Ok ExDH you are the perfect parent and I am crp... feel free to vent here

[InsanityOf2020]

Just had a week on teen DS bored at home for his easter break, moody, argumentative, didnt want to do anything, all suggstions met with that "seriously mother are you really suggesting that" look. By the end of the week i was at the end of the teather and seriously thinking about aking his dad to take him in full time.

Talking to his dad today, i am getting probing questions as to why ds was like that with me whereas he was perfect the week before when he was there.

So heres what i really want to say to exh
"Now maybe because you are a lazy could dedicate your full day to him and have planned activities and a structured day while i am trying to juggle working and having him at home and even although you were not doing anything for the full two weeks you insisted on splitting time between us both over the holidays even though i told you i couldnt take any leave for easter. AND normally ds is a beautiful child with me and you come here complaining that he has been a git all weekend because he is angry because you spend half the day in bed because you cant be asked to get off your ass and parent your child now fuck off and stop with the flimsily veiled self congratulatory text for one good week in his 14 years of life"

And breath

Dont tell me i am alone with the pa vaguely there distant ex who lauds it over you when they think they are doing oh so better than you for a nanosecond

Thank you for letting me vent, all cookies and wine received gratefully

Hahaha. I have one... 'Huge, I can't do any home learning while wfh in the same job as you because I am much more - - important-- stressed than you. But I am going to text and ask why, when I logged onto DS Teams account he has X homework not done.
Also.. Huge, I'm concerned about DS's weight gain. But I'm not going to buy him a bike, or go running with him, or put myself out to accommodate the sports clubs that you organise and pay for. No, instead I am going to insist on a contact pattern that forces him to miss those activities and play x box with him.

Oh and 'really, he's never a whiny little shit with me, we've had a great week'. 'Oh we didn't get time to do homework / shower /brush teeth or learn to tie shoelaces, but you can do that yes? '

Typical statement - Our daughter needs a new coat/shoes/drinks bottle/pencil case. Then pause as he waits for me to leap in and do my duty as his subject.

I am a bad mother for not having noticed and must jump to attention and resolve the issue there and then because he has deemed it necessary and needing immediate attention. There is never any thought that he could use his own money and sort it himself (CM is a lost cause!).

It wouldn't be so bad if it were actually true and there were real situations that needed sorting out. He just wants to make a fuss and moan about something.