Will I ever get over being raped?

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

It’s so many years, and it’s never far from my mind or dreams.

So many years ago, and I still can’t believe it’s part of my story.

I think it’s part of my DNA now 😞

Im so sorry you’re going through this, OP. Have you had much support? I have had a lot of mental health interventions over the years but far and away what made the most difference was EMDR. It massively decreased how jumpy I am, how affected I am by flashbacks, and the strength of my emotional response to triggers. It really really helped.

I wouldn’t say I’m “over it” because of course it still affects me, and I won’t watch things with rape in them (except SVU which I find oddly soothing) and I occasionally still have dreams. But overall, I am happy in my life and it doesn’t wreck me day to day like it used to. So yes, I would say it is possible ans there is always hope xx

I still can’t quite believe it happened. 😓

Have you tried emdr? It gets worse before it gets better. But it helps many people

I’m 3 years in and still fighting the case, but yes.

It doesn’t go away of course it doesn’t but with good mental health help it becomes a part of life which shapes your boundaries and outlook. It’s just part of the history that makes me me of that makes sense? I’m sad to have lost my niavety and innocence to bad things, but I’m happy with the fight I’m taking on to shape others experience and the strength of mind and knowing myself I have now.

Allow it to be part of a stronger you

I was helped an awful lot by DH, who has had therapy himself in the past. Once he realised how much it was affecting me, he sat me down and convinced me that it wasn't my fault, that I didn't 'give out the wrong signals', or whatever. So things do still trigger me occasionally, but not nearly as often as they used to. I don't take it personally so much if there's violence to a woman on film. It's no longer a heavy weight on me. I would say to you to get therapy. Xx

Almost 40 years ago for me, OP, and no, despite copious talking therapy, EMDR etc — but you learn to live more easily with it. Pregnancy gave me horrible flashbacks, though. You might want to factor that in and set in place some extra support, if you have t had a child but think you might in future.

I just feel like crap that my psyche never forgets 😢

35 years on, it is not something you get over as such, it is a bit like grieving for someone you've lost, it very slowly becomes easier to live with, so slowly you don't even realise. I still think about it often and wish it hadn't happen or I had done something to get help so it hadn't impacted me for so long, but it doesn't upset me anymore.

It's been 25 years ago for me, and I would say I'm over it. I don't think about it much and I have a happy and healthy sex life with DH. I haven't had counselling for it or ever mentioned it to anyone, but I did report it immediately to the police. I never did get justice but I think it did help to disclose it. And I know that the perpetrator did get locked up for the same crime (but against someone else) so I think of that his punishment for my crime as well. In my case it was a 'date rape' type of incident... I do think I would be more traumatised by a more physically violent street crime type of incident.

Well, it is part if your story now. That's never going to change, but with therapy and time it shouldn't be front and centre of your mind any more.

Therapy and support are very important. and do really help a lot of people. But the replies from the others on the thread, resonate with me, it has happened, it can't be undone or "fixed", like a lot of things in life.

I hope there is someone you can talk to?

On the practical side of things, I'd recommend to read: The Body Keeps the Score (you'll find it on Amazon, excellent rating). It will help explain what you are feeling and why, and that it's expected and normal, but treatment/support can help.

In my case it was a stranger, so I don't know the person. Working as a GP, I've learned that if the person is still in your life it makes it less likely and slower to disappear into the past.

Take care, and please seek out support. You deserve it, and it will help you a lot.

I’ve been raped hundreds of times. I am in therapy and have been for years. I also live a happy, lovely life. It will never ever go away but it is not front and centre. I don’t just live with it, I live beyond it.
Healing has been transformative. Therapy and yoga work for me.

Thanks all.

For your kind words and your wisdom☺️

Sending you love OP

Please do seek some real life support for what happened. Over a decade later that is what I am currently doing. It’s very tough but has also been extremely helpful, and the upset is more purposeful if that makes sense?