DC was bitten by strange dog, owner has now contacted me

[Villanelle]

Yesterday my DC was bitten by a dog at the park. He was playing in the play area, went down the slide and then started running after his younger sibling, the dog came out of nowhere and started chasing him. It caught up to him and bit him on the leg and back. He was hurt (puncture wounds, bleeding and bruised) but not enough to need stitches, thankfully. It was terrifying though and could have been so much worse. It was a big dog, like a Weimaraner, and totally out of control in a children's play area, the children(!!) walking it had to drag it away.

We contacted the police but they're going to contact us again in a couple of days.
It was posted about on FB by someone who witnessed it. I didn't reply to it but somehow the owner of the dog has contacted me. They haven't apologised or anything, just given me their phone number and told me to phone them.

I want to shout at them for being so irresponsible, I'm so angry. I don't know if I should reply to them or just leave it up to the police/dog warden. I don't want to argue with them, of course, but I don't think they realise how awful the situation was?

They won't have said anything in their message because they won't want to admit liability. To be fair though it is good that they have made some contact.

Definitely do not engage with them yourself, pass it all to police /dog warden. Our dog was attacked so I've a little knowledge of the processes - although it's very much more serious if the dog has attacked a child/person.

Hope your child is ok and definitely make sure you get a professional to look at the wounds, dog bites can have nasty infections. And I hope you're ok! It sounds awful to witness

Is everyone a dog hater? Surely the obvious thing is that they feel terrible, want to apologize and check on the child. Not all dog owners are irrespnsible, there could be a number of reasons the dog was lose in the park.

Dog lover here. In fact had a 3hr behaiourist session with my sporadically aggressive rescue yesterday. She mostly attacks my husband but I still don't take her into kids play parks. I stand outside while daughter has her inside. In fact I dont have her off lead when there is anyone around. 99% of the time she is fine (and in fact she is never reactive around children) but that possible 1% means she has to be on lead.

I agree that you just need to pass the details on to the police.

Horrible experience for your son and completely irresponsible of the owner

@lljkk

What do folk expect the police to do? What is the outcome (those of you who recommend police) would like to happen?

Well, they might not do anything. But if it happens again, or kills someone's livestock in similar circumstances, or something like that, then it just might be relevant. There are dog control orders and the owner should be the responsible party (notwithstanding if they let children walk it); if the dog injures someone, this goes into the 'being dangerously out of control' part of these orders - and it has. A small child, in a play area.

@Triffid1

There are signs up. It's always the same, they say their dogs are different, wouldn't hurt a fly.

I've never understood this. Surely it's not about the dog hurting the child (usually) but about letting the children have a safe space where they don't have to worry about dogs? my dog wouldn't hurt anyone but I totally accept that there need to be places that people, especially children, who are scared of dogs, can go and not have to worry? Our local playground is often empty and I let dog in with us because she can be annoying outside. But if I see a family anywhere NEAR, I immediately grab her and start removing her - even before the people are within calling range because I want them to be clear we'll be gone if they're coming in.

OP, usually i'd say contact the person but in this case I'd be nervous as there's no apology or acknowledge in the message. I'd pass the details to the police but I'd perhaps get someone else to call on your behalf. Someone who can gauge how the dog owners are likely to react and ensures that you don't get emotional and angry when speaking with them. If they're reasonable and sensible in person you could then engage directly but if it turns out they want to accuse you of behaving badly or whatever, then you can simply never speak with them in person.

I know you think you are being perfectly reasonable with how you handle things and for 99% of the time you absolutely are. But when my daughter was younger she was screamingly terrified of dogs. If she had seen from all the way across the park that there was a dog in the play area, we wouldn't have come any closer, even to give you chance to remove your dog. You wouldn't have even realised we had any intention of wanting to use the play area. So whilst you know you'd remove your dog, some people might not take the chance that you are so understanding and not come anywhere near looking like they are going to come into the play area. Not having a go, just wanted you to know the other side of the coin. And to be fair, if it says no dogs in the play area, then it's NO dogs in the play area, even if you have every intention of removing them if children come in. If other, less considerate dog owners see you in there, they may decide "well, if they do, why can't I?"

