Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you offer friend the money back?

35 replies

BloodyGoodRep · 28/04/2021 11:43

Me and a friend booked a week away in the may half term for me, her, my ds and her dd. My friend is starting a new job and can no longer make that week. That’s absolutely fine, genuinely not an issue. DS didn’t know about it anyway and we have 2 weekends away booked for the following 2 weekends so loads of fun in the pipeline. Anyway I’ve just called to see what our options are and they won’t let me move it/cancel it without paying a cancellation fee which is 80% so essentially we’d get £30 each back if we don’t go so not worth it.

So I think I might just go anyway. But I’m not sure whether to offer my friend her half? The thing is splitting it into 2 made it a nice cheap little holiday and I can’t really afford to give her the other half. I could offer to give her like £20 a month but the other part of me thinks if she’s not the one coming then why should I give her the money if that makes sense?

Anyway she’s a really good mate and I’m sure she wouldn’t even expect half of the money but I didn’t know if I should just offer?

OP posts:
Foxglovesandprimroses · 28/04/2021 11:45

Offer her the money back; it's the right thing to do. I would try and see if anyone else could come in her place.

SarahMused · 28/04/2021 11:59

Talk to her and let her know what you would get back if you both cancelled. Offer her the £30 that you would get and explain that you would still like to go but can’t afford to pay any more. She would get the same amount back this way whether you both cancel or only you go. Obviously if you can find someone else to take her place they should pay your friend’s share.

PurpleDaisies · 28/04/2021 12:00

Yes if you’re going, you should pay for it.

WeeDonkey · 28/04/2021 12:01

@SarahMused

Talk to her and let her know what you would get back if you both cancelled. Offer her the £30 that you would get and explain that you would still like to go but can’t afford to pay any more. She would get the same amount back this way whether you both cancel or only you go. Obviously if you can find someone else to take her place they should pay your friend’s share.
This is what I'd do.
Chatanooga1 · 28/04/2021 12:01

Can you go and take her child and she still pay what she would have paid if she had come along too?

Reinventinganna · 28/04/2021 12:01

Talk to her

Love51 · 28/04/2021 12:02

Offer her the £30 if you can afford it. She should of course turn it down and be apologetic for messing you about.

bunburyscucumbersandwich · 28/04/2021 12:03

You shouldn't be out of pocket as she's decided not to go.
Either move it to a time you can both go, or say that if it's cancelled then you'll get x amount back.

Triffid1 · 28/04/2021 12:03

I think she should get back whatever she'd get if you both cancelled. and you do not have to pay her share even if you now take the holiday alone.

However, I'd also explore alternatives such as rescheduling or finding someone else to go with you who could pay her share.

TyneTeas · 28/04/2021 12:04

Explain and offer her what she would have received back

Moltenpink · 28/04/2021 12:04

Agree with paying her the £30 or trying to find someone else to buy her share.

bunburyscucumbersandwich · 28/04/2021 12:05

Ah crap just noticed the fee to change! Just say to her that if it's cancelled then she'll get £30 back.

She could still go as work have to honour holidays booked before she started there.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 28/04/2021 12:12

The right thing to do would be for her to give you back the money you've lost. I'm guessing this isn't an option as you would have mentioned it. It's entirely reasonable for you to go and no pay her the money.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 28/04/2021 12:13

@bunburyscucumbersandwich

Ah crap just noticed the fee to change! Just say to her that if it's cancelled then she'll get £30 back.

She could still go as work have to honour holidays booked before she started there.

They don't.
drpet49 · 28/04/2021 12:15

* You shouldn't be out of pocket as she's decided not to go.*

^This. She shouldn’t expect any money back. She forfeited this when she decided not to go.

RestingPandaFace · 28/04/2021 12:16

Agree with PP offer her the £30 back that she would get if you cancelled and tell her that you are going anyway as you can’t afford to lose out.

TokenGinger · 28/04/2021 12:18

I'd offer her the £30 she'd be entitled to if the holiday was cancelled. That's all she'd get anyway.

If she's a decent enough friend to go on holiday with, she'll be a decent enough friend not to expect you to fund her cancelled break.

ImFree2doasiwant · 28/04/2021 12:20

I agree, explain the cancellation and offer her the £30

Crockof · 28/04/2021 12:23

Hmmm, has she offered to pay you the money you are losing by cancelling?
For example if you both have paid £100 and by cancelling you get £30 back you are £70 out of pocket because of her decision.

Optimist1 · 28/04/2021 12:35

@Love51

Offer her the £30 if you can afford it. She should of course turn it down and be apologetic for messing you about.
This gets my vote.
Viviennemary · 28/04/2021 12:38

She needs to still pay her share of what the holiday cost. She was the one who cancelled.

apooagnuandyou · 28/04/2021 12:43

I agree, offer what she would would get back if you both cancelled. No way should you give her back her share, why should you be out of pocket?

Could you try to go with another friend to keep it cheap?

KateWinsome · 28/04/2021 12:47

I wouldn't give her anything and if I were the friend I wouldn't expect anything.

FinallyFluid · 28/04/2021 12:50

£30 and bottle of wine, I would take the consolation prize wine and refuse the £30.

alexis4theppl · 28/04/2021 12:59

If she can't go Im sure she is expecting to lose the money she's paid. If you can still go great, your not losing out due to her cancelling. If you can find someone to take her place they should pay instead and you can give her that back.

Even offering her £30 as pp have said, although kind of you, I don't think is necessary.

If I had to cancel plans I would take the hit and wouldn't expect as refund from my friend.