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Original poster

Planning and paying for your own funeral

17 replies

EnglishRain · 17/04/2021 14:24

Has anybody planned and paid for their own funeral, and if so, please could you share how you have done it?

I am reasonably young and don't want to pay a firm if they might go bankrupt and the funds be lost, for example. But is that the only way to do it? Equally I don't want DD to have to agonise over having to plan my funeral or about having the funds to pay for it.

I would appreciate any experiences and thoughts from others. Sorry it's a morbid one, I lose someone close recently and it has made me think about this and what to do what I can to make it all easier when the time comes.

OP posts:
Wetcappuccino · 17/04/2021 14:26

We are paying for our funeral with a local undertaker (in our 40s). We picked a plan that is insured by Golden Charter. If you go on their website, you can select local ones that are covered by them.

Mydogisagentleman · 17/04/2021 14:52

My parents got me and DH one for Xmas a couple of years ago.
Fabulous idea, except we are planning to retire to Spain

SittingAround1 · 17/04/2021 14:53

My (very organised) grandmother had a separate joint account with my DM specifically to pay for her funeral. Although I think they changed things and your family is allowed to release funds from your estate to pay for a funeral.

The best is to tell family members your wishes beforehand.
Also sorting out your will will help enormously. My DM has told me where she wants to be buried and has a folder with her will and all financial details in it to simplify things.

Longdistance · 17/04/2021 14:54

I used to sell funeral plans as part of my previous job. Normally to over 50’s. They’re actually a good way of paying for your funeral up front. I sold Dignity funeral plans.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 17/04/2021 16:17

My DMil had her funeral planned, plot secured, grave care organized and all payed for when she turned 80. She turned 96 yesterday and no longer cares for these things or anything else.

constantsnaxking · 17/04/2021 16:24

Yes I'm having a direct cremation

MrsFezziwig · 17/04/2021 16:34

Although I think they changed things and your family is allowed to release funds from your estate to pay for a funeral.

Generally if there are funds in your bank account (which obviously will be frozen when you die) if you take the funeral expenses bill to the bank they will pay it directly to the undertaker. I don’t think they will pay for associated stuff like catering for a wake, though. A funeral plan is even easier but if you have one with a local undertaker you will need to be pretty certain you’re going to die locally (sorry!).

chipsndippy · 17/04/2021 16:36

In laws have both done it through co op, it was a pretty straightforward process, they paid for the whole thing rather than some sort of monthly plan, and it will probably save a fortune as the prices will go up.

Maryann1975 · 17/04/2021 16:39

A few years ago, a close friend of ours died quite young. They had no funds to pay for the funeral and it was very stressful for the family. Dh and I Then made a joint savings account with enough money in it to pay for funerals, so that which ever one of us was left would not have to worry about paying for what needed to be paid for in that situation.
I’m sure there are better ways to do it, but for us at the moment, that suits us.

We were advised to buy funeral plans for my dgp’s as they were moving in to care homes and Paying for their own care. Either they paid for funerals in advance, or it could get to the point where all their savings had gone and the family had to pay for it, so makes sense to pay from their own money really.

I think as well as paying for your funeral, it’s important to discuss what you want to happen. If you have strong wishes for burial or cremation, what music you want playing, favourite readings, flowers. If you don’t feel able to discuss it, write it down and put the requests somewhere for you dd (but make sure they know to look before they do any of the planning, do not put it in your will Or leave it somewhere hidden, by the time that’s read, it will be too late).

Springisspringing2 · 17/04/2021 16:39

It depends How much money you have in the baNk they usually relaease it to executors if its under 50g

Springisspringing2 · 17/04/2021 16:43

Op I would open up special account for this.. Let your loved ones know and roughly work out the cost of what you want

I strongly recommend looking at the good funeral guide which helps to rate funeral directors.. Get an idea of flowers, coffins etc.
The plot will cost.. The officiant

Church donation.

The wake.

Personally, I wouldn't bother with expensive coffin, and spend money on flowers, music.. And wake.
Oh and large picture of you, usually can print own order of service and choose a photo too.

Memorable funerals are the quirky ones, unique..

Springisspringing2 · 17/04/2021 16:43

And I wouldn't bother with a pre paid plan unless you can afford it.. They don't have to be expensive to be memorable

DonLewis · 17/04/2021 16:49

Funerals cost at least 2k and then the sky is the limit. The average is about 4k.

My factory worker grandmother set up plans for her, my grandad, my mum and my dad. Initially with the pearl, but obviously, it changed hands but the money was still there. So not with a funeral home direct. Miraculously it paid for both funerals, almost to the penny.

I remember her putting the £1.50 in a brown envelope (x4) each month and the pearl man would knock on the door and she'd pay him. What foresight! Especially considering they were quite poor.

Me and dh need to do the same. It was bloody handy because neither my mum or dad died with enough money to pay for funerals otherwise.

Effinell · 17/04/2021 16:55

Me and DH have had ours planned and paid in full since our early 30s as we have a disabled DD who wouldn't be able to plan and pay for our funerals and a DS that probably couldn't be arsed to HmmGrin

We have a plan with the co-op so our funerals can be at any co-op should we move away from where we live now.

whiteroseredrose · 17/04/2021 16:59

DH and I are getting one with Dignity - our local funeral directors are with them. If we move house we can change the funeral directors. If they go bankrupt the money is insured. All DC will have to do is pick up the phone.

Original poster
EnglishRain · 17/04/2021 19:46

Thanks so much everyone, this has been really helpful. My brother's funeral has cost nearly £6k and that's for cremation and nothing fancy.

I would happily have a direct cremation but I don't know if DD may benefit from a funeral service and she's too young to ask currently. I don't care about music or anything, when I'm dead I'm gone and that's that. Don't think I want anyone to see me dead either, and if I make that known people won't wrestle with whether they should see me or not either hopefully. DH knows my wishes too.

OP posts:
mackvic4 · 06/07/2021 10:48

I helped my mum to plan her funeral after my grandad died as it was very stressful for her to organise and she didn’t want me to be stressed like she was. I found this guide really helpful online
capitallife.com/funeral-planning/ covered everything that we needed to think about and broke down the process for us. Her funeral plan is now set up and she’s paying £40 a month so that when she dies it will all be taken care of. Really good idea but I would say do your research on who you take out with and make sure you know exactly what is in the plan as I have heard some horror stories recently.

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