeepMeSanePLease]

I have name changed as I have family on here and we have not told anyone yet, we are still in shock.
I will know more in the next few days but it is not looking good. So we are basically waiting to see how long.
Obviously this is going to be a very stressful time for us and I would like some tips on how to keep myself and my family as healthy physically and mentally as possible during this time.

So sorry to read this. Easy meals that don’t take thought or effort but are not junk is important - you could stock up on the Cook range (or similar) I found just a ready made meal that fed me and the kids well and was nourishing was worth it’s weight in gold. So so sorry for you.

I'm going to do practical here:

Easy, good food, Chuck money if you can at cook or similar,

Maintain routine as much as possible.

I'm sorry for what you're going through but being practical helped me.

I agree with the practical stuff. It can help to take control of what you can for all involved: so just as the person at the end of life needs to be supported and kept as comfortable as possible, so do those around them. That will mean different things to different people but trying to stay as healthy as possible is a good start. If you have money to make the practical things easier, use it to buy in as much help as possible to lighten any load on you eg healthy ish ready meals/cleaning/taxis. I know that sounds somehow unimportant but really it's whatever will give you the energy to get through as best you can. If you get anxiety, treat that: herbal stuff to help you sleep, things like St John's wort for the daytime. Crutches basically. Don't feel that you are less important because of the death that someone else is facing. Total cliche but you need to look after you in whatever way you can.

Thank you all

I am shaking here, adrenaline I suppose. Trying to do homework and pretend I am ok in front of DC. I know I have to tell them but not today. Have done laundry and only did that because I had bed clothes to get done to put back on tonight.

Looking up funeral prices, sad reality but someone has to pay for it so would rather know how much it will be so we aren't in for a shock.

I don't know what is going on with my body but my hormones have gone mad today and sorry tmi but my boobs are killing me. It is only a week since my period so too early for my usual hormonal fluctuations.

I'm sorry you've had such tough news.

Is there a diagnosis/prognosis if you don't mind my asking?

Only wondering as you may need to prepare for a longer haul than you initially expect. My dad was declared 'end of life' last April with 'frailty' (gastrointestinal cancer was initially suspected but he was too weak for invasive tests).

He has declined massively but is still hanging in there and moved into a residential care home last month.

Your GP should be the one to coordinate support and involvement of other agencies eg hospice, district nurse etc so hopefully they are on the ball.

What kind of immediate family/friends support do you have?

Agree with others that making life at home as comfortable and easy as possible should be a priority...you will need a refuge in the weeks/months ahead. A few things that have helped me...Calm App, aromatherapy, writing, hot baths.

If it all goes to help in a handcart, don't beat yourself up for resorting to takeaway and wine occasionally.

Let the kids school, and your work if relevant know what is going on so they can support if and where possible.

Look into support that might be available should you need it for your own mental health eg talking therapy, helplines etc (I found SHOUT really helpful in a few crisis situations...you chat via text rather than phone which I find much easier).

I know it's a complete mindfuck atm but try and take things one day at a time and allow yourself to switch off and recharge when you have the opportunity.