What's it called when someone does this?

[FromTheAshes]

What's it called when someone refuses to help you with something critical at work unless you reignite a personal friendship with them that you have previously terminated due to their actions?

It's not blackmail, like I thought, as that is limited to financial or property gain.

TIA

Bullying I would say. Do you have a HR department?

@SmileyClare I need the correct terminology because I'm being bollocked for using the word blackmail. I need to have an alternative to use if it persists and I have to take it further.

The out of work friendship was just that, he betrayed my trust by sharing a confidential private conversation so I terminated the friendship out of work but carried on as normal in work. We're in the same team (different managers), doing similar roles and he's supposed to be training me and others up where we have a skills gap.

I have aspergers and struggle with friendships at the best of times. I have huge trust issues, I'm less than 2 years out of an abusive marriage which he is aware of. My ability to trust and my self esteem are rock bottom following all of this, now I'm doubting my own view of the situation given the managers have taken a joint stance which is the reason for my posting for objective views.

Thank you everyone.

You have my sympathy for being reprimanded for using the "wrong" terminology. Your managers are missing the point.

If it helps, then as posters have said this is verging on bullying; you're effectively being excluded from receiving his assistance. He's acted unprofessionally and is not adhering to the terms of his contract (providing you with training and IT support).

I hope he'll be warned about his behaviour and things improve. It sounds difficult but if you're prepared to be amicable and work alongside him then you've done nothing wrong.

The word is 'extortion'.

''Extortion is the practice of obtaining benefit through coercion''
''using violence, threats, intimidation, or pressure from one's authority to force someone to hand over money (or something else of value) or do something they don't want to do.''

Blackmail is when someone claims to have information about you that you wouldnt want public, and threatens to expose you if you dont pay up.

Either way, your colleague is acting unprofessionally (not doing his job and harassing you) and it would be in the companies best interests to deal with them instead of complaining that you arent using the right language.