Youngest child being ignored at school

[Rustyigloo]

Morning,

I'm just trying to gain some perspective of an issue which keeps raising its head at my youngests school. She's in year 4.

She's a well behaved kid and is where she should be academically.

I never really feel like she is being noticed by her teacher.

They are a large class with quite a few kids with additional needs. The tactic to deal with this appears to be to get them outside as much as possible to get some energy out of them and to separate those who don't get along.

Yesterday she came home crying because she was deliberately tripped over by another boy but her teacher said he didn't have time to deal with it.

I know it wasn't appropriate but the class TA who is a friend of mine let slip that the teacher mentioned that he couldn't tell the difference between my dd and two other girls and gets them mixed up all of the time (he's had them since September).

The last time she received a headteachers award or anything like that was in year 1 and I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for her. Whereas the kids who either struggle academically or those who excel academically seem to get them quite frequently.

Is there such a thing as a forgotten middle group? Those that plod along and don't cause any problems so often get ignored? Or am I being far too precious and should be grateful that my child is just "getting on with it"?

There definitely is a middle group that doesn't need extra help and are no trouble but don't excel either. We moved my son to another primary years ago as he was one of these - the breaking point came when he had to sit and help another child to read the maths questions (English wasn't his first language) and when we spoke up as he was slipping behind, the teacher said 'but so-and-so has come on leaps and bounds with his help'. We sent him to a much smaller school where they were valued as individuals

There certainly is such a thing as a 'forgotten middle group'. Your school may get this as an Ofsted focus. Definitely raise it with the teacher, and if the response isn't satisfactory, with the head.

rustyigloo I understand what you are saying both my children were/are well behaved. They would have the noisy/difficult/??? Children sitting next to them.

It used to annoy my children and me.

However they are now at secondary school and can cope with anything!

Ime these children are moved around the class so that everyone gets to help/ support them

Tbh the TA should not have shared this and is stirring trouble (for herself in the long run)

Perhaps at parents evening mention your concerns and see what the teacher says?

I understand how you feel however you may feel and the worries you may have for your child.

Has it affected her development or progression?

Thank you for replying to me. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who's noticed this happens.

@Billandben444 that's ridiculous. I'm not surprised that you moved your child.

@chickadeeee yeah I agree the TA wasn't appropriate which is why I'm a bit nervous about bringing it up with the teacher as I don't want to drop her in it as she is a friend. I am glad she told me though as it confirms what I already knew.

I think it might be affecting her progression as she feels deflated when she does well at something and doesn't get recognised but also if she doesn't do well it also doesn't seem to be acknowledged. I don't think she is particularly motivated to thrive in lessons. She just coasts along, not causing any obvious problems.

We haven't got another parents evening this academic year but I think I will try and check in with her teacher. Will be interesting to see how much he knows about her.

My eldest never had this issue but she is a little more outgoing and enjoys competing in sporting activities etc.

It is tricky isn't it?

My children were annoyed but I was more bothered than them!

My son had a class that sounds similar to your dd, fortunately he has moved on to Secondary now and these kids are any distant memory. As a consequence he is quite resilient.

It depends what you would do if you find out the teacher does not know your child, would you move her? Is there another alternative? What of it happens again?

My sons class was awful and he was overlooked many times however he is a quiet lad and achieves in a different way.

Secondary school makes many kids anonymous, one of my other dc teachers misidentified her at parents evening and she was sitting in front of her

My point is how much effect it is having and whether intervention from you will help (sorry- no easy answer )

When I think of primary now tbh it is so silly and trivial in comparison to the issues that crop up at Secondary school! But I think you said you had older children? As you have said each child is so different as is each school class