Put this in relationship thread too.
Looking for some examples of experiences when relocating after divorce/ separation with a new partner and your own children.
Just a bit of background: been with new partner for a year, he’s been planning to move to the coast for a big life change since we met and that will be happening soon. We think if our relationship Is to last I’d need to relocate with him (in about a year, not in a rush) as neither of us want a distance relationship. My work is flexible and I have my own money so I wouldn't end up being financially dependent on him (unless we decided to merge everything like that). We’d be up for doing the distance thing for a year but not longer. My children (3 aged between 5-10) all really like him and we’ve spent a lot of time together. He is cautious about the need to build relationships with them and go about that thoughtfully and I’ve really appreciated that approach-not jumping in and trying too hard and rushing things.
But I am worried about moving my children from their school and friendships and Dad. He has them overnight once in the week then Friday to Saturday, sometimes an extra night in the week but only every couple of weeks. He isn’t very hands on and is emotionally detached (reason for divorce), also I do all the extra practical stuff like parents evening, school stuff like cake bakes dressing up days and sponsored events, dental appointments, swimming lessons, inset days/look after them when they’re sick, take them on holidays -he’s a bit like a babysitter at times rather than a parent, again one of the reasons for divorcing. They love him and enjoy spending time with him but I’m certainly the primary career and main nurturer which suits both me and their dad. The move would be 2hrs away and I imagine he’d have them for long weekends every fortnight, meeting in the middle so 1hr journey time for us (2hrs for children).
Moving would give them many experiences and opportunities and a change in lifestyle which would be very outdoors, which suits us all.
Looking for examples please
From anyone who has done this, good and bad. The idea of moving them, especially changing their school, is really hard for me to entertain I feel like I’d be damaging them even though I know lots of children do change schools and are fine. It would be timed for the summer before my eldest starts high school, to give a chance to build friendships and settle in. They already know the area from weekends away but we haven’t made strong connections there yet. They love the area on holiday, but I haven’t spoken to them (or their dad) about the idea of moving. That would all be in 15 mths time if it did happen.
So if anyone has done this and can give me the benefit of their experience-how the move affected their children, relationship with ex, what they did to smooth the transition etc I would be grateful. Thanks in advance!