Just broke down crying in the middle of the street

[Thelly]

I'm just done. Dh and me are having our house built, which were so fortunate to be able to do, and it's going to be so perfect and I should be grateful but I'm at breaking point. We were meant to move in January, but we were delayed until March. March came and we were delayed until May. Our house sold, we're now living in PIL's caravan. With a toddler and a dog. Said toddler is going through a nightmare age, everything is screaming tantrums and a battle. I'm drained. Can't bloody escape it. Dh and me are fine but he works so much he's not stuck in this place as much as me. I woke up this morning in yet another shitty mood, thought I'd try and get myself out of it by going straight out for a walk. The walk was a disaster, toddler just screamed and kicked off, wanted to run in the wrong direction, wanted to be carried, didn't want to be in the buggy. Wrestling a buggy, a dog, a toddler and I then get a bloody text from dh that he's spoken to the builders and realistically we're now looking at late July. I just broke down crying in the street. People came up to me to see if I was ok. I'm so embarrassed but I'm so done. I'm now back in the caravan crying even more. The house has been my saving grace through this shitty year but even the thought of that doesn't keep me going anymore as it just keeps getting further away and doesn't feel like it'll ever happen anymore

This sounds so spoilt I know. I am grateful but I just feel so suffocated

You don't sound spoilt. You sound worn out. Can dh have toddler and dog tomorrow and you escape for some alone time? End if July isn't too far. You can do it and it'll be worth it.

Let yourself have a day to be pissed off that it's been so hard and don't judge yourself!

Big big big hugs. Constant delays to life plans are horrible. You are living in limbo and it isn't a good way to be. If it were me, I'd give myself today to feel really sorry for myself and tomorrow I'd start making plans for minor changes that will make a big difference. Like could you get a dog walker or could your dog stay with a relative for a week or two? Only you can come up with these ideas, they seem small but will give you breathing room.

Thank you I feel like I can't complain but it's just so relentless. When he has tantrums you can't even walk away for a couple of minutes and get some quiet. We're all just on top of each other there's no privacy and it just feels endless. Even being in this caravan sucks as holidays have restarted and it's heaving and loud everywhere and l just want to scream.

Don’t be hard on yourself, you sound worn out.

I remember years ago being in town and crying all the way home pushing my baby who was also crying none stop.

I'm so sorry. There are people two streets away from me who appear to be living in a caravan while their amazing looking house is being built next to them. It looks like the house is going to be lush but I really feel for them. They must have been in the caravan for nearly a year? And I think I have seen plastic toys in window so assume they have kids. I want to invite them to our garden for a run around but it would look odd wouldn't it!

OP I'm so sorry for you, I know it must seem interminable but the end is there, even if it's tormenting you right now.

Toddlers are shits so any parent near you won't care about tantrums or screaming. I really feel for you.

You're perfectly entitled to feel like this. That's a mammoth amount of pressure you've got! Try see the light at the end of the tunnel though. Nearly there! 💐 x

Op, here's my life.

Moved into 15sqm caravan in the garden where we are renovating our old historical home. April 2019. Somewhat unexpectedly immediately got pregnant. Baby born in winter in caravan Jan 2020. Baby now 15 months old vivacious toddler. Still in caravan with DH and cat. House will not be completed until next year. That's three winters in this caravan.
Oh, also this is all happening abroad in a country where I barely speak the language. So no support. We have a compost toilet and we have to pump a ground water well which isn't even drinking water.

It happens 🤷🏼‍♀️

Postpartum recovery on the compost toilet - outside in the dead of January - and not having easily accessible clean drinking water was a real highlight 😉

Having a settled home is important to lots of people (me definitely) and your current living arrangements sound difficult no matter what loveliness is waiting at the end of it. And I mean this in the nicest possible way, but toddlers are little asshats . I so don't blame you for having a cry. You'll get there.

Is it possible to get a short 3 month let somewhere? You need to do some thing to relieve the stress