Someone help me before I go bananas

[threenagerhell]

Hi

Was wondering what discipline you use for your 3yos?

My DS was 3 early this year. He is quite a needy child since he was born in the sense that they need entertaining 24/7. Very bright child. Enjoys nursery and plays well with others.

Always been very well behaved. Good manners, good at following instructions etc

However since they turned 3 We've got to the point where he won't listen. Won't follow instructions. Shouting back. Answering back. Nasty comments, back chat What the usual toddler stuff is (I think????🤔) although they're not really tantrums. Just won't listen. Defiant. Always has to have the last word. I just don't feel in control anymore.

I've been told he's an angel for nursery. Angel for my mum when he goes for a play date over there. But just a fucker at home!!

I've tried time out. Removal of toys. Leaving xyz place early. I don't like to shout. But obviously we all lose our shit every now again but doesn't happen often.

I've ordered a personalised discapline chart/reward chart with specific goals. But it won't come for another few weeks

What discapline do you use on your toddler and what do you find works best?

I'm hoping the reward chart will help as it's more visual.

I've gone from loving being a mum to a happy (despite needy and full on) lovely toddler to a little monster and I just don't feel like a fun happy mum any more

Sorry v rambly and probably full of spelling mistakes! But I really do feel like I'm going bald from stress.

Same age child. Going through the same.
My late nan always said 'school gets the best of them: ie always good for others

We put her in her room for 5 min when misbehaves to the point of needing discipline.

If it's things like being demanding and rude.. We ignore. We pretend we can't hear rude girls.
She soon changes her attitude.

They understand more than we think about behaviour.
Mine has teen siblings which she copies lots of their things which doesn't help.

I use time toy time outs as my son thinks it is very funny to go to time out. I also use a speacail box that if he does certain things like pick up toys he can put a ball into the box and when he’s collected enough when we go shopping he gets to chose a toy or some treat. If he’s being really naughty the. A ball will get taken out of the box. He understands a lot more than I realised . Things are getting a bit better since doing this. It can be so hard can’t it.

@BluntlySpoken thanks for your reply

Time out used to work really well. He just doesn't care for it anymore it doesn't have any effect.

Yes I've tried that too. Can't hear rude children they're not nice. He'll just reply well don't talk to me mummy because YOURE RUDE

Honestly gives me a silent internal rage

We've just been to IKEA. He wasn't listening. Moaning. Being rude. Disrespectful so I said I'd return his magazine to the shops that I'd bought earlier. He told me he was sorry for being naughty and can we be friends now!!!!

I've stuck to my word and hid the magazine for now but he seems to have forgotten about it altogether!!

In one sense it is a relief that he's a good boy at school and for other people

I hate 3.
I sucks.

@Buzlightyear1

Thanks this is a good idea!

I did make her a reward jar with little
Gold plastic coins a while ago but I think I introduced it too early as she didn't quite understand

I might retry that and see how I go. Maybe a chart with pictures of what is expected will help too

@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou amen!

honestly just like a switch has gone. One minute he's an angel two year old. Once he turned 3 it was like a light went on and the attitude came out! I honestly feel like I have a teenager at home

Also ridiculous amounts of praise on the rare times they're behaving and try to minimise attention and responses to bad behaviour otherwise they start to see misbehaving as an easy way to get your attention .

[quote threenagerhell]@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou amen!

honestly just like a switch has gone. One minute he's an angel two year old. Once he turned 3 it was like a light went on and the attitude came out! I honestly feel like I have a teenager at home [/quote]
Yes exactly the same with my two boys.
And I have another boy now 6 months off turning 3.

Mine became like this at 3. Magically changed when he turned 4! (Well, most of the time).
Never had a problem with the 2s..
Getting him outside used to help, if you have a garden. Sometimes literally just plonking him through the patio doors and chucking a ball after him.

I don't want to burst your bubble but DD did not respond to a reward chart/ visual system in any way!! We used reins, or hold my hand, when naughty if out. At home I would put her in her cot and I always used a count to 3 and still do at 7 but I rarely get to 2 these days. I also would take her home, they need an instant punishment and being picked up and taken to the car to go home is very understandable.