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Coping with jealousy

7 replies

Ttcwpcos · 25/04/2021 19:10

So the last few weeks it's felt like everyone I know has had a baby or announced a pregnancy and I'm happy for them. But today it was my best friend. Who not long ago said she didn't want to have her own child (she is a stepmum) and I'm really struggling to not be upset.
I've known for years that I'd struggle to conceive. I've been with my partner for 8 years. I'm ready for children but he's not. I do keep pointing out that time isn't on our side, I'm in my 30s. If we need IVF then I may need to loose weight (already trying) which will add to how long it's going to take. Obviously it might not even work. I might never get pregnant.
I can't even hope for an accidental pregnancy because my partner won't have sex without protection but also due to his long shifts our sex life is pretty much nonexistent. I'm just struggling with so many emotions and I don't know how to deal with them.
How can I be there for my friend without hurting myself and my relationship (the more people I know that get pregnant the more pressure I put on my boyfriend to give me an answer on when he's going to be ready).

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 25/04/2021 19:25

I think the issue is your boyfriend. How long will you wait for him to be ready? He may never be ready.

XEm33 · 25/04/2021 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

XEm33 · 25/04/2021 22:11

Ignore me, posted in complete wrong place.

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DelphiniumBlue · 30/04/2021 18:46

Are you saying you'll struggle to conceive because of your physical issues as well as boyfriends reluctance? Or that his reluctance is the only problem?
Either way, if you are in your 30s, you've been together 8 years and he still isn't ready, then it's probably time for you to move on.

foxyroxyyy · 30/04/2021 19:06

Is your boyfriend worth the risk of never trying?! He's the problem, not your jealousy.

Asterales · 30/04/2021 19:12

In all honesty, if you've been together for 8 years and he's still "not ready" despite knowing about the issues with conceiving, if I were you I'd cut my losses and go all out to meet a man who wanted the same things as you. You're wasting your time with this one.

amusedbush · 30/04/2021 20:59

I agree that your friend’s pregnancy is a red herring here, the issue is your boyfriend. It has been eight years - I don’t think he wants kids.

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