Mornington Crescent (socially distanced, of course)

[TheReturnOfTheMaud]

I feel the need for renewed discourse with fellow aficionados of the game of games, so in the hope that this will capture your interest, I offer a bilateral plunge to

Green Park

Many a time during the all-night MC lock-in at Cousin Hamish’s laundrette and absinthe bar, I’ve been grateful for that Boston Manor defence - literally a lifesaver that time in ‘77 when the principal oboist ran amok with the guavas. But enough of that

Hainault

@TheReturnOfTheMaud

Many a time during the all-night MC lock-in at Cousin Hamish’s laundrette and absinthe bar, I’ve been grateful for that Boston Manor defence - literally a lifesaver that time in ‘77 when the principal oboist ran amok with the guavas. But enough of that

Hainault

(Actually crying with laughter here at that one 😂😂) pulls self together Someone drag @titchy out of the bar, she's got the Lift closed at Covent Garden card tucked in her knickers again. I invoke the Hainault Defence, (Zone 4 stations out of bounds after 6pm on Thursdays unless with a manservant carrying beer: New Delhi Ratification 1907) and change direction of play to Baker St with added points for a second ear worm..

Titchy's hardly likely to be able to retrieve the lift closed card if she's wearing the customary MC dress uniform of a wetsuit accessorised with one of the Victoria and Albert Museum's less valuable crinolines, but let's hope for the best.

Hangar Lane

No lift incidents here I'll have you know - I walked up the billionty one steps aksherly....

The dress has seen better days admittedly, but the Major was far too drunk to notice. On the Snowballs again according to Samatha. As per.

Anyhoo, a quick diagonal to Southall.

Good to see you, titchy. Once the Major gets onto the snowballs, we can't take anything for granted (a lesson learnt the hard way after he hijacked the skilift at the Gstaad tournament in '91).

Willesden Junction

Fine. If we're going to play rough around the edges, I'm calling for full feathers please (anatomical location of choice, OF course) and I'm away to Portland Street with my personal titfer of choice - the busby acquired after that unfortunate contretemps in St James when we had to extricate young Lottie by the ears from the officers' mess.. Has anyone seen @VeniVidiWeeWee or has she passed out again?

Harrumph. That’s the first time my play has been described as rough around the edges, BCBG, but maybe you’re new to the game of games and so unfamiliar with some of the nuances?

Playing on obverse Murgatroyd now to

Peckham Rye

You forgot your feather boa, @TheReturnOfTheMaud so it's back to Piccadilly for you to settle your ruffled feathers The General himself taught me the finer points of the great game (including the Istanbul Lock-head Manoeuvre) while traversing the Mongolian steppes disguised as goat herders - plus a few rounds in these salubrious surroundings to keep my hand in. Onwards to Cockfosters!

Forgot my feather boa? You really need to adjust your monocle, BCBG, as I am wearing more feathers than Lola at the Copacabana (scene of an excellent late night game of MC, by the way - just knock three times and ask for Rico). But I accept the enforced move to Piccadilly and from there will sashay elegantly to

Maida Vale

Cockfosters has gone sadly downhill - my gaiters and monocle were sadly de trop. Of course, according to the Helsinki Accord, I'm allowed to change my costume as long as no one has spliced the scones yet, and so a quick sashay into my frock coat and corset for a trip to Wimbledon

Well played, BCBG. One has to be flexible and adaptable to succeed in the game of games.

Ealing Broadway

Ha! High Street Kensington with compulsory unicycle! I think you'll find that places everyone else squarely in Nidd.

Hmm. You're overlooking the Beiderbecker Convention, by which if I play a pumpernickel reverse to Berlin Friedrichstrasse I can evade nidd.

Not until Matt Hancock says you can ...