I think I’m having a mental health crisis

[GoldRhino]

I feel like a nervous wreck.

Recently I lost out on a job opportunity that was really hard to swallow as I’d been volunteering and working for them for a long time.

I also had to cut contact with some more of my family members after I had more problems with them.

I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood abuse which causes nightmares and constant flashbacks.

I’m also feeling paranoid about my weight and looks as I have body dysmorphia. I feel so ugly. I’m 2 stone over my lowest weight, which I constantly beat myself up about, but that weightwas 6 years ago and I had to severely restrict my eating to achieve that and couldn’t maintain it. I don’t think I eat that much- today for example I had 2 mini pancakes with almond butter and a banana, then a small jacket potato with a bit of cheese, apple and salad, and a small amount of pesto pasta and a salmon fillet for dinner. But I’m so big! My tummy is all flabby. I thought it was down to the pregabalin I was on but I came off it and my weight hasn’t changed.

I’m so anxious all the time that my throat feels tight and I feel surreal and shaky.

I’m sorry I know this post is all over the shop but it’s the best I can do right now.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way op. You mention a recent diagnosis, are you under a team that can support you at the moment? What kind of irl support do you have? Friends/family? Mumsnetters are always here to listen and offer support but getting some help in person will be invaluable.

You have a lot going on OP. Not surprised to hear you are feeling wobbly.

Is there something you can do to calm yourself, maybe some breathing? Just some simple breathing let’s your brain know to calm
Down.

Do you have a therapist? If not, could you ask your doctor to refer you to someone?

Try and be really reassuring to yourself. Everything is ok. You have some difficult things going on.

Sending hugs OP. You are not alone.

Can you get in the habit of going for a walk after dinner now it’s lighter. I find that helps clear my head when I’m going through an anxious period. Also has the additional health benefits.

I tried so hard to calm my anxiety down today but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t even put my finger on what thing was making me feel so bad. I just felt so floaty and horrible.

Yes I’ve been referred to the mental health team. I really hope I hear back from them ASAP because I feel desperate.

After dinner is tricky for me as I have to do the kids baths etc, but I do work out every morning and do a lot in the garden.