I don't hate dogs. I am a dog owner myself.

Yes, DC has seen a Dr.

I don't think the person intends to apologise, the tone of their message is quite rude and it honestly reads like they are trying to blame my DC. They contacted me through FB, so someone probably told them it was my child and they figured it out that way? I'm not entirely sure.

DC is feeling OK today but spent most of last night crying, because he was in pain but also because he was worried about getting the kids/dog in to trouble and he kept blaming himself.

Going by the comments on the FB post there have been other people who have had problems with this particular dog.

I'm not a dog hater, I'm neutral about dogs.
Irresponsible owners, on the other hand....

www.rspca.org.uk/getinvolved/campaign/bsl/dda

I assume that is why the police are involved

I suspect they want to apologies in the hope it all goes away - because they know they were irresponsible letting their kids walk the dog. Even if the dog had never shown any aggressive issues before, letting kids take a dog into a kids playground is just plain irresponsible.

Sorry, I'd pass the details to the police. At the very least the parents need to understand how stupid they were. And depending on the age of their kids, they need to be talked to as well.

As a dog owner, in my opinion the biggest problem (obviously after your son's injuries) is in the middle of this is a dog, who was not being cared for appropriately and for whatever reason reacted badly. It could have been so much worse.

@PricklesAndSpikes I completely take your point. It's only one particular park because frankly, sometimes we joke the council laid it on just for us - it's not exactly popular at the best of times! And the way it's positioned, I can literally remove her and be on the outside almost before people are there. there's another park where I have never allowed her in, even when it's empty, because as you say, I know there would easily be a situation where someone across the park could spot her and leave before I've had a chance to take her out.

But yes, your overall point is valid and I can assure you it's something I do irregularly and under specific circumstances.

You don't need me to tell you that this could have ended tragically.

No doubt the owners are hoping to encourage you to look kindly on their dangerously out of control dog, and their own irresponsible behaviour.

If you do so, the results could be fatal for the next child the dog attacks.

Don't engage with the owners at all. Pass their contact details on to the police as soon as possible. (If you haven't already done so, take photos of your child's injuries).

Triffid1

I am a dog lover and I have kids.

You should not be taking your dog in to the playpark at all, even if you are the only ones in there.
The sign says no dogs for a reason. PLease do not take your dog in.

You have no control over whether it wees or poos while in there, and while you might be good at picking up, it always leaves a residue. Never mind slobbering over where babies and small children are playing.

It really is not a place for your dog. Get out.

@Villanelle

I don't hate dogs. I am a dog owner myself.

Yes, DC has seen a Dr.

I don't think the person intends to apologise, the tone of their message is quite rude and it honestly reads like they are trying to blame my DC. They contacted me through FB, so someone probably told them it was my child and they figured it out that way? I'm not entirely sure.

DC is feeling OK today but spent most of last night crying, because he was in pain but also because he was worried about getting the kids/dog in to trouble and he kept blaming himself.

Going by the comments on the FB post there have been other people who have had problems with this particular dog.

Wouldn't surprise me. My dog got attacked by another dog once and the owner was as effective as a chocolate teapot (I had to push her dog away as she was just standing there) and kept saying her dog had never done that before... 10 minutes later another woman in the park stopped and told me her dog had been attacked by the same dog a while ago and that she now avoids this woman and her dog whenever she sees them!

sorry trifid, didn't see your second post

[quote drpet49]@Mybestestfriend

“I would have my solicitor call to find out where to send the papers. Yes I would sue.”

For what?[/quote]
Pain and suffering because of their negligence maybe? You did see the bit about two bites?

@steppemum

Triffid1

I am a dog lover and I have kids.

You should not be taking your dog in to the playpark at all, even if you are the only ones in there.
The sign says no dogs for a reason. PLease do not take your dog in.

