Bonkers Neighbour. Tell me about yours.

[FakeColinCaterpillar]

Sorry long.
We have a long time neighbour. We had a good relationship for a long time. To be honest she was always a pain but we put up with it to keep the peace.The relationship was very much based on us doing things for her (she’s about 20 years older and widowed). Which was fine but she had becoming more demanding in the last few years, and really complaining if DH wouldn’t do odd jobs for her immediately, because he was at work etc.we also cared for her after operations and illness.

She has one child. I would say the relationship is abusive. She is obsessed by them and although elderly does most of their washing/cleaning and childcare even though they live over an hour away (they ask her to leave when they don’t need her and don’t ever invite her just to socialise). The child isn’t interested in her if they aren’t doing something useful but she is desperate for their approval and attention.

So 18 months ago she orchestrated a falling out with us over nothing. I think she did it to gain attention from their child (to get involved in the argument etc. Child didn’t and the times I’ve seen them they have been super nice to me). The problem is she was vile to DH, the things she said were really horrible (he's a super nice guy, really no need, he was very hurt). He actually tried to make amends but it was rejected.

So we stopped speaking. This is fine for us. We don’t need her and honestly the break from the constant demands are a relief. I now notice she has to call in workmen to do all the things DH would normally do. DH did try and say hello at the start of last year and she was extremely rude and that was it for him.
Now she seems to be constantly angry, and trying to be annoying. She’s started playing music loudly or banging things if we are outside (literally banging a piece of wood), she’s thrown dirt over outside furniture and now has started trying to block our car in or making it awkward to get ours out, bangs on the walls for no reason, throws rubbish over.

The problem is what she does is never enough to really complain (we are getting outside security cameras) and I don’t want to move. She’s just a constant mild fucking irritation. I know people have worse neighbours, please tell me about them.

Poor DH. Very hurtful -to you both- after all you have done for her. I know you said around 20 years older but what sort of age is she?

I’ve not had bonkers neighbours just awful noisy ones. Happily detached these days, although the extra on the mortgage sometimes keeps me awake at night. Hopefully your neighbour will get bored soon and stop.

Our NDN's directly opposite to us have a large patio at the back of their house, complete with pergola, lights, heater etc. So we couldn't really hear their parties as long as we kept the windows shut... we were just disturbed when their guests left.

The NDN to the side of them unsurprisingly complained about the noise, so now they've put a massive awning/canopy attached to the front of their house and have covered their front garden with a patio. They've moved the lights/heater etc all round to the front. And it's horrific. If we get to sleep before 2am on a weekend night, we're blessed. I have spoken to the council but as it's not an actual structure, there's duck all we can do other than keep a noise log. The worst part is that they are in their late 50s............old enough to know better

@Youdontknowwhatyoureonabout she’s in her 70s

@ConnieCaterpillar70 are we married? They sound like total dicks by the way.

Our downstairs neighbour, short bloke in his 70s with a bit of a Napoleon complex (verbally bullies anyone who doesn't agree with his right-wing views) has parked a very old campervan below our window in the private car park where he 'entertains' ladies-of-the-night. These encounters are usually during the day and the camper bounces about as long as the viagra lasts. They eventually emerge into the daylight and she cabs it home. He bleats on about surviving on a pension but he must be better at managing his than most. He is a nasty little man and I'm starting to really hate him.

OMG you win

Ha! I'm sure there'll be worse along later

Upstairs neighbour moved in. We have a shared lift even though the building is only 4 floors. I used it a few weeks ago when I was taking rubbish down. She was at the bottom with loads of boxes. I say “oh hi are you moving in upstairs?” And she proceeds to tell me that as she is moving in over the next few days to try and limit how much I am using the lift as they NEED it. Okayyyy then

Happily this is several houses ago now. Our first home, bought an ex-rental where evicted tenants had TRASHED it (every internal door broken, stuff smeared up walls, animals had soiled carpets, old mattresses in back garden...). After a lot of scrubbing and painting, it was great. But the neighbours on one side were hugely into very loud reggae. Very quiet woman, very loud massive bloke.

Bloke came round waving a cricket bat one day accusing us of calling the police on him after several all night music sessions. We pointed out he was mid-terrace, surrounded by houses who would have been disturbed. It was genuinely like this had never occurred to him. He shrugged gave us his cricket bat and walked away. He never came to ask for it back

Happily the woman had a baby, and from the looks of it a shit-hot HV, because within a few weeks the police and council came and seized the music equipment and speakers, among other stuff. Peace at last, and hopefully saved the baby's hearing!