Is having an August baby really so terrible?

[SunflowerOwl]

I'm expecting my first DD in late August. I'm so excited and thrilled.

But people keep telling me I should 'keep my legs crossed' until September as summer babies are at a massive disadvantage when they start school, they will be a year younger etc.

Aside from the fact that theres very little I can do about when she decides to arrive, is it really so terrible? People are starting to make me feel like I've set my child up to fail already and it's making me feel pretty crap.

No. My DD was born in August and she’s always excelled at school. She’s in an advanced group for both maths and English. The only thing she hates about her birthday is having to wait so long for it compared to her friends, otherwise it’s never affected her.

Mine struggled, was bright academically but the social side was increasibly a nightmare. Fine for the first few years when her peers thought she was "cute" and they treated her like a baby sister, but the older she got the more socially sophisticated they became and she was utterly lost. I would 100% definitely hold back an August born child now that it's allowed. A teacher I recently met told me she had never seen a child at a disadvantage by being a little bit older, but had seen an awful lot struggle being the youngest.

I really think it evens out - two of the highest achieving academics I know are summer birthdays. I think it matters more that you read with your child / support school work than which month they were born. I know preschoolers that are better at recognising numbers / letters than some kids in reception / y1.

Mines early August, started school last year just after she turned 4 and she's ahead than a lot of her class. Each child is different, doesn't matter which month they are born. All the best in your pregnancy

What @MrsAvocet said.

@ineedaholidayandwine

Mines early August, started school last year just after she turned 4 and she's ahead than a lot of her class. Each child is different, doesn't matter which month they are born. All the best in your pregnancy

How do you know they are ahead? I don't doubt your Dc is doing great, but does your teacher say this? My DS's reception teacher never mentions any comparisons to others. They need to learn 100 words by the end of year and my DS is on 70, but for all I know others might be on 100 or finished ages back. I think my DS is doing ok, he's not doing the extension work I could see on the sheets and teams for lockdown, but I don't know how many children are. We have a class whatsapp, but it's never about that.

Just wondering do teachers generally say your child is top of the class or bottom?

Both my DDs (born in late July and early August) went through their whole school life being within the top few of the year. They are both competitive and hard working. They never had problems emotionally either. One of my DDs had a friend who was September born, so 11 months older. She was nowhere near as academic as my DD. August is a great month for a birthday weather wise too.

I have an August and a September DS. They're in yr 1 and 2 and it is a bit difficult as there's such a huge difference in ability, but only a single school year between them. It's disheartenimg for the younger one. My August DS has hearing loss though, which might be more significant.

@hamandcgeese I thought it was BS when people on mumsnet claim their kid is top of the class, I thought teachers couldn’t say things like that. But a couple of DSs teachers have said it at parents evenings. I think at reception they are positive and kind about everyone so I didn’t take it seriously at first

On a thread where statistically summer born children struggle a bit more, it seems that only parents of bright children who didn't struggle have posted.

And yes I'm guilty of that as well
I still maintain that it matters more for some socially in year 13.

@RampantIvy
I noticed this but (I'm guilty too) but wonder if it's more to give the OP reassurance that it's not a forgone conclusion they will struggle at school.

my DS is one of the oldest in the school year, and is nearly a year older than DD was at each stage of school. However he would have really struggled if he'd have had to start school a month after he was 4, rather than almost 5.

I have a July born ds. He was my first and I poured love and attention into him.

But he had developmental delay and ASD. He didn't walk until 2.5 years and didn't talk until 3. At the time you could not defer. The only choice was sending a year late into year 1 which would have been disastrous.

So I sent my just 4 year old, barely verbal son to school. He had no clue what was going on, he couldn't really dress himself. No idea of letters. He could recite numbers but didn't really have an idea of numbers.

They started him off writing. He couldn't write at all really for 3 years, but he tried hard. Turns out he has bad dyspraxia and due to being started off to early writing has developed a thumb wrap grip which is dysfunctional and we can't really change change now, so he will never write well.

He's always been socially a bit behind his peers and naturally gravitated to similar summer born boys.

He worked hard and we worked hard and we managed to get him from below expectations in all areas up to meeting expectations. Tried the Kent test, failed by 14 marks. I looked round lots of other schools but the provision for him was not great. So with family financial help we have scraped together and sent him to private school. I put him back into year 6 in the junior school so that he is now eldest in his year, rather than youngest. He is doing really well and I am phenomenally proud of him.

But I'm very angry he had to start when he did. He has always had to struggle. He has always known he is behind his peers. I firmly believe he could have passed the Kent test the next year, which would have saved us 100k +

But you can defer now! Statistically summer borns are disadvantaged academically. Boys more than girls because they mature later anyway, so asking a just turned 4 boy to sit down and pay attention is more of an ask that a just turned 4 girl (in general). But you can monitor your child, see if she is ready and defer if not. I personally would have defer as the default position, rather than the other way around, but that is my personal experience at play.

Not sure why deferring is seen as a 'pushy parent' option. It just seems like good parenting to me to make a choice that would lessen your child's struggle.

