Cutting a family member out of it affects the whole family

[username59528]

I'm here just looking for advice/similar life experiences. A relative of mine I have just simply have had enough of. Ruining special occasions, making it all about them, constantly have arguments with someone in their life it's like they are not happy if they are not in some kind of conflict. Today it became my turn again for them to turn on. They are just a constant toxic source in my life and they think because we are family it's acceptable.

My issue is other family members get upset when I mention cutting ties. It then becomes my fault for causing it to be awkward. They have all been in the firing line from this person but after they make up they start giving them excuses.

I don't wish this person any ill I just want to be left alone by them now. It has already affected my relationships with other members of my family as they try to defend them /act like it's just their personality and we should accept it.

Any advice/experience would be great. For some reason I feel terrible about it all. I am not good with conflict and do my best to avoid it.

Why do you have to tell other people that you are cutting ties? Can't you just quietly go no contact?

I would if I could. Part of the issue with this family member is the drama they enjoy. So whenever they have a argument they literally tell everyone. I know I will be being called to everyone right now. I then end up with family members ringing me asking for my side to the story. It's awful and draining.
The issue is family members then purposely try to make peace again by trying to get everyone to meet up (in the gardens at the minute) so me saying no causes issues apparently.

Wow I could of written this word for word.
It can be a problem but not in every case, I've gone NC with a cousin now for over 2 years as she would regularly make up stories and scenarios involving me that just blatantly didn't happen and then when pressed on it would deny until she was blue in the face even when shown evidence of her behaviour which lead to me to accept she isn't normal, she instigates drama and problems for attention and deflects blame on to anyone and everyone.
I went NC after about 6 months of people begging me to sort it out and make up, she started doing it to other family members, now we are all wise to her behaviour 90% of our family have gone NC and only speak to her parents who absolutely blame me for it all even though they know the entire family have been affected by her and have literally no issues with me they still can't see it and that's absolutely fine.
I'm pregnant with my last baby and she's repeatedly requesting me on all social media (which I barely use) and although some family see this as a reconciliation attempt I see it for what it is being nosey and info seeking.
Truly in my heart I'm glad I cut her off and I hope one day she accepts her behaviours but that won't change how I feel.
Eventually people will just accept that's how it is and if they don't that's there own issue.

A bit of conflict now by going NC with them may save a lot in future.