Driving anxiety

[DrivingAnxiety]

NC. This is having a massive affect on my life. I'm 40 and have been taking driving lessons for almost 3 years. I have had 120 minute lessons weekly bar lockdowns and some prior breaks of a month or so here and there but mainly consistently having lessons. To the point where I had my test booked last autumn in-between lockdowns. But I am so so anxious to.start lessons again next week.

Some relevant background. Another driver crashed into me on a lesson 18 months ago (their error, nothing I could have done to prevent it). No injuries involved thank god but I cannot get past it. The closer it came to my booked test the more my anxiety ramped up to the point when I was probably going to cancel it myself if there had not been a lockdown. I have never been confident on lessons even before the crash and now there has been a big gap when there were no lessons I feel even worse. I need to pass my test and drive for part of my job. They only took me on because I showed proof of my test being booked and they were short staffed. I hate driving. I am terrified of merging on to dual carriageways, can't consistently recognise when it's safe to go at roundabouts so hesitate and feel worse, hold my breath when reversing and try to do all my observations, and I hate being in a car for 2 hours on a lesson after work when I'm already shattered. No one has space for weekend lessons at the moment. I was relieved when lessons were cancelled for lockdown as horrible as that will come across because it took the pressure and responsibility off me. Pathetic I know especially as it is affecting my kids as I am a single parent so no one else to transport them places. I don't know how I can get back to the pont where I am test ready,.it is like that was another person. I had a panic attack on my last lesson before recent lockdown and that's all I can think about when I think about driving. I had to go to bed when I got home. Kids weren't in so one good thing there. I feel physically sick. I have to do this.

Sorry for ramble. Please can anyone share what helped their driving anxiety??

I passed my test as a teenager but then didn't drive at all for 15 years. I was utterly terrified of it - I tried a few times to get back into it but never managed. Eventually I found a very very sympathetic instructor who was recommended as being good for anxious drivers. She took it all at my pace but challenged all my anxieties (of which there were many). At the same time I started taking citalopram for my health anxiety. I had a lot of lessons with her and she gave me homework in between them and over the course of about 4 months of weekly lessons, my terror gradually reduced. I now drive 30 mins each day for my commute. I still find driving to unknown places anxiety inducing and I suspect I will never manage driving in busy cities etc, but I can do long distances and motorways and get to places I want to go. It's honestly been life changing - the freedom is massive and I only wish I had done it earlier.

Keep going - it's worth it in the end

After living abroad I found I had huge anxiety driving here. I started on sertraline and realized how anxious I'd been about a lot of stuff! Good luck x

@Apanicaday

I passed my test as a teenager but then didn't drive at all for 15 years. I was utterly terrified of it - I tried a few times to get back into it but never managed. Eventually I found a very very sympathetic instructor who was recommended as being good for anxious drivers. She took it all at my pace but challenged all my anxieties (of which there were many). At the same time I started taking citalopram for my health anxiety. I had a lot of lessons with her and she gave me homework in between them and over the course of about 4 months of weekly lessons, my terror gradually reduced. I now drive 30 mins each day for my commute. I still find driving to unknown places anxiety inducing and I suspect I will never manage driving in busy cities etc, but I can do long distances and motorways and get to places I want to go. It's honestly been life changing - the freedom is massive and I only wish I had done it earlier.

Keep going - it's worth it in the end

Thank you for replying. Do you kind me asking what homework she gave you? My instructor is so kind and understanding but I know I'm the only person who can shake myself out of this. I am on sertraline and trying mindfulness type stuff.

@hernamewasrio

After living abroad I found I had huge anxiety driving here. I started on sertraline and realized how anxious I'd been about a lot of stuff! Good luck x

Thank you for.your reply. Yes I am anxious in general also but with other things I can kind of take a deep breathe and push through but this is flooring me. I have lived in a big city where most people I know didn't drive so it was not in my plans for adult life but I do feel silly about that now.

She used to set me mini tasks - it was slightly easier for me because I had already passed my test so could go out on my own. It started with just sitting in the car and then progressed to driving round the block, then gradually further afield. In lessons, she made me do things she knew I was scared of over and over- there always a particular roundabout that terrified me - we spent one two hour lesson driving round and approaching it from every different direction possible - I must have done the roundabout about 30 times over the course of the lesson. We did another one joining and coming off a duel carriageway - literally joining, travelling one junction along, leaving, rejoining, driving back and so on. It made a massive massive difference to how I reacted when I was in the car. And then once I stopped feeling panic doing it with her there in the dual controlled car, I then had to go out with someone else in my car, and then on my own.

Thankyou ❤