[quote SteveBuscemisRheumyEye]@AccidentallyOnPurpose no I completely see you weren't being a dick. I'm just quite sensitive as I feel like I've tried everything and introduced so many things for her to do, but she's just not interested.
She has very serious separation anxiety, hence clubs are a no go. Most clubs won't let me stay. I think she's been put off by me making her go to things when she was a bit smaller, so now point blank refuses. Pushing it results in meltdown.
On screens she plays minecraft and Roblox, and watches YouTube of other people playing these games.
She doesn't like being outside, walks, scooter, park etc. She does like swimming and did go to swimming lessons for a while a couple of years ago, but then moved up a group and was frightened by the teacher (very gruff manner), and so has been put off lessons completely.
Sorry I'm not remembering who said what, but I do like the idea of a visual timetable planned at the start of the week - she very much needs to know what is happening which is why I think "no iPad, find something to do" would be setting us up to fail. Too late for this week (as she's obs asleep now!) but we can spend some time after school thinking tomorrow maybe (though I expect "there is nothing to do" will be the answer!).[/quote]
Pools are open now, could you /DH take her swimming one afternoon? Not lessons, but just play and splash about and float and have some fun. Even better see if she'd like someone from her class to join.
Would she like playing roblox with some of her classmates? Does she have any friends on it? DD spent a lot of time in lockdown face timing friends and they went on roblox together and role played. Ofc I had to chase mums around to get account names /phone numbers but it eventually worked.
Can you suggest a walk in the woods with a classmate or going to the park? Obviously with you tagging along.
Mini golf as a family, and bring another child if you can?
Keep it casual, you'll probably have to be there a lot which means so much more work for you. Start small, one outing per week and build up on it.
If none of these are possible and you have the time and the will.. can you ask her about her games? Ask her to show you her houses, her pets etc. Ask if you can create an outfit. Can you join her in her games? If you can't bring her out into the world, can you at least join in hers? Watch some of the youtube videos with her. Suggest something new. Maybe show her some of the craft/drawing channels (Moriah Elizabeth is quite funny) then encourage her to try some too.If you know and understand more about what she likes and her interests you can tailor activities around them, you might be able to pick kids that are interested in the same things too from her class.
Are you guys keyworkers ? Has she been in school at all during the lockdowns?
A lot of the adults i know have forgotten how to socialise or are anxious about it, even more so a young girl with ASD on top too.
Ask the teacher for help too and see if they have an insight into her friendships/relationships at school.
It's a fucking exhausting battle I'll give you that, especially since it'll have to be done in baby steps and ensuring she feels safe and secure.