Exhausted with 15 month old

[ihatemessyplay]

I have a 15 month old. I find myself feeling exhausted during the day with him, is that normal? He still has two naps and quite often on one of those naps I have a lie down. I'm guessing that's not normal?

And what exactly do you do with a 15 month old? I'm not in the uk so I go to a playgroup once a week and the park once or twice, pop to the shops etc. But other than that we're at home.

During the day I play with him, but I feel like he must get bored?? We play with blocks, a train set, balls, I try to show him puzzles and shape sorters etc. I hate messy play and crafts but I when I look up activities that seems to be mostly what comes up, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? I feel like I should be teaching him things but I don't know what.

I read that toddlers need 3 hours of physical activity a day and I thought wtf, three hours like outside at the park??

When I try to get stuff done around the house I feel guilty that I'm not playing with him. Do you play with a toddler all day?
Obviously if I didn't nap I'd get more done during that time

Sorry that went from 'I'm tired' to 'wtf do you do with a toddler'.

You're doing all the right things - does he seem bored or are you just worrying that you aren't doing enough with him so he must be bored? I wouldn't worry too much about the 3hrs of physical activity a day, toddlers are on the go constantly (mine will not sit still for love or money!). I used to read a lot to mine - she loved being chased and 'scared' so I'd hide round the corner and then jump out and chase her around the house (hands and knees as she wasn't walking then). I'd also take her out with her walker and look at different trees, gardens etc and let her explore (we wouldn't go far at all). In terms of messy play I hate it too and didn't do much with it apart from some dried pasta in pots but during the summer we would play with bottles of water outside that she could chuck everywhere. We would get lengths of sticky tape and stick them around the flat so she could scamper round and pull them down which she thought was great fun. Lots of singing and music too, I got the pots and pans out with a wooden spoon and she'd go to town banging them for a while. If youre tired, the household chores can wait, just have a lay down and not worry!

Don't worry about him getting bored, young children thrive on repetition!

They are extremely tiring, but it can also be worth getting an MOT at the GP. Childbirth can lead to low iron or thyroid or b12 levels which can cause exhaustion.

You're doing all the right things, under normal circumstances there's also soft plays and toddler groups or classes to go to, or even museums etc. Which makes things more interesting for both of you.

I find just the monotony tiring sometimes. It will change soon though and you'll reap the rewards of spending so much time with him.

You could start exploring crayons and drawing pictures for him, they love that!

Whether it's normal to feel so tired depends really on how much sleep you're getting. If he's up repeatedly in the night or you have poor sleep for other reasons then your day nap is a nice little top up. If he's a good sleeper and you're getting decent sleep at night yourself then it would be worth getting checked at the GP to see if you have any deficiencies as it isn't normal for a healthy adult to need a day nap on top of a good night sleep. Either way it probably won't be long until he drops to one nap so it would be good to get to the bottom of why you're feeling so tired and try to put steps in place so you don't need that nap.

As for what to do with him, I don't think you need to be at the park 3 hours a day but if he's walking pretty confidently it's great for him to have some outside moving around time each day. That could be just playing in the garden if you have one or walking some of the way home from the shops.

You say you don't like crafts but at this stage you just want to introduce some very low key things like mark making with crayons or felt tips. Don't feel like you have to be creating pieces of art with him, let him just explore holding a crayon and learning to scribble.

The other things you're doing sound great. Lots of reading books and singing songs is great for their language development if you don't do much of that already.

Don't feel guilty that you're not directly playing with him all the time. Things need to get done and it's good for him to learn some independent play. Consider though whether some of the things you're doing could involve him. Bleaching the loos probably not but some household jobs provide a great chance for talking and learning. Get him to help get the washing out 'can you find a sock?' and put it away. Get him involved in some elements of food preparation. If I'm cleaning the kitchen DD loves being given a damp cloth (just with water) and she joins in cleaning the floor and cupboards. She thinks she's being helpful and it keeps her amused for ages :)

Sending hugs, this age can be really hard! My little one is 16 months and some times I also nap in the day if he’s had a bad nights sleep the night before.

I do try and get him out at least once a day, it’s usually twice though. It’s easier now places and toddler groups are reopening. We tend to do one in the morning and then play at home or the play park / walk later on in the afternoon. I couldn’t stay at home all day with him - I find it so hard going!

Some of his favourite things to do at home are:
Ball pit
Reading books in his tent
Putting on songs and him playing his musical instruments to them, shaking his maraca etc.
Colouring using wax crayons.
Garden play - sand pit, pottering around in the play house, painting the fence with water.
Play kitchen and a big bag of play food.

We also do quite a bit of messy play when I can be bothered to clear up the mess. Easy messy play ideas could be the paint sticks - far less messy than proper paint, dry pasta or rice with various pots, spoons etc. I’ve also seen paint made using natural yoghurt and letting them play with it in the bath so all the mess is contained and super easy to clean the area and them afterwards!

I also feel guilty that I have to do jobs with him around but I do feel that being able to play independently is a really important skill for children to develop. some times I put him in his play pen with some toys and leave him whilst I do some housework, other times he helps me, putting clothes in and out of the washing machine, ‘hanging’ up clothes, using his toy hoover whilst I Hoover.

The days are sometimes so long and it’s a tricky age. They never stop but nothing seems to hold interest for very long!

Sounds to me like you're doing a great job. You're worrying a bit too much, probably.
It's years since I had mine, but I remember the days ! I thrive on structure, so always had a timetable ( visual one for toddler to see), which included food times, naps, play ( independent, too), so I could see what I was doing. It also helped me get through the day when I was losing the will to live.

Thank you everyone. I think I've had a few days of what is my life anymore, I don't do anything but be a mum and it's had me down. I rarely have adult conversation without kids around and I think I'm lacking motivation as I find everything so monotonous.
On top of that is the guilt that I don't do enough with him and am failing him. He's a very loved, much wanted baby. I just didn't expect this age to be so difficult.
I love going out places in general but with a toddler it's so hard going. The packing, the organising, the nappies, the tantrums, the constant food and mess.

I deffo had a nap when my boy slept!

I started back at work when my boy was 13mo this and he is loving nursery. I put him in three days and my parents have him the fourth and I was off the Friday and had him but honestly he is so keen to go on the Friday Ive just added that day on as well.
Could you put him to a nursery even a couple of mornings a week? That gives him something new to do and socialise and gives you a rest

I think most people do nap when baby/ toddler does or at least catch up on Netflix!

It is relentless. No one really prepares you for that.

I used to listen the the radio a lot; having blue tooth and iplayers or podcasts helps now.

Find some sort of class you can go to when things open up, just for you. Exercise or otherwise. Also, when baby classes start up again, find one you'll enjoy too. Eg in an art gallery etc, where there are things for too! Treat yourself to nice coffees when out.

It does get better; I think this stage really is the hardest.