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Original poster

What should 16 mo know? Fear we've been left behind the pack....

27 replies

Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 10:42

Just that really.
They've finally started walking but not confidentially. One a month ago, one a few days ago.
No really clear words (quack, banana sometimes, yes, Dad)
Doesn't often respond to their names (one more so than the other) but hearing is fine (he hears when I say Alexa!!)
Doesn't fetch things if I tell them to, doesn't point to their body parts.
Can climb anything and eats fairly ok.

But they love bashing away on a keyboard or playing with their brothers figures or splashing in water and we've just done that kind of free play but now I realise I've let them down because they can't do the stuff other kids tgeir age can but I don't know where to start.

We point to their nose and read books and say colours etc but I don't think enough? Should I be making a point of sitting and teaching them every day? They doesn't even go to nursery until they're 3 so he's stuck with me whilst DH is out the house 10 hours a day. They don't even play nicely l, they largely ignore or fight unless one is being especially funny.

Do I lock all the fun toys away and make them do those puzzle's where you for the piece? They have free access to toys ATM because they're in our living room

I'm just so worried they'll start nursery massively disadvantaged or that we'll have to have support in school because of me

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 27/04/2021 10:44

Twins?

IsolaPribby · 27/04/2021 10:46

Can I assume they are twins? They sound absolutely fine to me! They are only 16 months old! Were they early or small? I really don't think you need to worry.

LividJabber · 27/04/2021 10:48

They sound fine?

I have these moments of self doubt and it’s usually my own anxiety at being a ftm in a pandemic. What’s made you so anxious today?

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Ohnomoreno · 27/04/2021 10:49

Sounds normal. Why would you think any of what you are thinking? Are you depressed?

Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 10:53

Yeah twins, 4 weeks early and Def not small. Perfect and had no help in hospital. One might assume looking at their nearly 7lb weights they were perfectly on time.

I don't know. I'm anxious about if I'm doing enough a lot anyway but we went on a walk yesterday with other Moms and I nearly cried from anxiety waiting for my friend as there were people there I didn't know which isn't massively usual for me and I've just been out of sorts since. They're playing lovely and independently on the floor with a toy each being curious but I just worry we should be talking more or learning stuff. Everyone else's kids Inc twins seem to be chattier or more "advanced"

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Cindersrellie · 27/04/2021 10:53

At that age I think you just love them and let them play! Could put them in nursery for a few mornings per week if you want them to get some change of scene/social interaction/variety.

Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 10:54

@Cindersrellie

At that age I think you just love them and let them play! Could put them in nursery for a few mornings per week if you want them to get some change of scene/social interaction/variety.
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Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 10:56

One of those structured Toddler sessions where the adults all sit in a circle and sing and the kids wander off and pick each other Hmm and hoping to start a free play outdoor one next week plus the park walk one although they're confines to a pushchair for that one. But I'm worried It'll just show up the stuff they can't do. So many strong little walkers at last week's group and mine are crawling everywhere

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Deadringer · 27/04/2021 11:03

When my older dc were small toddler groups didn't exist (at least where i live) so my dc just played in the house and garden, watched a bit of tv, and we went to the playground sometimes. Thats it until they started preschool at 3. Didn't hamper their development at all, socially or otherwise. You have an advantage really in that your little ones are playing together and learning give and take at home.

PegPeople · 27/04/2021 11:07

So many strong little walkers at last week's group and mine are crawling everywhere

If it makes you feel even a tiny bit better mine is an only singleton nearly 17 months old and still yet to take even a single step. He has approximately 10 words, cannot flow instructions (he is a stubborn small person) and I am in no way even remotely concerned about his development.

BertieBotts · 27/04/2021 11:09

You sound like you're doing brilliantly. Don't change a thing!

IvanTheDragon · 27/04/2021 11:24

It sounds like they are doing fine! It’s easy to spot what other children are doing and yours aren’t, but every kid develops at their own pace and often unevenly and in fits and starts. Your worries are understandable, especially as you are probably seeing more other children to compare them to as restrictions ease, but it doesn’t sound like there is any cause for concern at all.

JackieTheFart · 27/04/2021 11:33

Hi @Backofthepack

I also have twins who were 4 weeks early. I know it’s difficult to not compare children - but please try not to. Nothing about what you’ve said conjures up concerns.

