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Original poster

How do you deal with colleagues who interrupt and talk over you?

16 replies

Cheekyweegobshite · 15/04/2021 14:08

My manager just came over to ask me a question. One of my colleagues who was nearby answered instead - he does have some involvement in this area, so maybe fair enough. However, the answer he gave was wrong so I gave my manager the correct information. While I was answering, the same colleague interrupted me and started to give his opinion. This happens with this colleague on a fairly regular basis and previously I have stopped talking, allowed him to finish and then carried on. Recently I have started getting pretty fucked off by this behaviour and have carried on talking, slightly increasing the volume of my voice to be heard. On this occasion, colleague just kept on going so I ended up moving so that I almost had my back to him and continued talking, starting to get a bit embarrassed, until colleague finally shut up.

He looked pretty cross and I felt rather rude. Is there a better way to deal with this?

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 15/04/2021 14:12

I speak progressively louder until they're drowned out. it's the only way with stupid, rude people.

No good waiting your turn....they don't wait theirs. Let him look cross the arsehole. The only other way is to say in a ringing tone "I HADN'T FINISHED SPEAKING SO PLEASE WAIT YOUR TURN!" Which is more aggressive but gets the point over.

Herbie0987 · 15/04/2021 14:13

You could tell him you were taught, it is rude to interrupt.

AmandaHoldensLips · 15/04/2021 14:20

Say to him politely but forcefully, "I'm speaking."
Keep repeating until he stops interrupting you.

Here is the masterclass version from Kamala Harris... watch and learn...

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OutComeTheWolves · 15/04/2021 14:24

Definitely channel Kamala. I love that clip and the fact that she's really nice about it makes it hard to criticise her.

If you don't mind letting me finish needs to be your new catchphrase.

Original poster
Cheekyweegobshite · 15/04/2021 20:21

Love that clip of Kamala. I need to practise in front of the mirror before I try that though, I suspect I would just end up roaring "I AM SPEAKING!!!" Grin

OP posts:
strawberrie · 15/04/2021 20:34

I work in a primary school, and have worked hard on a strong, clear, "I'm speaking" for children who interrupt when I'm in the middle of talking to another child/group. Channel your inner primary school teacher!

Bigpinkslippers · 15/04/2021 20:51

Many years ago I used to have a bad habit of jumping in and answering for others until a colleague turned to me and said Bigpink, I'm perfectly capable of answering for myself, I will ask if I need your input. I was mortified but it did make me realise what it was doing and cured my bad habit instantly.

FortunesFave · 16/04/2021 00:11

@Bigpinkslippers

Many years ago I used to have a bad habit of jumping in and answering for others until a colleague turned to me and said Bigpink, I'm perfectly capable of answering for myself, I will ask if I need your input. I was mortified but it did make me realise what it was doing and cured my bad habit instantly.
My DH had the same habit...not finishing for people but just talking over them to get his thoughts out. He'd never been pulled up about it but after a few times of him doing it to me, I pulled him up as he was doing it...I said "STOP! Why are you talking over me? I hadn't finished my sentence, it was plain that I hadn't"

And he at first denied that he did this...but realised after another couple of incidents that he did and that he'd always done it. He was mortified too...he did it because he'd think of something and be afraid he'd forget it or that the conversation would move on before he had a chance.

He has retained himself now. He has ADHD too which probably didn't help him.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 16/04/2021 00:47

I used to be terrible for this and wonder if it's part of my ADHD now since been diagnosed. As soon as I realised that people must find it annoying I made a conscious effort not to do it and am now very good at holding back. I make notes instead of saying it out loud and take a second before I speak, always, to think am I really adding to this conversation AND do I need to do so right now? It's hard though, it feels like ideas are spilling out of me and the feeling is almost like needing to sneeze and trying to stop it, or having an itch and not being allowed to scratch it! I never did it in a way designed to outdo or silence others, but whatever the motivation I realised the effect was the same and wasn't on. Maybe you could actually say to them one on one that it's something you find challenging and would appreciate them letting you finish when you're speaking. They might be embarrassed enough to at least try? They might also be an arsehole who wants to hold court of course!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 16/04/2021 00:47

Since being diagnosed.

Original poster
Cheekyweegobshite · 16/04/2021 06:30

Maybe you could actually say to them one on one that it's something you find challenging and would appreciate them letting you finish when you're speaking.

I think that's a good idea actually and is probably kinder than saying something in the heat of the moment. We work very closely together and I would hate it to be awkward.

OP posts:
Blyatiful · 16/04/2021 06:36

This is rude, but effective. When your colleague manterrupts, hold your hand up to him in a blocking manner (like talk to the hand), don’t make eye contact, but say “I’m speaking”, and carry on. If you want to be nice, or lighten it up a bit, you could say, when you have finished, “Now, what was it that you wanted to add?” Or “Your turn now!”

chocolateorangeinhaler · 16/04/2021 07:08

Tbh your manager should be pulling him up. He's taking the piss out of the manager and you.
Well done for talking over him. Sometimes it just has to be done.
As the manager witnessed it put what happened in an email and send to the boss and ask that you are treated with respect from colleagues. If the boss tries to calm you down verbally ask for a summary of what they have said in an email. Get everything in writing. I've had colleagues like this and I just don't discuss certain things in their earshot anymore.

ChikiTIKI · 16/04/2021 07:15

Could you say to the manager, if you want to ask me something just call me over next time.

Maybe not so easy if they want you to look something up on the computer though.

TabooNCoke · 16/04/2021 07:49

Watching for tips.
My FIL does this so he can get his monologues in, once I timed him and he went on to a fifteen minute ramble. Last week my MIL asked me something and mid sentence he started asking my DH something so I tried the raising my voice technique until I was almost shouting to finish the sentence, everybody looked embarrassed except him who was well into his 'manologue' by then.
I will try the 'I'm speaking' next time but sadly I think it will end up in reduced contact.

netstaller · 16/04/2021 08:16

I think saying it one on one is ineffective in the long term. I'd say "sorry I'm speaking can I finish?" And I'd also have a word with your manager about him mansplaining incorrect information

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