You have no control over whether it wees or poos while in there, and while you might be good at picking up, it always leaves a residue. Never mind slobbering over where babies and small children are playing.

It really is not a place for your dog. Get out.

I hadn't thought of the wee actually. Thanks, good point. I can't remember the last time we did it (the kids are old enough to go in alone now while me and dog walk around the outside) but won't do it again because this is a really good point - some people get really stressed out about that kind of stuff.

I've never understood this. Surely it's not about the dog hurting the child (usually) but about letting the children have a safe space where they don't have to worry about dogs? my dog wouldn't hurt anyone but I totally accept that there need to be places that people, especially children, who are scared of dogs, can go and not have to worry? Our local playground is often empty and I let dog in with us because she can be annoying outside. But if I see a family anywhere NEAR, I immediately grab her and start removing her - even before the people are within calling range because I want them to be clear we'll be gone if they're coming in.

Do you let your lovely, harmless dog piss on all the equipment too? You are no better than any other dog owner who thinks their dog is the exception. If it can't deal with being tied up outside the playground, you need to train it, let it whine, or leave it at home. As pp said, you have no idea if you are deterring people using the playground who see there is a dog in there and keep on walking by.

@Ylvamoon

Pass their phone number and FB message on to the police if you don't want to talk to them.

I would do this.

The dog may have been playing, but the fact remains that it was a large, powerful, out-of-control dog, in the charge of children who were not physically strong enough to restrain it.

If the dog has actually bitten your child hard enough to leave puncture marks in his skin (particularly if any were through his clothing), the chances are that this is not the first time it has acted like this. (Dogs, like serial killers, tend to start with minor attacks which increase in severity.) I think they are trying to contact you because they know very well how serious the situation is and don't want you to take it further, but even if they are genuinely concerned and want to apologise, you don't want to get involved.

I have three dogs of my own. I love dogs. however if this was my dog it would never be out without at least a leash and preferably muzzled, and I would NEVER leave a child in charge of it. If it did tis more than once (and I'll bet my life it has), I wouldn't keep it.

The next child it chases and bites might not get away with superficial wounds. Please pass the information to the police and let them deal with it as they think is appropriate.

@lljkk

What do folk expect the police to do? What is the outcome (those of you who recommend police) would like to happen?

I'm not sure what people expect the police to do but I had always assumed the police would seize the dog and have it put down.

X post

@Villanelle this wasn't by chance a park in Birmingham was it? We were there at the weekend and a dog just as you described entered the play area and was off lead running around jumping up at young children etc. The owners were there totally unbothered until I asked them to put the dog outside the play area and on a lead - they did neither. We left but saw them later and the dog was still off lead - I got the impression from other parents this happens a lot.

No way would I engage with people who keep a dog that is

A) completely out of control
B) walked by children who can’t supervise properly
C) sends you a message with a rude tone

Round here, children’s play areas are behind railings and you aren’t allowed dogs in there. Was the dog even allowed in the area where your dc were?

I’d pass the whole lot onto the police.

Sorry - just seen that the dog HAS caused problems before. In that case it definitely needs to be sorted by the police.

Don't engage with the owners - block them if you can. It's totally inappropriate that they are trying to contact you. If they get your phone number and ring you, cut them off straight away and block.

Don't engage in any way, shape or form.

Won't your child need a Tetanus jag as skin was broken?

I wouldn't speak to the dog owners. They may be apologetic, but may equally either try and guilt-trip you or intimidate you.

What do folk expect the police to do? What is the outcome (those of you who recommend police) would like to happen?

A dog biting a person is a crime. Police absolutely deal with and can take the dog and have it destroyed if considered necessary.

DC is feeling OK today but spent most of last night crying, because he was in pain but also because he was worried about getting the kids/dog in to trouble and he kept blaming himself.

poor dc, I hope they feel better soon.

I wouldn’t deal directly with the owner. Dogs become family members and as a result a lot of people find it hard to look objectively at their pet’s behaviour and draw a line when it crosses from just being annoying in public to actually dangerous.