Also honestly don’t expect them to play nicely right now - I’m sure it’s around 2 when toddlers are supposed to get a sense of playing ‘with’ rather than ‘by’ another child. I played with mine but not anything considered educational, I just don’t think it’s necessary.

whatswithtodaytoday · 27/04/2021 11:41

They sound absolutely fine. At 16 months mine was mostly entertaining himself with his toys or watching TV while we tried to work from home during the first lockdown. He started walking at 14 months but didn't really get going until 15 (so same age as your two corrected), and he didn't say anything except 'dada' and 'cheers' until the week before he turned 18 months. He's now an extremely chatty and active 2 year old!

They won't play 'with' each other yet either - mine is only just getting into that now, nursery say he's fine but very independent and likes to watch rather than join in.

It would probably be good for you to spend some time with other babies and see that they're all different, and at different stages.

DownWhichOfLate · 27/04/2021 11:43

How’s your sleep? My first child slept terribly which made me quite anxious and question everything. Not being mean, just pointing out it could be sleep deprivation making you think these things. Smile

AnnaBegins · 27/04/2021 11:58

You sound amazing. Keep going with the free play and following their interests. No need for structure until school really. Sounds like they have loads of words for their age and walking any time up until 18 months corrected age is completely normal. You are doing all the right things.

Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 12:00

@PegPeople

So many strong little walkers at last week's group and mine are crawling everywhere

If it makes you feel even a tiny bit better mine is an only singleton nearly 17 months old and still yet to take even a single step. He has approximately 10 words, cannot flow instructions (he is a stubborn small person) and I am in no way even remotely concerned about his development.

Thanks. I think there's just so little real world comparison. It was an actual relief so see so many kids wandering off and pinching each others toys at group, that it wasn't just mine. One was collecting the balls (he's a collector, he likes to find all of one thing to stash, that's a skill right) whilst the other one kept pinching drinks then patted a baby (thankfully chilled Mom!😆) which was sweet.
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Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 12:03

@JackieTheFart

Hi *@Backofthepack*

I also have twins who were 4 weeks early. I know it’s difficult to not compare children - but please try not to. Nothing about what you’ve said conjures up concerns.

Also honestly don’t expect them to play nicely right now - I’m sure it’s around 2 when toddlers are supposed to get a sense of playing ‘with’ rather than ‘by’ another child. I played with mine but not anything considered educational, I just don’t think it’s necessary.

Playing with normally involves me roaring at them, them pushing my face away / back and trying to put things in my mouth 😆 and yeah Def competition not playing together.
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Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 12:06

@DownWhichOfLate

How’s your sleep? My first child slept terribly which made me quite anxious and question everything. Not being mean, just pointing out it could be sleep deprivation making you think these things. Smile
Erm ...

They kinda sleep ok but are quite short in their sleep so wake me up even if I don't need to go into them. Normally wake up at least once (sometimes just one) sometimes more and then eldest is in my bed at 6. Nothing and I mean NOTHING can induce him to stay in his room unless we buy him a telly (no) and although he'll have a cuddle then watch my phone happily, he does like to tell me what he's watching.... So yeah, I'm always tired.

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Caszekey · 27/04/2021 12:08

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CustardyCreams · 27/04/2021 12:34

They sound wonderful and adorable. Don’t fret, they are doing fine.

mistermagpie · 27/04/2021 14:27

I have a 17 month old who has been confidently walking, running and climbing for months.

But I also have a 5 year old who didn't take a single step until he was 18 months, and wasn't a confident walker until he was 2 and still took ages to go up stairs and jump and all sorts of physical stuff. He has now totally caught up and you'd never know, but my point is - there is a really wide range of 'normal' for meeting milestones.

Back to my 17 month old. She can walk etc, but doesn't really have words - she can say mummy and says 'mi mi mi' for milk but that's about it. She can follow some instructions and does respond to her name but doesn't 'play' really at all, she more just throws stuff about. She's my third baby and is somewhere between the other two - my 5 year old has been slow to meet any milestone and my 4 year old is really quite advanced at a lot of stuff and always has been (but he's a terrible sleeper and is behaviour can be challenging, so it's not all rosy!).

So I'd say yours are totally normal, there is nothing in what you've said that would worry me at all.

BlueJag · 27/04/2021 16:56

16 months are so young. Ours didn't say much until he was about 3. Nothing wrong with him just didn't need to talk. He walked at about 13-14 months. I don't remember if he would answer to his name o he just ignored me.
I never worried about his development or if he was able to do anything in particular. We used to go out a just play in the park or walk. Please don't worry your babies are very small still.

Crayononlips · 27/04/2021 16:57

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Original poster
Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 18:50

Sorry @Crayononlips I missed that

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