@RampantIvy

On a thread where statistically summer born children struggle a bit more, it seems that only parents of bright children who didn't struggle have posted.

And yes I'm guilty of that as well
I still maintain that it matters more for some socially in year 13.

Where do you draw the line though? Someone is always going to be the youngest in a friendship group. Those born in May and June will have those issues too.

But if you allow deferring, which they now do, you stagger the difference. So the August born kids who are really ready do go that year, maybe some June born who are really not are deferred, then as you go back through the year the proportion of children 'ready' increases until you have none being deferred maybe from around april?

Makes more sense to me than a cliff edge cut off where all children born before that date are deemed ready by virtue is their age rather than their development.

The only concern I would have is that it might promote inequality. As if you are better off you are more able to defer your child, thus further advantaging already economically advantaged kids, whereas if you are less well off financially you may choose not to defer your child, thus further disadvantaging already disadvantaged kids.

I think the issue is less about being the youngest in the class and more about being so young. We start school very early in the U.K. - only 12% of countries in the world start school at 4, and all but one of them are ex members of the British Empire - the most common school starting age is 6.

I agree with that @skeggycaggy - although my son was young in the year, he was still 5 when he started school, so not actually all that young.

I think it really depend on a child. If confident and advanced, going to school early could be a good thing. But if not, it could be hard for a child to be surrounded by older kids always trying to catch up.

DS3 is August 25(( born on due date)
I felt a bit strange knowing he was at school aged 4 and one week
He was physically tired at first( picked up with buggy for first couple of weeks. He did really well and is now at Uni

They can sometimes struggle a bit a first, not necessarily academically but often socially and they can find school very tiring. It seems to even out over time though and makes very little difference by the time they get to GCSEs. It also very much depends on the child. My brother was born early September, but massively struggled at school. It would have been even worse if he’d been born late August. However, both of my children are September babies and I think they’d have been fine if born in August.

I have a DD and a DS both August born. DD was certainly more ready than DS, she has sailed through no problems at all.

DS is currently in reception, he wasn't really ready when he started in terms of emotional maturity and concentration skills. But he has coped well and is thoroughly happy. Academically, I'm sure he will be fine.

We had this constantly when DS was due "but what will you do about school? He'll only be 4!", he was born mid August. Started school in September 2020 and is doing fine! I know statistically they say August babies don't do as well, but someone has to be youngest in the year!

As an aside, I'm an end of August baby and was in top set for everything at secondary school (stealth brag ), so I truly don't think it's always an issue. I do think I struggled a bit with making friends in reception, but I've always been shy so might just be that.

I also had a friend who very smugly told me she'd planned a September baby for this exact reason... she was born at 32 weeks so that didn't work out too well!

Why are people posting that you're allowed to defer now. You're not, you're allowed to ask for a deferral. The head will then say that the teacher is able to manage a range of abilities in reception and turn down your request. Those saying LAs are involved in this; as far as I'm aware with academy trusts it's down to the head, who have no incentive to agree to a defferal.

I'm sorry but as one of the few parents who posted on here with kids who seriously struggled because they were 20% younger than the oldest in the class when they started, who struggled all the way through primary and frankly got lied to by teaching staff who said they could teach to meet his needs, when he couldn't write or even read the bloody questions for Year 2 stats, I'd say to be very wary of everyone on here who parented an August born Einstein because, in our experience with a class where half of the kids were summer born, schools actually can't manage their needs. As a lady said up-post, they teach to the majority, so the September borns get bored and the summer borns [generally] struggle, especially if put in mixed year classes with the year above.

@TrainWhistleChoir

Why are people posting that you're allowed to defer now. You're not, you're allowed to ask for a deferral. The head will then say that the teacher is able to manage a range of abilities in reception and turn down your request. Those saying LAs are involved in this; as far as I'm aware with academy trusts it's down to the head, who have no incentive to agree to a defferal.

I'm sorry but as one of the few parents who posted on here with kids who seriously struggled because they were 20% younger than the oldest in the class when they started, who struggled all the way through primary and frankly got lied to by teaching staff who said they could teach to meet his needs, when he couldn't write or even read the bloody questions for Year 2 stats, I'd say to be very wary of everyone on here who parented an August born Einstein because, in our experience with a class where half of the kids were summer born, schools actually can't manage their needs. As a lady said up-post, they teach to the majority, so the September borns get bored and the summer borns [generally] struggle, especially if put in mixed year classes with the year above.

Lots of people successfully sent their children to reception at 5. Look at the Facebook group 'flexible school admissions for summer born children'. The LA is often the decision maker, it depends on the school type and the process in each specific LA area regarding who controls school admissions. Some LAs also have a guaranteed acceptance scheme sometimes where you don't even need to request it, you just apply the following year (my LA has this policy and we will be doing this). It is a postcode lottery but in many areas it's not a difficult process.

I'm a late August baby. Didn't do me any harm - I got the top grades in my school at GCSEs

When DD started school in 2005, children with birthdays between January and August started in the January. Her school was a small village school with mixed year classes and was outstanding in every way. They also had excellent SATS results. Is a January intake not possible these days?