My dad was an alcoholic which made my teens and twenties very hard. When he got sober he left my mum and did some very hurtful things to me and my brother and almost ruined my business. He tells people I’ve disowned him, keep him from his grandchildren etc etc.
I’ve tried to be fair and kind, we send cards and are pleasant to one another. He keeps forgetting my young children’s birthdays and has formed a close friendship with my abusive ex. The little contact we have only makes me angry and I’ve decided to cut contact as it feels like a empty gesture which isn’t appreciated anyway. My question is would you send him a letter or see him in person detailing why or just send a vague ‘I’d prefer not to see each other right now, best wishes’ etc? Have you been in this position?
I feel it would be cathartic to tell him how I feel and fairer to him and then I won’t have to think about him again, my husband thinks it’s cruel to drag everything up and I’ll regret it.